I feel like I am trapped , O god plz help me?

Question

I am a college student , I feel like I will lose my mental balance bcoz of all thats happening in my life , Being a student I am never satisfied with myself , & how can I be , one inner self of me asks for excellnce in excellence , a perfection , & myself I am unable to accomplish it , because I am a procrastinator , before the end of each semester , I feel like I will do it this time , It has already happened to me for last three years , but in vain , I cant maybe because of some deep rooted psychological problem , I mean a person would have already went mad had they been in my shoes , Its so depressing , & its makes me feel like I am good for nothing , I am currently studying in the second year of a three year degree exams , last year I performed nothing , My result was 50 % , this result further broke my confidence which was already broken , & now this year only a month left for the semesters & I ve done nothing , Really , U may say its all my faults & Its making me mad in the real sense , I never expected so low from me , 50% never suited me , I was always atleast first class in all my school days manytimes with distinction , I dont know maybe the early years of college were a curse on me ; I mean my condition is so pathetic , so miserable ; Its like one part of my inner being needs perfection , needs atleast 90 % in exams , but then because of all these barriers , I cant achieve it ,I am torn apart between my two selves ; I want to become something great in life , but then the creepy feeling that I am nothing now surrounds me ;IF ALL THESE THINGS DONT STOP NOW , IT WILL BE ENOUGH TO MAKE ME LOSE MY MENTAL STABILITY & MAKE ME GO MAD

Answer 1

Dude i feel the same way. I still feel the same way. AND IM ONLY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. You just need to calm down im sure i've had a lot more bad things in my life then you have. I have a lot of pressure too. Wow...Weird a 12 year old girl helping an 18+ year old....Anyways, find a way to get your mind off these things and take a breather. Eat something you've always wanted to eat. Do something you've always wanted to do and find a hobby that gets things off your mind ^-^ hope i've helped :3

Answer 2

I can relate to your story and feelings very well.  It is difficult for me to finish any kind of project and I really beat myself up for that.  I know that I'm capable of great things in life!  At 20, I began my own business and by age 25 was worth several million dollars, lived in a beautiful home, drove nice cars...and it still wasn't enough.

Since that time, I've been trough a horrid divorce from an extremely abusive husband, and lost every material thing...it has taken some time and some willingness to learn how to think and react in very different ways.

My suggestion to you is to develop a plan for your schooling.  Find a free 'how to write' business plan, tweak it to make it your business plan for school.  Start with the Long Range goals, such as Business CEO...then, break that down in to what needs to be done each year in order to fulfil your long range goal, then break that down into what you have to accomplish each quarter in order to reach your annual goal, which will, in turn, affect  your long range goal...then, break this process down by month, and then by week and finally by day.  

Set time aside each morning to reflect on your daily, weekly, and/or monthly list, write down your activities for the day that will ultimately assist you in reaching each of the higher level goals...

This process works, I know it does...I still work things out like that.  Then, you are able to change thought processes from this huge thing out there in the future somewhere that is overwhelming when you try to figure out how to get there without a plan or road map...after this exercise, you will be able to identify on a daily basis, the steps that you CAN take, just for today!

Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you need to take a deep breath and relax.  I'm an at home mum studying to be an accountant.  I do know where you are coming from.  I too only want the best grade and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself if I get anything less but then I remembered.  When you finish your studies it really doesn't matter how much you past by it only matters that you passed.  Yes people with better marks might get a job quicker but that isn't guarantied.  People aren't looking for the best student they are looking for the best for the job.  You should be so proud of yourself that you have accomplished so much already.  You have stuck at the work even though you are finding it hard.  Most people would have just given up.  A true test of character isn't if someone can finish things with ease it's when they keep on going even when they are struggling.  You are that strong person.  If you are struggling beyond the point of never being happy then maybe you should take a break for while and get into perspective who you are.  Just have a short holiday and then go back nice and fresh.  Sorry this is so long winded.  

Answer 4

You should stop worrying about your performance and put your energy into enjoying your classes. If you find you dont enjoy them maybe your problem is simply that need to readdress what you want in life.

I have found with going to college myself that I'll simply procrastinate doing the classes that I do not enjoy. But the ones I love I get the work done before its needed.  College should be about doing something you love to do. Grades mean nothing if your not enjoying it. They may not be a reflection on your abilities... but rather a reflection on your interest in the material.