I feel like i don't love my 2 year old?

Question

is this normal? what can i do? i can't bond with her like i want to

Answer 1

what the h**l is wrong with you ?

how can you not love your own daughter

if u don't love her put her up for adoption

and find somebody that will  

Answer 2

What the h**l is wrong with you?...ummmm maybe your just not happy with yourself or someone else...if your a young mom that could be a reason too.

Answer 3

i dont know but i do know that u will get closer to her and thats a fact. all girls go through times were they need there mom and that time will come for u. she will notice how much ur caring for her and helping her and u will lean to love each other. its ok all mothers go through that. just try and use all the time u can to spend so time with her. read her books. do a puzzel. play with dolls? she will enjoy it and u 2 will bond

Answer 4

OMG! You need help BAD! If you can't "bond" with her as you say, you need to give custody to someone you can. I can not believe you would even say something like that,. If you are having mental problems, you need to seek help soon. That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. You gave birth to this child, she grew inside you, how could you question that love? That is an enternal love, it doesn't go away. And as far as bonding..what..You and her are mother and daughter, you love her, play with her, take the best care of her, and protect her. That is called being a mother, and if you can't do the job, give her to someone who will. Ugghh, you should be ashamed of yourself for even having those thoughts. Get help please. For your child's sake. That will prove you love her.

Answer 5

No, its not normal.You are a bad mom.Hey,nobody's perfect!Thank goodness for the underground children black market.You can probably get 10 or 20 grand for your un-loved child.CHA-CHING!  

Answer 6

It's so hard to say bc we don't know you and your situation but if you were incapable for two years of caring for her, then are you absolutely sure you are capable now???  If you are very sick it may be impossible to give a 2 year old the care they need.  Toddlers require so much love and attention.  sounds to me you are experiencing depression and exhaustion.  Sometimes as a coping mechanism to fear or illnesses our minds and bodies lead us to feel numb.   So in order to deal with the pain you also have hard time experiencing the love and joy when it comes around.  Remember though, How you treat her during these formative years affects who she will become so please even if you have to push yourself, work hard to create a stronger bond with her.   In time it will come but not without the effort.  If you have to  fake silly smiles, singing, reading, rocking, hugging, just do it for her sake.  She senses your negative cues and you both need time to adjust to one another.  Please  talk to a doctor ASAP  and get some  help.  The stage you are at right now in your life is temporary.  Give it your best so you have no regrets.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  

Answer 7

Well is their a reason? Was she not planned? Or anything. When you look at her you should see a part of your self espically being a girl so you should want that mother daughter bond. Do you not like/love her father? If there is any resentment toward her because of the father just let that go its not fair to her. You need to look deep inside your self and find why you feel like you do, it could still be post partim depression. Everything will work out if you want it to

Answer 8

did you always have this issue with your baby or did this just come about?  I would suggest you get some counceling to figure out what the problem is.  I knwo toddlers can be irritating and frustrtating but if you feel like you dont love your child then there is deeper issues that needs to be  taken care of.  I would get HELP IMMEDIATELY!

Answer 9

See a psychologist or mental services in your area, maybe something is wrong with you.  Ask someone close to you to help you.  

Answer 10

HOPEFULLY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A PHASE AND YOU WILL GET OVER IT HOWEVER DO NOT DO WANT THE SECOND PERSON SAID AND HAVE A ADOPTION!!

Answer 11

Perhaps you may have post-pardon depression?

It's more common then you think.

Answer 12

Have you never bonded with her? Is she your first child? Sometimes parents do not bond with children equally. I am not sure there is much you can do about it. I had difficulty bonding with my second child until she got older, so maybe it will come later.

Answer 13

sounds like you may have little depression going on. You may want to find someone to talk to about your feelings.  Also don't listen to the ones that could hurt your feelings about this. Its not your fault. Good Luck and it will get better!

Answer 14

Hi, can you give a bit more information on your question, like why do you say that you don't feel that you love her...can you be a bit more specific please?  

Answer 15

Are you young? Maybe you resent your child because you feel like you are missing out on doing what other people your age are doing. Do you have a good relationship wih her father? Maybe that could have a bearing on it if you dont love him.

Dont worry too much. Those feelings will come in time. I had my child when I was 17 and I had a very hard time adjusting to motherhood. I worried the same way as you.

Try to enjoy your child. Children truly are a blessing. You will realize it one day. They grow up very fast, so try to enjoy each and every day with her. There will be good days and bad days, but just remember that motherhood is a wonderful priveledge.

Answer 16

well its pretty hard to have a bond with them at that age since you cant communicate or anything. some people are just not the loving type(like me)you probably do you just don't realize it. after living with them with hopefully less then 18 years im sure you will eventually love them very much.

Answer 17

You didn't provide much detail, but it is common to have complicated or confusing feelings about your own child. I would strongly recommend seeking counseling as there is the possibility of Post-Partum  Depression- a very serious and common disorder that can affect moms even long after the child is born.

I would also recommend getting involved with other new mothers for support groups and activities. You'll learn with them that you are not alone in any of the feelings you have.

Best of luck to you.  

Answer 18

No, this is not normal. I fell in love with my babies before they were even born. I have never had a single doubt. If you don't love your child, please give her parents who will.  

Answer 19

Is she misbehaving? Because I remember when my son was around this age I felt almost like the magic of being a mom was gone.. To bond with her you might have to drop house work, internet, everything you can and play with her.. get to know her better.

In this case the more time you spend together (even if you have to make yourself do it) the more you will bond

Answer 20

You are loving your 2 year old child, thats why you are worrying to  know whether you are loving her/him or not.

Only thing you need to do is spend more time with your child and feel that she/he is from you with your blood and genes..

Answer 21

I mean its normal to get angry or fustrated wit ur 2 yr. old but all mothers must love dere children Mayb u could spend mor time wit her go places read her bed time stories and u no do sum stuff she likes and do sum stuf u like 2gether and erythang will b gud. I mean we no u love her u jus need sum time to get ery thing straightend out  

Answer 22

aww that's sad.

you're probably just spending too much time to yourself or being selfish. no offence. are you like, a teen mother?

this is abnormal.  maybe somethings bothering you to be like this so you better resolve it.

Answer 23

Just relax, it may take some time - it's okay and you may want to see a therapist if you are worried about it.

Answer 24

My mother never loved me...and I hated her for it.  

Later...after a huge fight I come to find out that the whole reason she never loved me was because she was jealous of how easy "girliness" came to me.  (Her words not mine)

She kept me at a distance because she felt we didn't have anything in common.

Your daughter is 2 years old.....You SHOULDN'T have anything in common. That comes later.

If you honestly think you don't love her....you should look at yourself. Our children are a reflection of ourselves ..and at 2 yrs old...she is nothing more then a mirror upon yourself.

Perhaps you should ask what it is that you hate about yourself..and stop punishing your daughter.   You might want to seek professional help.

Answer 25

I would talk to someone about post-partum depression. Sometimes that can keep you from bonding. Many women assume they don't have it just because they aren't thinking about suicide or killing their kids like some very well publicized cases. But it's very real and it can have long-reaching consequences.

Also, consider if you are overwhelmed with life in general. If you are stressed, overworked, not getting support from the father or your family, etc., it can take a toll on your relationships, even those with your children.

If you're just frustrated because your two-year-old is a brat, then just grit your teeth and sit tight and realize that it will end eventually. Kids at that age are very trying because that's the age when they figure out how to push your buttons. It may help to talk to someone about disciplining your child to cut down on the tantrums and "NO!" that are the trademarks of that age group.

Any of these three reasons can affect your relationship with everyone, not just your child. Talk it out with someone qualified and figure it out before any lasting damage to the relationship is done. I think you love your daughter, you just can't cope with whatever situation you happen to be in right now.

Answer 26

Wow, it's interesting to see how people can instantly judge you when they don't even know you, your situation or your current state of health.  

The one thing that gives me GREAT hope for you is that you are asking for help.  You realize you may have a problem and are looking for some direction how to fix it.  That in itself says you love your daughter.  Sounds like your suffering from a bout of depression, be it postpartum or what.  It's not that you don't love her, you just don't have that "closeness" with her.  Your first step now is to seek counselling or maybe even talk to your doctor, he/she can point you in the right direction and maybe even get you a referral to the right kind of help.  Maybe your current pregnancy has your hormones so unbalanced that's what causing some of your troubles.

I worried for the first 6 months or so if my daughter and I would bond.  I loved/love her more than life itself, but it was no doubt a concern for me.  Once she got to the age where she could start to "show" that bond she felt with me, all doubts and concerns were gone.  Now I think we're TOO bonded, practically at the hip (she'll be 3 in a week)  she never wants to do anything with ANYONE else (dad, nana etc....) except other kids.

just relax, take care of her and get yourself some help.  I'm sure everything will be fine but it will take some time and it will be a bumpy ride.  this doesn't make you a bad person, you just have some problems that need working out.  

Answer 27

The terrible twos, they are into everything, try to play a game with her keep her busy.

Answer 28

You need to figure out just what it is that is causing you to feel this way. Why do you feel as though you can't bond with her?

Obviously you love her otherwise your feelings of not loving her wouldn't worry you

Maybe you are experiencing some type of post-partum thing?

The age of 2 (toddler ages) is one in its own. It is when a child tries to claim themselves, discovers themselves, it is when a child first learns who they are. People say that adolesence is hard - this is next to it!!

Be patient. If you feel this way at an overwhelming state then I would se professional help.

Answer 29

I believe you love her/him more than you think. It really sounds like post par-tum depression. You should really see a therapist and make sure you have some help and time for yourself once in awhile as raising a child isn't easy.

Answer 30

If you want so bad to love her, then you probably do, so i wouldnt doubt your affection so much.

Take her to the park or the beach

but preferably be alone together.

2 year olds just want to play, so play with her.

Answer 31

Don't try so hard...

My guess is you are extremely stressed out... and you need spend some time with her when you feel relaxed and open...

Try putting on some music.. that you can sing to or dance to with her...

Pay attention to what makes her smile.. and roll with it...

Love is something you can't control, and it comes naturally so dont try to force it... just play the motherly roll or nurturing and protecting the rest should fall into place...

Just remember a child is an individual... and have their own wants and needs... just try to learn who they are.