I dont know what to do...please help me!! ?

Question

Okay well me and my husband were married for 2 years before we decided to split. I was the one who initiated it actually. He was gone for the majority of the marriage overseas (he was in the navy). Well I thought I sent in papers for a divorce and got the divorce, but turns out there was a Soldier's and Sailor's act protecting him from legal action against him while overseas.

Well we talked maybe 3 times total in the 2 years we have been seperated. I still think about him and I still care about him a lot. He had a girlfriend I had a boyfriend and now have a great boyfriend who is wonderful in every way. He knows about the marriage.

Well today my "husband" tells me he is joining the Army and he did not tell the Army we are trying to get a divorce so I can get benefits. He said he still thinks about him and I often. I don't know what to do. I am falling in love with my boyfriend but my "husband" always holds a special place. I was thinking about going to see my "husband" while he is in basic. I don't know if thats a good idea or not. I just want to make sure Im doing this right and wont hurt anyone.

Please know that I already know I'm a bad person. I have been told this last time I asked a question about my relationship triangle. Also people told me this is similar to some show called Sweet Home Alabama, I never seen it but I guess. Thanks in advance for your advice!!

Answer 1

you're not a bad person. you are just normal. any girl would be confused in this situation. you really need to take a step back and look at the situation. if you really still love your soon to be ex then you should go for him. he was the one that you fell in love with first. but make sure you will be happy with him. if you will be happier with your boy friend then stay with him. even if you can't get married marriage is just a figure of speech even if you not married you still love each other the same amount. do what you think will make you happy. if your ex holds  special place let him keep be firm about not loving him like you used to, but appreciate his affections and keep him as a wonderful friend. good luck  

Answer 2

You want  MILITARY SPOUSE BENEFITS?

You do not deserve them.

Not to mention if you divorce you may not be eligible for them either.

you can get a divorce, talk to an attorney,they can set things up.

Also if you are havung second thoughts and wanting to see your ex, you need to dump the b/f, live on your own for a yr. until you KNOW what you want, because it is obvious you are NOT finished with your husband yet, and if he was serious about his g/f he would have divorced you already.

Tell him you will forfeit the benefits, you just want to move on.

Answer 3

d**n! This is a lot like Sweet Home Alabama! I think that it is time that you be honest to yourself and ask yourself who do you want to be with. Personally, your husband is always going to hold a place in your heart because he was your husband.  If you still have feelings for him then this is something that needs to be addressed, not to us, but to him.  You can't have your cake and eat it too! You must choose who you want to be with and make sure that they have the same intentions toward you ( he also has a girlfriend). But in the end of Sweet Home Alabama she decided not to signed the divorce papers and marry her current fiance. She went back to the man that she loved since she was a child. Only you can decide what you want to do!! Good Luck with everything!

Answer 4

ok i kno dat ur "husband" still hold a place in ur heart but if u guys separated it was for a reason,,no?but let me tell u dat if u go see him again u gonna start thinkin abt goin back with him n all, before u do anythin stupid and instead of makin the wrong choice, see wat ur husband has dat ur boyfriend doesnt have, u kno try to compare both of them, see wat they have in comment and differences see which one u like better,,treats u better mak u more happier and more. but u kno wat dnt go see ur husband except if u have to, just follow ur heart not wat others tell u, or wat they think is right or wrong for u, but if u feel like something is not right if u go see him then it means dat it wasnt meant be but to tell u the truth i dnt think u should go  into seeing him, i mean give ur new man a chance to show u wat he has under his sleeves. wait a year r so and see wat happen dats all i got to give u......but u have to think twice before doing any decision... it has to feel right to do it  

Answer 5

i dont think you are a bad person.  i would hate to be in a marriage where i hardly see my husband.  i can understand.  you have the right to have a boyfriend if thats what you feel bad about.  if i were you, i would stick with your boyfriend.  youve been with your husband before, and it was not working.  remember? he was gone all the time! if you went for your husband youd be stuck at home alone like you were before.  your husband sounds like a great guy and you should stay friends with him.  and contact! email or call him once in a while.  but DO NOT cheat on your boyfriend.  see how it goes with your boyfriend.  if it doesnt work out with him, maybe try with your husband when he gets out of the army.  good luck!

PS....watch sweet home alabama! its a good movie.  ;)