I ended an affair to save my marrige. I did the right thing. So why do I feel as if a part of me has died?

Question

I actually feel lost, hopeless and ready to give up living life at all.

Answer 1

Maybe you did the right thing. Maybe you did the wrong thing. Maybe you did the right thing for the wrong reason. You need some professional help to help you learn to figure out which it is and to be right the next time.  

Answer 2

You obviously didn't want to end the relationship with the other person maybe you dont love the person your married to anymore and I would take this as a sign that it is time to end your marriage

Answer 3

You definately need to see a marriage counselor.  It seems like you love your wife and want to save your marriage.  Just ending the affair is only part of the "fix" for your marriage. You must resolve all of the issues surrounding the affair in the first place. It sounds like maybe you REALLY don't want to be married.  You need to sort your feelings out.  If you do not get professional counseling, you will probably end up cheating again, and your marriage will ultimately collapse.   Good Luck

Answer 4

most likely u had an emotional connection with him and when u broke it off u lost that connection with him or had a hard time dealing with it!

Answer 5

see a counselor. You and your wife should go together or even have a few separate sessions.  

Answer 6

*Valerie hands over gun*

Here you go!

Answer 7

because the excitement of the affair has ended.

focus on your spouse and make your relationship the best.

Answer 8

You had the best of both worlds! You had what you wanted at home but something that you felt that you lacked was made up with the other man. Now that you let go of what was lacking, you feel that you'll never have that same feeling with your husband. Only time will tell if things get better! Stay positive and your head up, try to move on.

Answer 9

Because you are a CHEATER who got CAUGHT, of course you are going to feel crappy. Your wife who once thought of you as a man who could do no wrong now sees you as a liar and someone who can't be trusted. You guys need to seek counseling if you are serious about saving your marriage.

Answer 10

Commit yourself.

What kind of a person feels like giving up on life just cuz they stopped getting snatch on the side?

Loser

Answer 11

Maybe because you are ashamed of yourself?

Answer 12

Get into counseling...

Next time, make better decisions so that you are not hurting others (and yourself) in the future.

Good luck.

Answer 13

because you are with the wrong person or you realized what you did.

Answer 14

I hear you I'm going through the same thing. It's because you miss him/her. That connection is always going to be different then the one you have with your spouse. It's the difference in the people that make you feel so close to someone when your going through some things. I fell in love with the guy I had an affair with. I still love my husband but not like that and I don't like the s*x. Once it's gone it's sooooooooo hard to get back. Good Luck!

Answer 15

obviously you must have developed feelings for the other person and now you are miserable now in no way am i condoning having a affair but you and your spouse need to go to counseling and see if this is what was needed to save the marriage or where there other issues destroying the marriage and the affair was just the final straw.

Answer 16

why would someone be ready to give up on life because of an affair... sheesh perhaps you still have some feelings for the person on the side and might I ask what prompted you to end the affair?

Answer 17

The guilt is doing that to you. You will probably be like this until you can't take it anymore and end up telling your significant other what you did. You can't live with this guilt forever, can you? Of course, the scary part is confessing and dealing with the consequences, but you did it to yourself, so now you have to live with your decision.

Don't talk about giving up on life, there's no point in that. There is always something that can be done about any situation to make it better then what it is. Remember that everything happens for a reason and that today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. You will get through this as you have gotten through other problems in your life. Go for a walk, think about what you have to do to not feel like this anymore and do it, like pulling off a band aid.  

Answer 18

your an a*****e why does it have to be about you , your the one that had the affair, right?

Answer 19

You feel this way because you cheated and obviously are ashamed for what you did. You may have ended it and done the right thing, but you were repeatedly doing the wrong thing from the moment you started cheating. It's hard to erase the feelings of doing wrong. It will take a lot of time and help from your partner.

Answer 20

Your current situation has found you with a foot in two worlds yet living in neither. In a word, limbo you really need to put your heart aside for now and use your head. Weigh up the pros and cons of holding onto something that has finished and ask what is most important, what is ultimately going to make you happiest. Make a decision and ask life itself to push you through that door. Right now you may not have the strength. Life has a way of solving your problems if you just let it.

Answer 21

Because you were in partial love with two women at the same time, you could never honestly believe the other woman could handle being married to you and cleaning your dirty socks off the ground?

The other woman probably fed you lots of compliments and was good in bed.  She probably sucks in other areas where your wife was good at.

You probably are depressed because you realize you f'd up your marriage and hurt your spouse terribly, and your life was better when you had to women making you happy.

Good luck, just don't put your wife threw more h**l.  Read some marriage self help books & go to counceling.