I dont know what to do i feel horrible!?

Question

So my Niece (by marriage) had her early birthday/ going away party because she is moving with her mom to california to live with her "new daddy". My niece is 4 years old and my husband and i were supposed to go to the party tonight but he is fixing our only car and my daughter is running a fever and miserable. I didnt feel so bad until my father in law called me and said that his wife didnt feel like being around her ex daughter-in-laws family. I feel horrible because no one from this side of the family attended her birthday party. I am really upset because my crazy mother in law just didnt feel like going and didnt support her granddaughter. I want to say something to my MIL but i would just get some BS answer from her. What should i do? Should i say something...or what..there is not much i think i can do but i feel so bad that her grandma would just ditch her like that.

p.s. the reason she didnt go is because she thinks her son (my nieces "father") is the best person in the world when in all reality he is a drug addict alcoholic how has his mommy wrapped around his finger and she is upset that my nieces mother moved on and is happy

Answer 1

Did you tell her you couldn't make it? Couldn't you leave your daughter with your husband and maybe you go over, or even better still maybe you could arrange another day and take her out for the day or something.

Answer 2

Sounds like you should just stay of it. She has some issues and will always see her son has perfect. Beside it sounds like your Niece is in goods hands. Did you at least call your niece on her B-day and just tell her I can't come to your party so and so is sick and I'm taking care of them. Kids understand a lot. Arrange to go over later in a few days and make up for it. But don't worry about your MIL. I have a Mom sort of like this and I learned a long time ago not to expect much from her.

Answer 3

Every family has their dramas, and I am afraid you are about to get sucked into one.  Whenever something like this comes up in my life I always ask myself, "How important will this be a year from now? Five years from now?"  If the answer is that it will not even register on my radar screen by then, I just let it go.  Let it go.

It is unfortunate that you couldn't see your niece before she left, for what you describe as a better life - but let that soothe you, she is going to a better life in a more stable home.  As for all the other drama queens and kings in the family, let it go.  I wouldn't say a word if I were you.

Pick your battles - and keep them infrequent.  Good luck!

Answer 4

This is not your problem. You can't be responsible for your mother in law's behavior. She is to blame, not you. You have a sick child and I"m sure they appreciate you not coming and spreading the germs. lol Get her a gift and call her on the phone and tell her how much you love her and you will miss her, etc...and let it go. This is not your issue. Your mother in law is responsible for getting out of denial about her son and finding a way to try to help him.