I feel like I want to show people how valuble I am?

Question

I see myself as a person who's hidden in the shadows because it feels like anyone ever see and/or notices me. People always tend to forget my name, when I remember theirs. I am always left out when they do something fun. People always underestimates me and think they're superior to me even when they're not...

I think it's because I'm too nice to them and always let them win or go first. So my question is.. should I become aggressive like those people? Some of them always rub "Survival of the Fitest in my face, anyways.

Answer 1

You can try to be aggressive but I wouldn't recommend it. Eventually, how you feel will be completely visible in your personality after that. You will be upright bitter and annoying. I only say this because I had a friend in a similar position that tried that. If you continue with your current personality but pursue something along the lines of missions work or the peace corps, etc. you may find people more to your liking. Most people in our country are self-absorbed for various reasons. You're one in a million simply because people don't see how valuable you are and that's why you'll make a difference. They'll never see you coming :)

Al Pacino in the Devil's Advocate: "I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise, Kevin. They don't see me coming. That's what you're missing."

Answer 2

i think you don't exactly have to be like "those people"

if you're so miserable with the way people perceive you, then change their view of you... prove to them that you are better than how they see you as

before you get angry about people for the way they are treating you.. then you have to first evaluate yourself and see if maybe you are letting them do this to you  

Answer 3

You might consider becoming a hermit; then there'd be no one around to make you feel inferior.

Answer 4

so quit hiding on the internet and yahoo questions and get out and show the world who you are

Answer 5

First step is to get out of that shadow.  Make yourself feel visible.  Do not hide.  Hiding yourself is probably a cause to why people forget your names.

Yes... There are lots of people who think they're superior to other people.  What you need to do is become more confident about yourself.  Do not let that person think you are worse than him/her because it is not true.  Everybody is equal.  This will make you feel less vulnerable about yourself.  And perhaps, one day, when you're more confident about yourself, you can show them that you are just as good as them.  So do not hide in the shadow.  Show them what you've got.

But what I mean by show them what you've got is NOT to show it through agression.  Agression does not do you any good.  It can only harm you.  Agression does not solve problem. It will only make more problems.  It only shows your physical strength.  What you need to show is that you are confindent (i.e. stop hiding yourself).  Show them that you are not afraid of them.  When they're doing something fun, get out there and join them.

You think you're too nice? Well... I'd say that is good.  There is NEVER something wrong about being nice or too nice.  Being nice, compassionate and generous is greatest quality human beings can have and you've got it.  Do not let them take it away from you by turning you agressive.  Remain calm.  Becoming agressive will only show your weakness.  What you should do is stay nice but learn to be nice and strong.  Do not let them win or go first.  Be nice but don't let them advantage of you.  Be nice but learn to say no.  Don't let them bring you down.  You can be nice but you've got to have a limit.  Don't let them get too far.

I've been in your position and I understand it well.  But trust me, agression does not help.  It only shows your weakness.  If you get agressive, they will be satisfied and they will want more and more, because they know it hurts you enough to change you.  But if you remain calm and be nice, they will eventually stop because they'll think that they can't bring you down.  Just ignore them and stay cool.  Get out of the shadow.  Be strong (but NOT agressive).

Good luck.

Answer 6

The most important thing in living a life is 'be yourself'. Be nice, is not because you need to be nice, to impress people. It's because you have to be nice, because you are nice. Relax and enjoy life for a lot more! Be happy :)

Answer 7

I am a little on the fence about what you should do.  

Part of me wants or thinks you should totally just open yourself up to these people and show they what an Awesome person you are.  However, these people don't sound like the greatest, or most considerate, in which they may not be able to handle the person you are. And would therefore do anything mean to push you back down to their level.  That is why I also lean a bit to the other side that says forget those people. You do not need them, and do not need to prove your worth to people who don't even remember your name.  

Thanks for reading!

Answer 8

There are many people who think nice guy wins, but that is only the case in fairy tales, not in reality, well most of the time. An aggressive person who do anything to win and stump others are valued in our society. People will "know" their position and will not mess with you nor will they underestimate your capabilities. They will try to demean themselves for the sake of looking like an "eye-candy" for you just to avoid possible consequences.  

Answer 9

No. Don't do that. You might read a small paperback called "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Predicament solved!

Answer 10

"Insist on yourself. Never imitate." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I believe this sums up everything. But in just in case.....

Be yourself, because it really doesn't matter what other think about you. I am not saying to be belligerent or obnoxious, but just be true to your nature. I don't believe one can be too nice. Life is all about helping each other out.

People that act superior usually are the ones with self-esteem issues. To me it sounds more like you are socializing with the wrong people. Find people that are more like you and that will encourage you. They are out there....

Joining the herd is NOT the answer - Make your own herd! Be a leader, not a follower. Develop your own voice and let yourself be your guide.