I feel like i dont fit in ?

Question

It really dissapoints me that we as g*y men want to all look the same. For example I am so sick of the weight issue it seems like being heavy means you are worthless(I am so tired of that) I am not that heavy and if i was there wouldint be anything wrong witth that its genetic just like being g*y. But I was told by other g*y men that if i want to be attractive I need be thin and eat less. And when you look in the various magazines for g*y men they all look the same blonde short haired and skinny, that is subjective weather you find that attractive and those magazines i feel dont reprsent me at all. Its hard enough to be g*y and be perscuted by others but it's terrible when other people of the same group are perscuting you.

Answer 1

Discrimination against over-weight people is not an exclusively g*y issue ! MANY straight WOMEN would say the same thing !   & I don't think it's "almost nazism" !! Nobody's marching U into a slave labor camp 2 work U 2 death !!!

Answer 2

Stop beating yourself up. It's complete rubbish that to be g*y and attractive you need to have short blonde hair and be slim! To be quite honest there is no typical g*y man image. Ok, most of them are clean-cut and goodlooking, but there's no proper size or image to follow. It's the same as lesbianism. I might have long blonde hair and dress feminine but not all lesbians are like that. We're all individuals and our own person. If you're not yourself, then you're lying to yourself and others.

Those who tell you you have to conform to a particular look are not people you should associate yourself with or be friends with. They are small-minded. Be yourself and others will love you for it.

Answer 3

i'm a female and i'm straight, but it sucks that they have one image for everything.

I think the main reason for the blond thin g*y guys is because of Jessica Simpson's hair dresser is that, so then they all think that? idk?

They half to lable and categorize everything and if you don't look it or act it you're not it, and if you try then you're labled a poser.

Its like a lose/lose situation, but i try not to let that stuff bother me, and just think to myself, i am who i am and that should be enough, if you don't like me for the real me tough ****, because i ain't changing. There's someone out there that will like me for me and nothing more or less.

Be yourself, trust me someone will admire you for it, they probably won't tell you, but they'll admire you for not trying to be like everyone else.

Answer 4

Thankfully I was born thin as a pin

Answer 5

Don't let someone's point of view affect how you see you

If you keep listening to all that s***t you don't agree with you start to question yourself and end up losing self-respect

I'm not g*y myself but I respect anyone who aren't afraid to express themselves the way they want to

Answer 6

Just be your self. Just remember no every one is a model. I am thin but I like a little meat on a man.

Answer 7

be yourself! dont go by a fad or anything! go by your own style, who knows? maybe your style is the next in cloths!

Answer 8

its tough

Answer 9

ok, people expect you to look a certain way whether you're g*y or not, you should ignore people who tell you to change your look because someday you'll find a person who likes you for you

Answer 10

First off, STOP READING those magazines. I would recommend the same thing to women too. The fact of the matter is the media, g*y and straight alike, try to push unrealistic images of beauty at the public.  This in turn, makes people feel inferior, as though they have to reach some unattainable level of attractiveness - which is often doctored in Photoshop to begin with!

Even celebrities can't escape having their own images changed by publishers. Case in point: Have you seen Kate Hudson on the latest cover of W? The image is a rip-off of another photog's work, and the actress is UNRECOGNIZABLE due to the Photoshop handy work of W's graphic artists.

She's a very attractive woman, yet she STILL didn't fit the image the magazine was going for; no matter how attractive you are, there's always someone more attractive, which makes the pursuit of beauty an exercise in futility.

Don't try to be something or someone you're not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and with that said, you may as well be happier being inside your own skin, rather than one of someone else's creation. People will like you regardless if you just be yourself, with your own sense of style. They may even like and respect you BECAUSE you're not cookie-cutter "perfect".

And remember, as my great grandma used to say:

"Pretty IS as pretty DOES."

Answer 11

OMG I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.

For a g*y guy myself it feels like I'm way to small and not muscular enough and it makes me feel so inept.

You'd think that for a group/community that gets so much **** they'd try not to spread it. That's partially why i think the whole PRIDE thing is dumb.

Honestly forget what the magazines think, what the media thinks, and how even our own little corner of the world thinks. Be you. I'll do it too!

I don't buy into the image thing either, ya know why? Cause i like diversity, and quite frankly i don't think a lot of those guys in magazines are attractive anyway. So yeah be you and I'll do it. I'm sure everyone g*y or STRAIGHT feels this way.

P.S. No you don't fit in, but that's a great thing. It means you actually have a personality and intelligence.

Answer 12

First of all, your not alone. I'm g*y, and although not in the same situation as you (being heavy), i know EXACTlY what you mean. We all have problems with things like that. And we all have problems with our image, g*y or straight. I'm still "in the closet" so no one knows I'm g*y. So yeah I go around living a lie and making people think I'm straight and you better believe I sure as h**l don't feel like i fit in. It's pretty easy to adjust your image to meet the criteria of others. But, then do they really like you for you or just your perfect look?? I know it sucks. And, its tempting and hard. Look at me. I know exactly what I'm doing by keeping this a secret and how much trouble and pain its caused me but i still do it. I know that sounds hypocritical but  i just wanna show you the kinda thing you don't to do.

And g*y people of all people should know what its like to not feel "normal" and like you fit in! It makes me really sad to know that your going through that and its because of people who should be much more sympathetic to your situation having been through it themselves a few times. I know its hard because for the most part we arent really accepted by non-g**s. So when you start feeling left out of the g*y crow where can you turn? Well, i know that sounds bad and doesn't really help but here's somthing i hope will. Forget about what they think. Easier said then done, i know. But, don't change to have others accept you. Don't live a lie if you don't have to. You will only regret it and it won't be any better. if you wanna change, in your case loose weight, do it for YOU and YOU ONLY! If you don't want to or you don't feel you can right now then DON't! If they don't like you for who you are, then they won't really like you no matter what you look like or how you act. Believe me. You can't go around worrying about what others think of you beacuse as you know, it just sucks and its really just torturing youself. Don't give up. Someday you will find somone who likes you for who you are. And they are the only people worth caring about. Trust me. I know it's hard but take it one step at a time until you can finnaly get to know yourself and be comfortable with YOU just as you are. It's not your fault you are who/what you are. So you have to learn to live with it and love it or you'll never be happy in life. If it helps, im on the same road as you and i have a long way to go. So you are not alone. If you need somone to talk to, who WON'T judge you, and give you an honest, unbiased opinion. email me at [e-mail]   I'd be more that happy to help you out with anything else!

Answer 13

First of all, does everyone look like the people in magazine's?   Does everyone look as hot as Ryk Neethling or Brad Pitt or some other celeb hotties?  Of course not!!  Haha! Don't worry about that stuff!  

Society is very different to the people you see and gossip you hear in tabloids.  Just be yourself.  I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to date someone because they were the perfect stereotype, but because they always act themselves!  Just be yourself and don't change because of people you see in mags.  Go make a name for yourself.

Answer 14

Yeah that bugs me too, where if you're a girl you have to be like model skinny. Just ignore it. No one should have to change themselves to fit in and I'm not going to let stupid magazines or anything make me feel like I should.

Besides magazines represent a very small portion of the population. Not everyone has a six pack and blonde hair. Be happy with who you are and don't let others put you down.