I dont think i'm in love with him any more, what should I do?

Question

i've been with my partner for just over six years. we have 2 beautiful children. We used to work together and got on really well, I mentioned to him that I was looking for a flat and he said he was looking for a lodger so i thought well why not and I moved in.

I remember when i first moved in we used to stay up all night just talkin and I never used to get tired of hearing him speak! we just had this connection and i found myself becoming quite flirty with him. at the time i had a boyfriend and things wernt going great between us so i ended it and the night i did was the night i got with my current boyfriend. I admit i didn't give myself any time and maybe rushed straight in but i fell in love and we had 2 great children and now everything is c**p. we sleep in separate beds the kids have started to sleep in with me. we never go anywhere, never do anything, don't really talk much, and i feel like i cant do anything about it. i want to have a hot passionate affair l'm only 24

Answer 1

The Two of you need to talk if theres no feelings there be honest with each other and Move on [seperately]maybe you ll find love with someone else [Good Luck].

Answer 2

It does seem like you jumped into this relationship really quickly.  What I'm seeing though is possibly that you two let life get in between you.  Things happened quickly and now you have 2 kids and you really have not bothered to learn to make time to simply be together and connect the way you once did.  Down deep you two are still the same people.  The problem is you don't spend time together exploring each other and enjoying each other.  You should never sleep apart and you should never let kids sleep with you.  Your adults and if your going to have that passion you have to make a place for it in your life.

Answer 3

I completley can relate to your situation...I have been with my current husband for almost 10 years and we started out the same way as you.  You are definetly at a breaking point in your relationship...I am strongly against cheating...If you feel as if you need to cheat please end your relationship first.  If things start to get better you will forever have the burden of adultry.  Start with full out voicing your feelings to your spouse in all honesty.  Anyone should appreciate honesty!  That is what has helped me in my relationship.  Whenever I start to feel a certain way...I go to my husband and tell him the issue and tell him we need to deal with it ASAP and work through it and come to some type of agreement and vice versa.  Granted I know all me arent like that but all you can do is try...and he doesnt want to try then...It may be time for you to move along, and work out a relationship only for the sake of your children to see their father regularly.  Hope this helps...sorry to ramble.

Answer 4

Life is too short to stay with someone that doesn't make you happy.

You don't want your kids growing up, thinking that your marriage is a relationship. Kids that live in houses with parents that have problems grow up to have the same problems with their spouses.

It's not a good idea to have an affair! Even if you and your husband aren't happy, that doesn't mean you should cause pain like that. He would be hurt, your kids would be hurt, and you would be hurt when the affair doesn't go anywhere. Plus if you left your husband, courts won't award you custody of your kids because of adultery.

If you are unhappy, you should try it apart. Having an affair won't solve your marriage problems.

Answer 5

Get the fireworks back in the relationship! Tonite do not sleep in your own bed, sleep with him! After  the kids are in bed put on something s**y for him and make the moves he hasn't seen in a while. Try and get the sparks going.

Answer 6

Well talk to him, maybe try couple counseling it might work. I just went through something similar and they way i felt was if we didn't give it that shot in counseling  then if it didn't work I know I really tried and wouldn't have any second thoughts on what if...  Good luck.. oh communication is key and pure honesty you need to keep everything open.