I feel like my instructor doesn't like me?

Question

I've been taking riding lessons from this instructor for about a year now, and it just seems like we never clicked. I always feel like I'm annoying her if I ask her how the weekend show went or something..but she compliments me on my riding and stuff though..I don't know, maybe I just feel like this because I was good friends with my other instructor, and I know we're supposed to have professional relationships and everything, but do you think she's just not very social? Or she doesn't like me? And please don't say go find a frendlier instructor because she is amazing and I'll never leave this stable..but how can I get us to "click" so its not awkward when I ask her something?

Answer 1

if you are paying her for lessons/help with your horse, what does it matter if she likes you? not everyone in life is going to click with you, and you cant really take it that personally*(you'll end up in the looney bin if ya do)*.  if she's good at what she does and you like her teaching style, then why does it matter if she likes you/is your friend, you're paying her for lessons, not to be your friend.

edit: my trainers were nice to me, but there is only one that today(10-13 years later i still talk to and call a friend/look up to her, all the others i dont hear from and dont really care, they did their job and that was that)

Answer 2

Back off of your friendliness and be businesslike...you're too easy.  When you want someone else to change, the thing to do is change yourself.  My guess is that she'll be more friendly toward you when you're not so willing to fawn over her.

Answer 3

I think you should just try your best in riding maybe if you do a good job she will finally like you if not just be nice to her.  ;)

Answer 4

trust me, your instructor isn't the only one.

Answer 5

Might be time to make the "change" of instructors...if you're not comfortable with the current instructor, no doubt your "learning" process is  slowed or interfered with.

People will put up with a lot of garbage just because they think they may be the "problem" when nothing could be further from the truth.  You may feel that this is the "one and only" instructor for you but statistics prove that there are very few people who can really "teach" and truly be effective..... and you may be putting up with a lot of abuse in the process.....you won't make the change away from this instructor but she may well be having you stand on your head just to get along with her....which is bs in my book.  Just more of the Prima Donna effect.  

IF you can overlook how she makes you feel about yourself and your riding ability then stay with her.....but if you're tired of the negative vibes then find another....there are many qualified people out there who'll have you feeling good about yourself and your lessons.....to me, that kind of a trainer/instructor is worth their weight in gold.  And, you'll receive a better return in the show pen in terms of ribbons and confidence in yourself......what is that worth to you?

Answer 6

My trainers have always been very sociable, and our whole barn hangs out together and stuff. However, I know of other trainers that feel like the barn is their job and it's not for making friends and socializing. Maybe she's just not a social person, or maybe she just likes to keep it professional at work. Just try talking to her about everyday stuff and see if you can get her to have some conversations with you. If not, let it go.

Answer 7

smile always smile maybee offer to muck a stable for her ,open the gate make sure your always very polite

i think a relationship is important other wise if you didn't like her you wouldn''t concontrate as much ir enjoy your lesson

Answer 8

maybe she just doesn't want to let you in on her personal life... i take group lessons and my some of my instructors love to talk to us... they'll tell us all about how college sucks or they LOVE a certain school horse, how much of a pain in the butt another school horse is and how they don't really like working with little kids so they are SOO happy they got our group and not the beginners.

other instructors won't talk to us unless its about our riding