I feel horrible!?

Question

O.K well my son's friend came over and they were cussing in his room and when I walked by and heard them. So I went into my son's room and bended him over my knee and spanked him like 4 times with my belt right in front of his friend and he was so emberessed!!! But he was saying F***!!!

And now he doesn't want to go back to school!!!

What do I do?

Answer 1

How old is ur child? I think maybe a walk in his room and a " get in the hall now" wouldve been ok. Then when you got in the hall a good swat on the butt, and making his friend go home wouldve been sufficient. Thats how I wouldve done it, but everybody chastises their children different.

Answer 2

With your belt? Christ, thats illegal where I live...

Anyway, that was a mistake on so many levels. Depending on his age, it probally doesn't matter if he's below 7... if he's like 13 or something though, you've ruined his life. I'm not being melodramatic. That child will have the whole school laughing at him day in and day out.

Move his schools if thats the case, and I am serious.

Answer 3

Ouch. Well you probably should've sent the friend home. Tell your son that he HAS to go to school, no matter what. I applaud you in spanking him. Alot of parents these days are too scared to even look at their kid wrong without the fear of going to jail. Kids need to learn respect and discipline. I got spanked and I turned out just fine. And I respected my parents for doing it, because I was doing something wrong to begin with

Answer 4

I can understand your point as a mother. But I think you may have over reacted a bit. You could have taken him out of the room and threatened him. How old is he? If he is like in Kindergarten or first grade then it will blow over. If he is any older than that it will take a long time for the kids to stop teasing him. The truth is he will have to get over it that is life and kids are brutal but I bet he'll never cuss again.

Answer 5

I hate it when situations like this aren't in the parenting rulebook.  Anyway, we all make parenting mistakes, and I think you've realized that the big mistake here was punishing your son in front of his friend.  If I had been in this situation, I would have entered the room and told my son's friend, "Billy, I think you need to go home now.  We don't use that kind of language in this house."  And then once Billy is gone, I would punish my son appropriately.  The best part of this approach is that it actually punishes the friend as well, so the next time the boys are together they will both think twice before cussing!

In your situation, what's done is done.  I would not apologize to your son, because at this point it's not a bad idea to let him think that the same thing will happen again if you hear him cussing. :)  But you have to make him go back to school, and once he does he'll find that his friend and other classmates will actually sympathize with him instead of laughing at him, because most of them have strict parents as well.  Then he'll be over it.

I think you're a good parent who cares about her son, not just because you don't want your son using vulgar language, but also because you realized you might have slipped up in your parenting technique, and you want to get advice on how to handle the situation better in the future.  Good for you!  Now, pick yourself up and move on. :)

Answer 6

YOU are the mother. As long as he is receiving free services such as food, clothing, housing, etc etc. You make the rules. And if you don't like what comes out of his mouth then it is up to YOU or whoever is in charge of the houshold to do something about. Big woop you spanked your son 4 times with a belt in front of his friends. I bet he won't be cursing no more i'll tell ya that much. Look, he's going to get over this. And in the long run, both of you guys are gonna reminance on that moment and laugh your asses off. All though it may not be funny now. It will be later.

Answer 7

How old is he?  You should have knocked on his door and told him to come out and then tell him to please not cuss so that it can be heard in the hallway. Kids do cuss, and do stuff that most parents will say--not my child- -- so what to do- have a heart to heart,  and give him a hug, before taking him to school--

Answer 8

Spanking is wrong. I should know..It screwed me up so bad... Well remember "bad words" are just words after all and there was no reason to do that in front of his friend. Emotional scars are 10x worse than physical and think of his social life.

Answer 9

You shouldn't have done it in front of his friend, but you disciplined him accordingly. Don't feel bad. He has to go back to school.

Answer 10

Lady, you have just committed child abuse! You should be ashamed of yourself! You should NEVER take a belt to a child!!

I wouldn't be surprised if your kid grew up to hate you. You should have been the responsible one and handled it the right way. Do you get a kick out of embarrassing and abusing your kid? Apparently so. Is this the first time you have taken a belt to him? I don't care how mad I get at my child, I will walk away before I pick up a belt. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Answer 11

Wow!  That was a mistake on so many levels.

But what's done is done.  Depending on his age, he may not understand what the word means and why he shouldn't say it.  If he is older, he was probably just being a kid and showing off, but there is a way to discipline him without humiliating him in front of his friend and beating him with a belt.

You should apologize to your son for losing your temper, and explain to him that the word he was saying was not a nice word for anyone to say, especially children.  Tell him that he is never to use that word again.