I feel like giving up because I'm losing hope, and only she can help ... ?

Question

I'm a 20 year old college student, who has had a very painful past. (In short, I was abused, raped, I've attempted suicide a few times and I cut) I have a really hard time trusting people in the past (friends, family, mental health professionals etc.) but last year, for the first time, I met someone who I felt I could trust. She was a teacher in one of my courses. She helped me a lot, and offered to listen if I needed someone to talk to. At the moment, she's no longer my teacher, but I still really want to take her up on that offer to talk. We talk a little in the hallways at school, and via e-mail about random things, but I'd like to talk to her the way I did last year (when she offered to listen if I needed someone). I just don't know how to approach her about it, is it weird/wrong/awkward for me to re-bring this up now? I've tried little things to try to get her to initiate a "non-random" conversation but they haven't worked. I really feel like talking to her is the best thing for me, but I just don't know how to do it... please someone help... I'm not doing well right now, and really need to talk to her... I just don't know what to do...

(By the Way, I am seeing both a counsellor and a psychiatrist for professional help, however it is not that I am seeking from my teacher)

Answer 1

If I were in your shoes, the next time I saw her I would ask her, "Hey, last year you mentioned I could speak with you if I needed someone to talk to.  I was doing okay for a while, but lately I have been needing to talk and our conversations last year were very helpful.  Is it still okay if I talk with you about things that bother me?  I understand if the offer no longer stands, but I thought I'd ask all the same."  If she made this offer once before, I believe she was genuine in doing so.  However, it is not wrong to make the first step (or necessary steps) in seeking the help that you need.  I don't think she will refuse to listen.  Just knowing and recognizing that you do need to speak with someone is commendable.  

Best of luck!

Answer 2

I agree with Sonia.  Say somethings like"Do you remember last year when you said you'd listen.

Well, I could really use your advise, could we meet for coffee? (or lunch or whatever)  If she was willing last year, she surely still is.  Wishing you happiness and good luck in school.

Answer 3

You are swimming in despair and are trying to claw at anything trying not to go under, this is what that teacher represents, a floating device, If she has been kind to you chances are you can contact her again and ask for her advise, however eventually the friendship will end because like all relationships it would take two in a give and take kind of deal to have that relationship grow, even the kindness counselor eventually loose patience and move away from the damsel in distress when he or she drains her.

This will sound a bit cruel but I am just being honest, YES you have had a terrible past but you can not live there, you must move on, like is not about remembering the pain of the past or being paralized in the fear for the future but enjoying the NOW.

YOU and only YOU are responsible for your own happiness, YOU have to change yourself FIRST, no one can do anything for you if you don't provide that to yourself before anyone, if you keep doing what you did you will continue to get what you got! I suggest finding comfort in spirituality, not religious based but the true inner love that we brought to the world and which helps us grow, start by giving thanks every single morning for what you have an enjoy instead of remembering what you lack or wish you had, instead of thinking how terrible it is that youa re alone, say THANK GOD I KNOW MY SOUL THROUGH SOLITUDE, instead of thinking how horrible you past has been think; THANK GOD I HAVE SURVIVED AND MOVED ON AND LEARNED FROM DIFFICULT SITUATIONS, instead of Complaining because you did not get what you wanted thank God for the oportunity to try to reach your goals each and every day, find joy in little things, learn to listen to your own heartbeat, surrowun yourself with things that comfort you and banish anything that invoques pain or sadness, read! learn from the true masters, as you discover your soul and your heart you will begin to understand the reasons behind every single thing in your life! God bless.

www.myspace.com/PuraRosa

Answer 4

Im cooking spaghetti over here tonight. I invite you to come over and eat as much as you like! for free! that will cheer you up for sure!

Answer 5

Try to step outside yourself for a moment and read your question. Ok, now try to let go of your own pre formed opinions on same s*x attraction and relationships. Re-read the question, I think you will find the answer, be gentle with yourself and talk to your therapist.

Answer 6

Either meet her after a class and ask her, or just ask her in the halls. If she offered, then it's probably still an open invitation.

Just say, "If you don't mind, I'd like to talk with you about some important things" or something along those lines.

Answer 7

Just tell her that you need a friend in your next e-mail, or when you see her ask if she has some extra time to talk... she sounds like she may be busy and needs to be made aware you need her. An offer of help is not on a time basis in most cases. She offered because she cares. Now let her know you care, by allowing her to be there for you. God bless you.

                                               Joni