I feel bad and confused about selling my horse?help!?

Question

i want to sell my 2 year old horse-gelding but i feel really bad,like i'm betraying him...idk what to do,i can't handle him i am scared of him because of an accident we had in the field and he knows it and uses it against me. and i've talked to my cousins about it and they just say stop being scared and take control but i can't! idk what to do! I just want to sell him to a more exp. horse person,and i've put up an ad and this girl wants to buy him but now i'm freaking out cause i feel bad!! idk what to do,they will be mad at me if i sell him but i can't handle him properly and i probably never will! i want to have a horse i can trust and have confindence in and that i know i'll be safe around, i don't feel any of that with him! i don't trust him,i have no confidence in him...should i sell him? and if i don't what can i say to the girl who wants to buy him[i only put up the ad yesterday!] help!

Answer 1

If he is a risk of hurting you then you have to do what is right and sell him and get a horse that is more suited to your riding style.  i had 2 sell one of my horses once, i just couldn't handle him and i felt like i betrayed him, but when he was sold i got 1st buy back rights.  if the girl ever wanted to get rid of him she had to contact me first.  she kept me updated on his progress and now he's doing great and we stay in touch so i know that he's alright.

Answer 2

If it isnt working out then it's probably the best for the both of you he isn't going to be able to learn and progress in training if  you fear him he needs someone who will know how to handle him safely. If you feel that he will not work and sell him you are actually a better horseman by doing the best for your horse. Think about whats best for the both of ou and make your decision =] Good luck and best wishes make the right decision and have a happy horse carrer!!!

By the way be very sure who you sell him to will be a good owner b/c many young horses have been ruined by selfless trainers and you doing the right thing by selling him shouldn't be ruined by someone elses poor training judgment. I would ask to see her work and do a sort of interview. If she lives closeby i would ask to visit and check out her work and barn because you want to be sure it is a safe place for your horse.=]

Since that particular person won't come see him i would nicely tell her you don't think she is fit to be your horses owner say thank you and i wouldn't give into her if she tries convincing you that you should sell him to her. Again use you best judgement! There are many other wonderful horse owners for your baby.

Answer 3

Ok look, I was in the same position just a few months ago. I bought a 4 year old mare who I fell in love with, but just couldnt handle. I struggled with her for a year before I finally decided to sell her.

Like you, I didnt have any trust in her, I couldnt relax, and she knocked my confidence big time. Think of it this way, owning a horse is supposed to be fun right? Then whats the point in owning a horse your not enjoying?

When I sold my horse I cried for days, I was so unbelievably upset I was depressed for weeks. But the relief of not having to fight with her all the time felt so good.

I now have a horse that I can handle, and Im enjoying being a horse owner again. Believe me, if you cant handle your horse, then sell it, because theres no point in carrying on and chances are either one or both of you are going to end up hurt. Think about it, what have you got to look forward to?

As for the person who wants to buy him, if your not 100% happy with where hes going, dont let them have him.

Is there any way you can go up there and see where hes going to be kept and meet the girl? If not, then tell them your not willing to let him go somewhere without seeing it first. Its your right to choose not to sell him to someone you dont want to have him.

You have to be logical and listen to your head over your heart, sell your horse to someone you are happy with, and buy a horse you can actually enjoy.

Hes still a baby, hes got his whole life ahead of him and he could do anything in the right hands. Imagine going to visit him and seeing how much better he is, and how good it will feel knowing that you made the right decision.

Goodluck.

Answer 4

I'm old school, when you get thrown off you get back on. You have to be the one in control. If you are scared of him and can't overcome the fear, he's not the horse for you. I'm stubborn I always get back on.

Answer 5

I think you should definitely sell the horse.  You have very logical reasons for doing so.  It's not easy to break a two year old, and if you are the least bit scared or tense, you are an accident waiting to happen, and you will not have an enjoyable horse riding experience.  It sounds like you need a few years with a nice, well trained confidence building horse.  Get something older, calmer, and ultimately more fun for you.  Get off to the right start, then maybe several years down the road you might want to try with a young one again.

Answer 6

Obviously you dont trust him, can't handle him, and you are doing the right thing. Atleast you can ADMIT that you can't handle him. I've seen so many people buy two year olds and cannot handle them but go on to ruin them.

Just be careful who you sell to, have the perspective buyers come out and check him out. Why did you get him in the first place?

I tell you, you are doing the right thing. nothing wrong. you wiill cry.. but you'll get over it and hes young enough probably not to care. do not sell to the girl, sounds fishy to me. find another buyer

Answer 7

Don't feel badly about selling your horse. It's not fair to you or him to keep him in a home where you think you can't handle him. Watch the girl ride and interact around horses. Do you feel that they would be a good match? Can she provide a good environment for him? No one likes to sell their horse. We've had to sell a few, and I even cried after some of them left. If the girl lives near you, ask if you can come and visit once in awhile to see how he's doing. And if you really don't want to lose touch with your horse, make her sign a contract that says if she ever re-sells, you get notified before an ad goes up, and you get first rights to buy him back. That way, if 4 years from now, you're a more experienced rider and the girl doesn't want him anymore, you'll be able to get him back. Good luck, and don't feel badly.

edit: if she lives an hour away, tell her that you're not selling him to  a girl you haven't seen ride before. If she wants the horse that badly, she can come herself. If you don't want him that far away, tell her sorry, you're only selling locally (30 mins away or less).

Answer 8

Why don't you find a trainer that can help you with this horse if he means so much to you.  I had a similar experience with a 5 year old. I still have her and she is now in her late 20's. I learned so much and we became a great team.  It will take hard work on you part, but he is only a baby.  You need to start with some ground work and stick with that until he respects and listens to you. It is important that you have his attention when you ask for it. You will feel better and he will respond and behave more.

Answer 9

im not gonna lie to you. you have 2 options: you either get over it, or you sell him. those are your options. pick one.

Answer 10

I agree partially with the first answer but wish to expound.

You do only have two choices - sell him or keep him and make good.  Actually you do have a third - keep him and let him be a pasture pony wild in the field - not a good option for either of you though.

At 2 years old the horse IS still a baby.  Their minds are not ready for much more than simple handling from the ground and doing basic things.  their bodies are still growing a great deal.  If you have little experience with horses, a 2 year old is the worst thing for you.  

It is difficult to tell what your age is or experience with horses - I totally understand losing confidence due to a bad experience - and if you're young, lemme tell ya it doesn't get better with age.  when you get tossed from a horse at 40 it hurts much more than it did when you were 20!  At 20, I'd get up and right back on, at 40 I'm scared as heck because I injure easier.

So - here's what you have to think.  You must give this horse the chance to be all he can be.  Find him a home with a person who understands and will train him well and teach him to communicate well.  This should be your goal.

If you were unable to foresee the challenges with this horse, you may not be able to properly find a good person.  Just because a person sends their trainer to pick up a horse doesn't mean he won't get a good home.  Can you go see where he'll be?  Can you speak with the prospective buyer to tell whether she will be good to him.

It's your choice - I do suggest however, selling this horse unless you plan to put some money into training you and he together to become a confident team.  You're not going to do it alone.

The "Cowboy up and get back on" is not a suitable answer - the proper answer is figuring out why the problem happened in the first place and the proper fix - you didn't say what the actual incident was that scared you, but the fact is there was an issue and now you are afraid - unless you get professional help with this horse, you will not gain with him on your own - if you could, you wouldn't be in front of all of us asking this question now.

Answer 11

If you put up the ad, that must mean in your heart you really want to sell him because you can't handle him. If I were you, I would take him to a trainer and let them get him "broke." Then you won't feel guilty about selling him, yet you'll still be able to handle him! I hope this helps. :D

Answer 12

First of all I would never sell my horse to just anyone. They would have to meet my approval first.

But if you are not comfortable with him because of a past incident, you will probably never be comfortable with him. I would check around in your area and see if there is someone that has a horse you would be comfortable with. Probably a nice older gelding. NEVER buy a horse because you think it is pretty. And if you are an unexperienced rider, never get on any horses back until you see someone else ride it first. That has always been my cardinal rule.

Answer 13

Perhaps look into sending this nice young horse to a trainer...... While he is away you could also take lessons and be ready for when he comes home...You could then keep him and not have to worry about getting hurt...

Answer 14

He is still a baby and is in the process of learning new things-I would say get a good trainer and work with him that way. Of course he's going to be a bit "crazy" right now-he's young and green!

I would say your issue is not with the horse-it is with yourself. You need to learn to handle and understand him just as much as he needs to be trained properly. Like I said, he's still a baby and needs a ton of training yet. If you find a trainer that the both of you can work with, then I think things will work out.

But I think your best bet is to get an older, quieter horse. Don't feel bad about selling him-it will work better for him if he's got a more experienced rider, and work better for you as you won't have to worry about it any longer.