I feel like I have no options! What should I do?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Recently, I was getting ready to leave him so I got a place but then we talked and I decided to stay with him. I didn’t tell him that I had gotten an apartment until about a month after we had gotten back together. He is very controlling and when I told him about the apartment he was upset because he said I had lied to him. I understood, but then he told me to close out my bank account and to put my money into our account. He has now also been bossing me around daily and will not give me an allowance any more! What should I do?

Answer 1

don't stay with him. believe me. my mom was married to a controlling guy. and of coursee,, it didn't work out. she divorced him. and now i have to deal with him controling ME! and there's nothing i can do. if you plan on having a kid, deffientleyy leave him. if your not gonna have one, and want a controled relationship, stay with himm. BUT IF I WERE YOUUU, I'D DUMPPP HIS ***.

Answer 2

You didn't lie to him, you are protecting yourself. DO NOT TRANSFER MONEY!  Move out and get away from this abuser. IF you stay with him you are looking at a lifetime of h**l.  

Answer 3

Ahhhhhh! LEAVE. Do not pass go...do not collect $200. (monopoly)...Girl what are you doing? Does this man hit you or hurt you in any other way? Please pack up your things...get your money back and leave...today. There is no need to talk to him or tell you where you are going...I hope you still have that apartment...and I hope that he doesn't know where it is. Good luck.

** oh...and if you can't get your money back...don't even worry about it. Chalk that up as a loss...and get a second job. Do not leave any reason to ever talk to this guy ever again. Get some one you trust and who cares about you involved. Let them know about what's going on so they can help you stay focused on getting your life back together.

Answer 4

Leave him fast! Open your own bank account and if you can take out the joint account what is yours. Then leave his sorry backside on his own. He is treating you like a child. You are old enough to have your own money and not to have someone tell you when you shoudl have it. You didn't lie to him about the apartment either - you just didn't tell him. Why should you? As far as you were concerned you were over. You to regain control over your life and stop letting this man bully you and control you. I cannot stand people like this thinking they can bully people and control them. Get a famly member or friend to help you move if you are scared of him.

Answer 5

What? Did you let him to control even your money? You have to undo this as soon as you can, then eave him without any sentence, because he will change your own intention again.  

Answer 6

You need to leave him and get some help. You are in a controlling relationship and the more you give to him the more he is going to take and the less options you are going to have. You are grown person you should not be given an allowance. Your first mistake was getting a joint account. Do not let him control your life you tried to walk away once and now you need to try again before things get more dangerous.

don't stay with him. believe me. my mom was married to a controlling guy. and of coursee,, it didn't work out. she divorced him. and now i have to deal with him controling ME! and there's nothing i can do. if you plan on having a kid, deffientleyy leave him. if your not gonna have one, and want a controled relationship, stay with himm. BUT IF I WERE YOUUU, I'D DUMPPP HIS ***.

if you feel like you have no identity other than being his girlfriend, then, take a stand. he cant close your account, he cant end your apartment contract. but he can shut you out of his life. what is more important for you? being in a relationship does not mean losing your identity as a person. if he doesnt encourage you but only controls you, that is probably why you left in the first place.

Leave him fast! Open your own bank account and if you can take out the joint account what is yours. Then leave his sorry backside on his own. He is treating you like a child. You are old enough to have your own money and not to have someone tell you when you shoudl have it. You didn't lie to him about the apartment either - you just didn't tell him. Why should you? As far as you were concerned you were over. You to regain control over your life and stop letting this man bully you and control you. I cannot stand people like this thinking they can bully people and control them. Get a famly member or friend to help you move if you are scared of him.

Answer 7

Be strong and leave this relationship.  You deserve better than this!  Talk to someone you trust and let them know your plans.  They can support you through all of this and they will remind you to believe in yourself.  You have been through something in your past that makes you believe that you don't deserve better than this relationship-don't believe that negative self-talk.  It will only lead you to trouble.  He knows that he is controlling you and he gains strength from that.  The most insecure people are the most controlling ones.  He is so unsure of himself that he has to put you down to make himself feel better and he is scared to be alone in his misery.  Please, please find someone you trust to talk to and help you out of this...it will only get worse.  Many blessings...

Answer 8

You need to leave him and get some help. You are in a controlling relationship and the more you give to him the more he is going to take and the less options you are going to have. You are grown person you should not be given an allowance. Your first mistake was getting a joint account. Do not let him control your life you tried to walk away once and now you need to try again before things get more dangerous.  

Answer 9

please get a grip on reality. You really just answered your own questions, didn't you? Reread what you asked and give yourself an honest answer. I once had someone tell me that i could cover and make excuses to everybody else all day long and make it sound truly convincing, but that if I listened to that voice deep inside me, that i could not and would not lie to myself. It's very hard to listen to that gut instinct when you have been listening to your heart for so long. Try it! try to stop and concentrate and listen and feel what that deep voice that been hidden is telling you and the answers to your questions will become obvious to even you. good luck. p.s. hope you have a good pair of running shoes, one day you're gonna need them.

Answer 10

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo NONONONONO

you transfer your salary back into your own account immediately. you get yourself another flat. you move out. You keep out.

Hun you have one life. ONE life. One chance is all you get. Please please don't waste anymore of yours feeling like a prisoner

Answer 11

Allowance? Sounds like he's trying to be your father. I'd go and get that apartment back. Don't share an account with him, it's just so he can see what you're spending. Leave him, do you want to live like this forever?

Answer 12

You should have moved out in the first place...Its only going to get worse.

Answer 13

if you feel like you have no identity other than being his girlfriend, then, take a stand.  he cant close your account, he cant end your apartment contract.  but he can shut you out of his life.  what is more important for you?  being in a relationship does not mean losing your identity as a person.  if he doesnt encourage you but only controls you, that is probably why you left in the first place.