I feel bad leaving my daughter in daycare...anyone else feel his way?

Question

My daughter is 7 weeks old tomorrow and I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with her. This may seem silly but my husband and I just signed up for a gym membership and they provide a daycare on the premisis. For some reason I feel so guilty leaving her even though it wouldn't be any longer than an hour. And i doesn't stop there. I also feel bad leaving her with a baby sitter. Again, I haven't left her for more than three hours and that was only once, but I feel so guilty. Do any other moms feel this way? If so, how do you make yourself feel better about it?

Thank you! :)

Answer 1

Yep totally know what you mean - and it doesn't get any better as they get older - my daughters are 5 and 2.5 and I still feel guilty for leaving them. I work part time (for my own sanity) and today is my daughters 5th birthday - she's so excited about going to daycare cause they're going to make her a cake - yet I am completly wracked with guilt for sending her to day care on her birthday even if it is only for 4 hours.

You learn to deal with...seriously.  

Answer 2

This is normal, we all feel like this. But here's the thing, if you leave her in the care of other (responsible) people once in while, it teaches her to trust you, and know that you will always come back for her. She is too little now to have sep. anxiety so she won't really miss you. Parents who never leave their kids for a second create very clingy children and that makes things like school very difficult in the future. So do what is best for the child, not just what is most comfortable for you.  

Answer 3

I feel guilty any time I leave my son. Even if it's with my husband! I'm the mom; he needs me! Now that my son is 9 months, I feel less guilty than I did when he was younger and I assume it gets better over time.  

Answer 4

I think all first time mothers feel this way. I did too!

But it will subside overtime.

Answer 5

Wanna talk about guilty.  I felt guilty just thinking about it.  My son is six months old, and no one but me has ever watched him but either of us. Well minus the whole 10 min quick shower when my sister was visiting, while he was sleeping.  Now a biggie for me, my sister is visiting again tomorrow.  She does not have enough room in her car, so I will be taking the bus, while my son rides in her car.  It freaks me out to be away from him for that whole 10-15 min.  Now I do work fri nights and sat and Sunday random times.  But then he is with my husband.  I am freaking out now, I am getting a promotion at work, and I am betting in another 6 months I will get another that will require 50 hours a week.  Then I will have to put him in daycare.... eeekk... Sigh,  do not worry about feeling guilty.  I am the worst of them all.  :)

Answer 6

the child is very young and completely dependent on her caregiver.  instead of feeling guilt, cut back on the extraneous things in your life so that you can reduce your work hours.  when you do need daycare services, look for a smaller in home daycare.  working full time will cause you to miss the one time only events in your child's life.  you can never get that back -but you can live in a smaller house without new clothes and a TV.

Answer 7

hi there,

firstly congratulations on your baby!

The decision to leave your baby  in care (any kind of care) is very hard on parents especially mums.

It will always be hard to leave them even with people we trust.

Ask yourself why you feel so bad about it really break it down.

i was in a similar situation when my daughter was born and having worked with children and babies for so many years i have gone through 7 gyms and totally tore up the creche i thought nothing was good enough.

i spoke to my husband and together we worked out that

1) i didn't feel anyone could look after my child a well as i could

2) i was lucky enough not to go work so felt the sole responsibility of looking after her fell on me

3) i feel guilty doing anything good for myself

so i finally joined a gym went the first time for 30 Min's realised she was ok and that i felt great after working out again. I realised that the benefits of the time out and work out actually made me a better parent to my daughter and the sooner you do it the easier it Will get.

also leaving my husband to look after her while i went out for a walk or hot choc was a great training ground!

good luck hope it was of some help

x

Answer 8

Yes, with such a young baby, I would feel guilty too.  Babies were meant to be with their moms.  It's OK that you are leaving her, but it would be OK if you didn't leave her too.  If you want to stay with her, that's OK.  Don't let anyone pressure you into leaving her before you're ready.

I didn't leave my kids on a regular basis until they were 17 months and three years.  I had some trouble with that, too.  Of course, I had left them with sitters and family before that, but at that age, I started using an hourly care and preschool here where I live.  Now, no one feels bad about leaving.  The kids love preschool and I love my alone time.

Answer 9

Yes, that's why I don't leave mine. She's 16 months old now, and it's only very recently she's grown out of the need to have me around all the time. Daddy is now an acceptable substitute, so I'm gearing up for a weekend away. I desperately want some time before I have this baby. That's not until January, so I'll leave it a bit longer. Besides, Daddy thinks he's up to the job of full time parenting, but of course he's never tried. I think it would be very good for him to test out his theories!