I dont want kids, is that a problem?

Question

I am 40. Couldnt have children when I was younger and had a hystorectomy because of medical problem. I dont want to adopt or become a foster parent. So why is it a that people not in my family are urging me to do so?

Answer 1

I don't know why people do this. Trying to push they desires and wants onto you and it is not right. I would tell them to drop the subject that it isn't happening and you don't want anymore decussion about it. It only stresses you out. That you will not change your mind and they shouldn't try to make you.

Answer 2

That is a highly personal choce.  Listen to your gut and not your family!

Answer 3

Your family is probably assuming that you are like most people and would like children of your own.  If you are happy playing auntie or even just not being around children then continue to do this.  

Children are a handful and if you don't want one then there isn't a need for you to have one.  What's the use of you forcing yourself to a commitment that you don't want to make?

There isn't anything wrong with not wanting children.  It is a personal choice, not one for anyone but you to make.

Inform your family that you are happy as you are and would like the pressures to be taken away.  You do not want to become a mother, so why should you be pressured into it?

Answer 4

Maybe they have good reasons or intentions for doing that. Here in the Philippines, most people look at children as anchors to lean on during old age. Maybe they are just concerned that there would be no one to take care of you (physically and financially) when you grow old. Or maybe they just want you to experience the happiness and frustrations of raising children. Just ask them why they are urging you to adopt and tell them your reasons why you do not want to. They will stop pestering you.

Answer 5

Hey, that's perfectly fine. I don't want kids either. Tell these people to mind their own business.

Answer 6

Oh, lord. I hate it when family won't leave me alone about when I am going to have children. I'm only 26, but I still think that it is none of their business. You need to tell your family nicely but firmly that you don't want to adopt or foster, nor will you ever want to. For some reason, having butting in on these issues is VERY common in families. Good luck!

Answer 7

tell them it's none of their business - its always up to you and you only.

Answer 8

I never wanted them either. I raised my wife's two boys and that is more than enough for me.  Forget the other's opinions. For those few of us it is better if we aren't forced into something we have no desire for.

Answer 9

Because misery loves company, in some cases.  : ) In others, people just can't mind their own business.  I think the childfree life is the best thing since sliced bread, and can't understand why anyone wants kids, but I never go to parents and ask them why they had kids and why don't they give them up for adoption.

If someone's happy with their choice, let them be happy.

Answer 10

It is up to you if you want kids or not.

Answer 11

i won't worry about it and i think its perfectly fine and natural not to have kids i find it hard but its really rewarding for me. Just so that you don't feel alone 3 of my friends who are around the age of 40 does not have kids at all.

Answer 12

its not a problem, it is your life, not theirs,

if you don't want kids, then don't have them.

Answer 13

If you don't want them then don't have them. That's not anyone's concern but your own (& your spouse's if you have one)

I myself have 5 ~ but that's my deal. If you feel completely whole without children I guess others will have to except that.

I guess most people think that everyone should have children to complete their lives. They can't imagine a life without children so they think that for some reason you should have a child via adoption or fostering so that you are a well rounded "family" & that you have a complete life.

Whatever you choose, choose it for you not for others &  God Bless.