I feel like a bad mom?

Question

My children are ages almost 4, almost 3, and almost one. All of thier birthdays are in Sept and Oct. Once in a while my kids give me a really hard time where they just misbehave and disobey all day long depite time outs, raising my voice, etc. Yesterday was one of those days. I took my kids to the park yesterday and on my way out my 3 year old daughter took off on me and hid while I was talking to someone on our way out to the car. When I looked up she was gone. I was terrified! I called for her, but she didn't come, and my heart raced with panic and fear. Finally, she came out of hiding. I yelled at her, as she is notorious for being a runner. So once we get home, she continued to not do as told, she hit her brother on the head with a rock on purpose, and was generally miserable. To top off the day, she pooped her pants. Right in front of me. She said she had to go potty, but couldn't get the door open. Instead of asking me for help she just stood at the door and pooped. She's been potty trained for almost a year, and has only had an accident once or twice. I was so frustrated by the day, that I marched her to the bathroom, yelled at her, and then spanked her twice on the butt. I DEEPLY regret having done that. I have never spanked before. I didn't do it for dicipline, I did it because I was upset by the culmination of of everything that had happened. I taught her a lesson that I didn't want to teach her. I wanted her to know that it was ok to have an accident once in a while, but what I was angry about was that she didn't ask me for help. What she got out of it, was that I was upset she pooped her pants and I spanked her for it. I feel so terrible. For the most part, I think I'm a very loving, consistent parent, and yesterday, I didn't feel like either. Should I feel this guilty for having having spanked my little girl? Do you think she will forgive me? I wish I could take it back, and I'll never do it again.

Answer 1

Aaawwww, I just want to give you a big hug and make it all better :)

You acted in the heat of the moment... it doesn't make you a bad mum.

She will forgive you... just sit her down and tell her that yes... you were angry but it was the wrong way to show your anger.

Don't feel too bad :)

Answer 2

she has forgotten it already,and so must you

Answer 3

She won't even remember it. And she should had her butt spanked! God only knows what could had happened to her!

Feel bad for what? Protecting and correcting your child's behavior?

Answer 4

Though she is a young child, she'll still feel as if she did something wrong. Talk to her and tell her what you did was wrong, and you're sorry, but next time you'd like it if she would ask for help. You're not a bad mother. Sometimes people just have off days. Just make sure your daughter knows that you shouldn't have done that and that you're sorry.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Your daughter is a little smarter than you give her credit for. I'm sure she is aware that she was being an ill behaved little girl. It sounds to me like she was pushing your buttons all day on purpose, and deserved a spanking from the get go. I think that when a child knows they have been bad they know they deserve punishment. Its not like you spanked her because you had a bad day at work, you spanked her because she needed it. No I don't think you are a bad mom at all, I think you are over analyzing this too much.

Answer 6

don't feel bad we all make mistakes just tell ur daughter that u didn't mean to smack her u were just upset that she had pooped i usually have these days every few days with my kids and end up sitting in the bathroom for a few seconds 2 calm down all kids soon forget that u smack or shout at them so i wouldn't worry 2 much about her remembering it

Answer 7

Personally, I think allot of moms make your mistake. But I think the question here is not whether you should feel guilty (you do), but what are you going to do about it? Your kids are misbehaving very badly, and you see clearly spanking isn't the way to go about things, so what now? I beleive your daughter will forgive you, but don't bribe her or feed her bad behavior. Trying  to make them understand what they've done wrong and why is going to help you out. Don't worry to much. Everyone makes mistakes.  

Answer 8

First of all, Children are very forgiving. I'm sure she will forigive you. She loves you!!

Secondly, you are not the only mom to spank out of frustration. I am happy that you spanked her on the bum at least. With three children in that age range, I can only imagine how hard it must be on you.

Feeling guilty is just a sign that you truly love your children. If you didn't feel guilty it would be different. But feeling guilty means that inside you want to strive to be better next time. And that is good. Every experience in life (good or bad) is a learning experience. This time, you have learned to keep your frustrations in check, and you will know a better way to discipline your child next time. But please don't beat yourself up about it. If nothing else, your child will now know that her Mom has a limit, and she may be more mindful now not to exceed that limit. You are a good mom, and your children love you! Just remember that!

Answer 9

aww, sweetie! it sounds to me like you are a good mother. sometimes our anger can get the best of us! you obviously know it was wrong and realize it was out of your own anger. tell her you are sorry , that even though she was wrong, you handled it the wrong way, and you love her. she will forgive you. next time she wants to go to the park..maybe you can explain about her behavior last time(find a babysitter if possible) and just take the other kids making her stay home..or if no babysitter then just say no. and maybe on a day like that take her favorite toys out of her room then make her stay there alone...just make sure you explain why.  i only have one child  god bless you for taking care of 3 little ones! stop beating yourself up

Answer 10

Sit down all of your kids, even the one year old.  Ask them all what they did wrong (except the one year old).  Then after they had their turns ask them what your one year old did wrong and let them both tell their memories and stories of him of yesterday.  Then you tell your story of how you were wrong with yelling and spanking, etc.  Then you say to make you all feel better that you'd like for all of you to do something at home.  Ask them what activity they would like to do in a couple of hours.  Set the timer and let them know they have to all be good to do the activity.  About 15 min before the timer goes, get it all ready and even let them help.  When the timer goes off, start the activity, whether it's paining, playing, reading.  Give the activity about 1/2 hour to 1 hour.  Bonding as a family after a rough day really helps the kids.