I feel like I'm cheating on my ex-boyfriend....what is this??

Question

I live with my current boyfriend- we've been living together for about three months. We've been together for just over a year and a half. I felt this awesome connection with him, a really special closeness and comfort and like-mindedness.

Anyways, up until recently I've been POSITIVE that I would marry him after college (right now he's 21 and I'm 20, so we're still pretty young here) I always joke with him about getting married someday, having babies, that sort of thing.

And up until recently I've been really happy. But then I started thinking about my ex-boyfriend, who I dated in high school. We hung out the other night with some friends.... I don't know if feelings from him are stirring up or if its just me missing days gone by?

I seriously cried myself to sleep last night, because I felt like, all of a sudden, like "Who am I, and what am I doing in this apartment?" I felt like I was cheating on my ex-boyfriend, my first love. But my current live-in boyfriend truly is wonderful. I am just so confused.

I feel awful. I feel guilty about all these doubts, all this confusion. I feel like I'm not sure of anything anymore. I feel sick to my stomach.

What should I do?

Answer 1

well how did u and ur ex break up?? but anyways i think ur going through a phase with ur old bf and hopefully soon it will pass. because ur talking about marring ur new bf and really want to spend the rest of ur life with him. but if it doesnt pass...u need to talk with ur current boyfriend and let him know whats going on so u dont hurt him as bad

Answer 2

well first of all think of the guy your with right now.  I am 20 and have been with my girlfriend for 3 years.  I would say shes my first love.  But you know if your ex had any intentions of getting back with you don't you think he would of by now.  Just think you would break your boyfriends heart too.  I think girls live in the past to much and not the present.  You need to just  put it behind you.  Besides if he really loved you don't you think it would show.  If your so happy why you worry about it.  What is done is done for a reason at least i always believed.  Good luck!!

Answer 3

Never destroy a good thing.

Answer 4

listen...

your not cheating on your ex.

and i think the thoughts yuo had for your ex that night was just you looking back on memories.

ask yourself...

are you happy with your current boyfriend?

are you ever going to wana be with anyone else?

if your first answer was yes...

and your second answer was no.

then stop worrying.

youve got a good thing going for you.

remember that.

Answer 5

its normal i did the same thing with my ex-girlfriend but i actually went through with the feelings for my ex and cheated on my then girlfriend now my current ex. it wasnt worth it. you regret it for a long time.

if you talk about marrying him then you must really like him. dont do this to urself you know that you love ur boyfriend. you said it urself the only reason you feel for ur ex is cause you think about the past and what goodtimes u had. but there must of been a reason why u broke up. dont think about the past, think about whats right in front of you and ur future.

Answer 6

You shouldn't move in and play house with someone when you are so young.  If you haven't sorted yourself out somewhat by now then you have no business living with someone that you claim you want to marry.  If you really feel like you can't live with him anymore then move out (don't break a lease though), and get yourself in order on your own.  

Answer 7

You broke up with your ex for a reason. Your new boyfriend is the one for you if you live with him. You need to stop thinking about your ex.  

Answer 8

wow, i totally know what you mean. I'm definitely a relationship type girl myself, and i am in a very strong one right now..and we talk about marraige and what not too

however my ex boyfriend did break my heart, i thought he was the one i was going to marry and thats gross to say because

im way more in love with my current boyfriend, but as i was reading this i put myself in your shoes  and honestly...dont go back. thats why its almost always a bad idea to hang out with an ex who you had strong feelings for, because im sure he has things that your current boyfriend lacks and vise versa. but i promise you...you broke up for a reason and you move on for a reason/ and maybe you dont realize it but if you are even thinking about marraige with your boyfriend then really..youve moved on. my best advice is just stop hanging out with your ex, it'll just complicate things..im sure you miss him and hanging with him brings back good memories but if you have something good going dont leave it cause you THINK something else is better

Answer 9

you are young and more than likely a tramp so do whatever you feel is needed

Answer 10

do what ur heart tells u. Either stay or go.

Answer 11

Honestly? I think if you're this upset about it that maybe you should go see a therapist. Even if you don't think you need therapy they are there to help people talk things out and it might help you to understand why you are feeling so upset. Usually if you are in college you can see a school psychiatrist for free so it couldn't hurt to check it out.  

Answer 12

Forget your ex. It's been a long time and more than likely it was just a strong wave of nostalgia. You saw each other and it's been awhile. You probably just miss the way things use to be and you miss the days you spent together. It happens to everyone. Don't worry about it and soon you'll notice it'll be pushed to the back of your head.

Answer 13

don't get married!!!!!

too young. you have years to decide. take a break and play the field

Answer 14

um...you can't have your cake and  eat it too. are you going to try to hang on to every man you meet? go home, m********e thinking about your ex, then you will be over it...promise

Answer 15

Your ex is and always will be an ex.  It's okay for you to think about him but don't go overboard and get confused.  You're with your boyfriend right now.  

Answer 16

Don't you worry! It is normal to have these feeling and I went through the exact same thing. However, thinking about it is all you should do. Do not act on it unless you are 1000% sure, which you don't sound like you are. It's normal to feel this way. Ask yourself if you could imagine your life without your current boyfriend..that helped alot

Answer 17

You're making yourself miserable.  Let go of the past! I'll bet your ex isn't crying himself to sleep.  Be thankful that you have  someone who loves you; and stop with all the marriage talk.  The two of you are way too young for that.  You've got a lot to do before you make a commitment of marriage and babies.  You're not finished educating yourself.  Who knows what the future holds for you?  The whole world is open to you.  You  can do anything you want.  Reach for the sky;  later on you'll be a better wife and mother.

Answer 18

well you already got stuff set up with this dude and that does suck but your old boy prolly is way over everything so thats tough. but you needa make up your mind who wants what you want in life. in the long run who r u going to b more happy with  

if you like this dude more then this other dude u needa let him kno  

Answer 19

First of all you need to realize you cannot bring the past up to reality. sure it sounds and looks good but you don't' know what this guy is really about and you know the one you love or at least you say you love. why can't that be enough i know you can't go back and if you do you may regret it. he (other guy( is a figment of your imagination and he probably doesn't care for you much and then you are thinking of all this romantic stuff with him and it could only be you and for how long with him a month two months or weeks. this is forever are ready for losing what you have to be with someone maybe a week or so and then maybe nothing. you haven't o figure out how you really feel but i know that going back tot he past isn't' the best idea in the world i know i have been there and its not the same feelings are not the same either.

Answer 20

RELAX.  You are probably not going to marry either of these people.  Or the next ten people you date.  If you like the person you are with, be with him.  There is a reason that you are not still with the other guy.  What ever happens with happen and in the end, you will be happy and with someone you love.  

Answer 21

You still have feelings for him - it could be a little or alot.You are just scared to admit it because you are with someone else.But it is okay :D , most people are like that espicially if they were really in love.You just need to take things slowly.Since your ex-boyfriend is your first love,to me,I personally wouldn't want to lose contact with him.

I'm not sure if i am much help,but I try ;]. Good luck with your current relationship :D