I feel like my new mother-in-law is pressuring me into having another baby...what should I do?

Question

My husband and I were just married August 7th, and we've been so happy ever since! We each have children from previous marriages, he has a nine year old daughter and I have children ages seven, almost five, and thirteen month old triplets (they're quite a handful!).

Anyway, ever since my husband and I celebrated our wedding, my new mother-in-law is slipping little hints to me like, "Maybe you two could have a new little baby around to celebrate your first anniversary next year, you know how I would adore another one of Aden's children." etc. etc. It's like she's trying to make me feel guilty for not wanting more children at the time. She's very manipulative.

I want to say something to her like, "So having 5 new grandchildren (in reference to my children) isn't good enough for you?" but I don't want to start our new relationship off on bad terms. How can I explain to her that while Aden and I want two or three more children EVENTUALLY, we really want to wait and enjoy our family as it is before we throw another child into the mix? I don't want to fight with her; how can I present myself calmly and kindly?

Thanks to all for any advice, I could really use it; it's a really stressful time for me, what with being newly (and happily!) married and combining my husband's household with mine.

<3

Answer 1

Don&#039;t have s*x with her. Oh wait that is only between you and your husband, just like having a baby

Answer 2

Don&#039;t give in to her. Blended families are hard enough. Id give myself all the time i needed, because first you want to see how all of you get along. Are U ok with him disciplining your kids, how he does it. Your going to maybe have disagreements about things like that. I would wait.. Tell her to f..k off, no JK. But don&#039;t listen to her, she&#039;s not going to pay your bills, or Wake up at night with that new baby, you have UR hands full right now.

Answer 3

Just say it nicely, that you and your husband have talked about it and at some point you will be planning on another baby but for right now it&#039;s in the best interest of your new family to adjust to all the changes you have without the added change of another baby. She&#039;ll appreciate being included, but it won&#039;t sound like you&#039;re telling her to butt out, which, of course, if she keeps it up, your husband has every right to say to her. It&#039;s always best if your husband and you can agree on things, and it sounds better coming from your husband to his mother, instead of you to your mother-in-law. It can be a touchy situation, the in-law relationships, so try your best to get along, and don&#039;t let her come in between your husband and you. If that starts to happen, have a serious heart-to-heart with your husband.

Answer 4

&quot;Oh really?  Well that&#039;s a nice suggestion but we will have more children at OUR own time and pace.  Why don&#039;t you happily enjoy time with your current grandchildren?  Aden and I will decide when the best time is ourselves&quot;

Emphasize what you want.

Answer 5

Mother-in-laws always seem to want the new bride to have a child by the new hubby because they don&#039;t feel the ones you brough into the marriage have any connection since they aren&#039;t blood related to her. Don&#039;t be surprised if she treats your children a little distant and doesn&#039;t warm up to them easy because of this. Tell her for now it&#039;s going to be enough to meld into the family and get used to things as they are, and that if things look good for having a child in the near future, you and your hubby will decide if and when the time is right.

Answer 6

my mother in law is dropping hints like that all the time...my hubby is in Iraq and i just had our first baby 3 weeks ago! i just tell her when Aiden is 5 she will get another grand baby. He is our soul purpose right now. or you can try to tell her that you want a gap between the next child and the triplets.....that should work for awhile. good luck and congrats