I dont know what to do ?

Question

my bf has been married twice before 3 kids to the first wife and 1 to the second . no problems with the eldest three .but the youngest who is 9 is my worst nightmare ,we only have her once a week but she causes the worst rows between my bf and me .she is daddy,s angel and can do no wrong in his eyes .she is rude .and tells lots of lies .i have two kids who dread her coming .because of the rows and trouble .he will not have a single word said against her and expects us all to be nice to her after all the trouble she causes.im ready for walking away .

Answer 1

You and your boyfriend need to get on the same page regarding this child's behavior. If he continues to condone the bad behavior, you will have to decide if it is worth it or not and it sounds like you have already determined it is not. If, however, you both would like to see things improve, you may want to read the book Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days by Dr. Kevin Leman. Then actually implement the ideas in the book. Children learn how to behave from those around them and this girl can certainly learn that you expect something better without harsh criticism or condemnation.  Best wishes to all of you.

Answer 2

I know what you are going through. I also have three kids with my ex and he does not want my boyfriend of 10 years to discipline them at all. But my ex is only on the picture for one day out of the week and that's if he doesn't come up with an excuse for him not to pick them up. Which does not bother me at all. But when they do go with him he feeds them so much B/S. My boyfriend had a confrontation with my oldest and he is 13 years old they got to a real big argument because my son did not wanted to do what he was told by my boyfriend. The problem escalated and I got in between them because it got real bad. My boyfriend decided to start to punish at a late time of the relationship. I wanted him to get involved because they were very disrespectful. But at the same time I didn't want them to hate each other. My point here is you have to be involved with discipline from the beginning of the relationship and he has to allow you to even punish the child. Its not like if you are going to beat her. You just want respect from "all" the children. It is acceptable for you to feel this way.

Answer 3

if you're not involving this child more in what you do with your kids that may be the problem but it can also be her mother is putting things in her head maybe the mom is resentful towards you and the relationship but the only way is to confront the problem head on tell your bf you and his daughter need to have a talk tread lightly shes child make sure you address the issues about lying and etc as a family you all have to take care of the problem at hand if you love him and really want to be with him you will have to work out the issues together

Answer 4

You have to decide if your bf is worth all of the grief and trouble that the "little angel" is causing. It does not sound like he is going to change. I would sit down with him and just spell out everything that your feeling, and how traumatic her visits are on your relationship with him and your families relationship with "little angel". Then I would see if any behavior changes, if it doesn't then you have to decide if you want to stay and deal with her in the future.

Answer 5

If you really mean it, then walk away.  There will never be peace in your life as long as he keeps treating her like a god and the rest of you like dirt.  You don't need the stress, so move on.