I feel like i wont get to see him as much as i would like to... what should i do?

Question

My recently engaged fiancee and myself, have been looking for new jobs. Him cause he wants more money asnd me just cause i HATE mine. I feel so happy that he got another job but i feel like i wont see him. He is the Only one i have and when im not around him i feel totally insecure and unprotected no matter how bad that made me sound. He wanted a job to help pay for debts and bills and c**p like anyone else, but now he has one. i was also told that he will only be making 60 cents less then me to start and in thirty days he could be makin more. that shouldnt matter but its like how come i had to start at 7 sumthin and you get 8 sumthin right away. What do i do. i feel crappy all cause i feel like i wont get to see him... and if i dont see him im going to end up at one of my old friends or x friends houses sitting on the couch watching them play guitar hero or some war game... HELP !

Answer 1

Who care who makes what money?  This is suppose to be a team effort.  And unless you are in business together, then yes, you go to your job & he goes to his and in the evening your time is precious together.  It's what's called living. If you are that insecure you need counseling.  There are free agencies in your community.

Answer 2

When you say "7 sumthin", do you mean dollars an hour? If so, that's a bad way to start a marriage. If you have debts, and that's all you are earning, it's just not good. Go back to school, get a career started, then think about marriage.

Answer 3

Girl you need to learn some independance! I don't fully understand why you won't see him as much as before. Is he moving somewhere else? And why are you mad that he wanted a higher paying job and went out and found one to help support you in the future? And why do you think you'll end up with an X boyfriend? If you love this man, and really want to ma rry him, you will stick with him and support him through anything. I'm sure it will all be alright.

Answer 4

You write:  I feel like i wont get to see him as much as i would like to... what should i do?

Get a life.  Seriously, work on your own life.  Develop your own interests and hobbies and friendships.  Have things you can do that are separate from him.

Not to be harsh, but the guy has to work.  So you work too . . . and develop some interests and hobbies of your own.  Take a class.  Join a gym.  Learn a new hobby.  Get busy, woman!  

Don't be going around sounding all whiny and dependent!  That is SO unattractive.  Get busy with your life.  Develop and educate yourself.  Be strong and vibrant and independent.  Now THAT is attractive.

And I cannot stress it enough . . . education!  Do you want to make $8 an hour all your life?  Get in school and get a career.  Be able to support yourself without a man if necessary.  Death, disaster, and divorce happen all too often . . . and one never knows when they will occur.  So get busy!

All right . . . that is my mom pep talk for today!  Bye for now.

(Sorry, Cat.  Don't mean to sound harsh.  I just get carried away with being a mom sometimes.  Take care of you . . . and make you the best you that you can be.)

Answer 5

Not sure why you won't be able to see him as often.....did he move to another town?  Did he used to work at your place of employment?

Nevertheless; what concerns me more is your panic about being away from him and feeling so insecure and unprotected.  It's wonderful to have a relationship with someone, but not to the point of being psychologically dependent on the other person. . . that's not fair to you or him.

Please review the article on the attached link to determine if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy.

Answer 6

you sound like a needy, dependent, empty woman.  I hope your bf discovers that soon and leaves you for someone who is not so insecure and needy.  I hope you are good with s*x, because you don't sound like you have much else going on in your head, nor in your soul.

Answer 7

I think you need to see a counselor who can help you work through your resentment and insecurity issues. I used to make a little more than my fiance', now he has a better job with full benefits, and great pay. I don't mind, because I don't see it as a contest. I don't get to see him or talk to him whenever I like, but we are two different people with two different lives who love each other and will marry next year. It's important to remember that although you and your fiance' are a team, you are also individuals.