I feel alone and angry?

Question

At school, I am generally well-liked and tons of girls would love to go out with me. Strangely enough, any time I see any girl around me I am filled with a completely unexplainable loathing and desire to get away where I can be alone, but I still feel attracted to them physically.

I hate being around many guys as well and can't stand their stupidity, but there's no sexual pressure there to make me feel angry for not talking to them.

In a large group I feel totally overwhelmed and usually lock up, though when I am around close friends I feel completely fine.

What's going on here?

Answer 1

I will do my best to try and help you out, I used to be like that back in High School, so hopefully my personal experience will be something you identify with and can use it to your advantage.

Back then, I did not see what was wrong, but now that I am older, I can look back and pick out what I think was the problem. Here is the deal, I used to love being around people because I loved the attention, but at the same time, I hated it because I saw this like a job, that I had to say certain things so they will like me and talk to me, and it was the talking part from them, that got me hyper and happy, but I hated having to talk when I had nothing to say, so it was like a responsibility. The problem that now I see, is that I lied to myself, and eventually to the people by faking myself and trying to fit in where I did not, so talking to people seemed like a burden on my back because I was playing a role. Had I let out my real self, I would have eventually found my group, and it would have been more enjoyable, because I would not have had to fake myself. But when you are a teenager, it is hard to have patience and step back to look at the situation, I had to learn and I am happy I did.

I hope this helps, and good luck.