I edited this.. Fiance trouble... Advice please?

Question

Me & My fiance got together in Dec. Well his parents got into it with him & Was going to kick him out because at the time they didnt like me. Well I live with my nannie to help her out around the house, & She said have him move in with us so we could have a man around the house. He moved in, in Jan. He started working in Feb and worked til midish April. He had some back trouble & The job termanated him. Then he started working at the end of May & Worked a few weeks into June.

Everytime you said something to him about working his respose is "I know I need a job so bad." It seems as to me he doesnt want to work. What do you think? Ive tried everything getting down to the point, but nothing seems to work. Ive even told him Id leave him. =/

I also just recently found out I was pregnant. (I was on birthcontrol whenever this happened) None of my family wants me working due to some health problems. On the other hand he keeps mentioning that he wants to get married before the babys born {In Tennessee for the baby to have the fathers lastname you have to be married before he/she is born. That is that I have heard anyways.} but I jsut want to tell him I dont want to get in that situation if hes not wanting to support his family. Am I in the wrong for this?

Any help or advice is appericated alot!

Also, were can I find online laws that state about Tennessee, not being married and the baby having the fathers lastname?

Answer 1

the guy's a bum.

he will be a bum and a squatter as long as you continue to support him by paying his bills and putting a roof over his head..

you are in for a life of misery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

think about it, looks like the parents had good reason to kick him out.  AND looks like grama didn't get a man around the house, she got a deadbeat freeloading looser instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like he wants to work, are you sure you should marry this man? You should tell him that you won't marry him until he's found a job, and sticks with it for at least a year.. proving he will be able to support you and this baby.

And the last I heard, you're entitled to give your child any last name you see fit. My own sister, is not married.. but she gave her daughter her fathers last name as well as her own. So you could even give your child a hyphened (example Smith-Jones as those are 2 of the most common names around) last name if that's what you want to do.  

Answer 3

Whoever the father is, is who should be named on the birth certificate, unless other arrangements have been made.  It doesn't matter if the two of you are married.  There is no state law that says otherwise.  The child can have any surname you want it to.  

In regards to the rest, I completely agree with the person above me.  Make him keep a job for a year, before you'll marry him.  

Answer 4

Wow.  In seven months you met, moved in together (in someone else’s home even), got pregnant, he’s gone through 2 jobs and he’s currently unemployed.  There’s NOTHING good happening here.  You moved way too fast.  Next time, slow down.  

If he was terminated from both jobs or he quit, then it would appear that he likely has some sort of problem (usually an attitude problem of some type) that interferes with him being a productive employee/retaining employment, and until he corrects it, it’s probably going to continue to happen.  Is he now *actively* trying to find a job?  If he doesn’t truly want to work, as long as someone else is paying the bills, he’s not going to.

What’s your health problem?  A lot of women have medical issues during pregnancies, but they don’t quit work, unless the DOCTOR orders them to/puts them on bed rest.  You have bills to pay (even if it's just personal bills/expenses), a child on the way, and a boyfriend who isn't working, so unless you have a huge savings account somewhere it doesn’t look like you’re financially able to quit.  Now maybe your family will foot the bills for you for the next year or so, but given that you’re about to become a parent, don’t you think you need to be an adult and support yourself?

Personally, I think marriage at this point would be a big mistake.  You don’t have to get married.  If you're not married--As long as you and Dad sign a ‘voluntary acknowledgement of paternity' (the hospital will have the form), then Dad’s name can be listed on the birth certificate as the father and you can give the child Dad’s last name.  You can verify this by calling the TN Office of Vital Records.  You and Dad need to be aware that signing the acknowledgment of paternity makes him the legal father, so he has equal rights to the child and equal obligations (ie the obligation to provide financial support).

Good luck to you.