I feel like no one cares about me

Question

I have like no true friends. I thought I was one of the most popular girls at my school (it only has 50 girls, it's all-girls). I had maybe 35/50 friends to hang out with in school and sit with at lunch than I had 15 best friends from school who I hung out with outside of school. Then I knew EVERYONE at the 15 other private schools in the area. Basically all my friends left me when I needed them most: My dad is going to jail, my mom has a drinking problem, and are house is going to be taken over by the bank in about a month's time if we don't sell it.

Then my boyfriend says he cares about me, but I can tell he really doesn't and that he just likes having someone he can kiss and hug and cuddle and go to movies with.

My brothers are always busy with sports and their own friends so they are never around either, not even to just talk.

I play 8 sports (field hockey, squash, tennis, fencing, lacrosse, skiing, sailing, and water-skiing) but have been lacking in my preformance lately and all of my sports-friends have stopped talking to me.

Basically everything is going wrong and has been since local newspaper press released a publically humiliating article about my father (he is very successful, well-known businessman in our area). The article made our entire family look like self-obsessed, cheating, white-collar criminals (they forgot to mention the part where my mom is a philanthropist and my dad donates a lot of money annually).

Then I can't talk to my school counselors because they're mean and offer lousy advice (I went to them when one of my friends was anorexic).

I feel so out of place! I am this 13 year old girl who was forced to grow up too quickly because of important dinners (for which my manners had to be perfect), newspaper interviews (long story, again manners had to be perfect), and my dad has basically forced me into the business world at a very early age. I am the heiress of maybe 9 companies and my head is spinning. I'm just an average girl. I mean I'm not perfect... I get bad French, Latin, and Spanish grades and manage a GPA of barely a 3.9, so I am considered one of the dumbest at my school. Above that, I am expected to be this perfect angel with perfect manners and a perfect education with a perfect family and perfect grades.

So I'm 13 years old with the maturity of a 30 year old who has false friends and wishes she could just skip past teenage years and get on with my life.

Ughhh!!!!!!!!! I just either want to be 8 years old or 30 years old... not in between. Help please? Advice? anything!! (Please just serious answers).

What do I do?

Answer 1

I almost didn't answer your posting because I had a hard time believing you were really 13.  But then I went to your profile and read some of the answers you've given to other questions, and I'm satisfied you are who you say you are.  As you said, you present yourself as someone much more mature than you would expect based on your age.

I'm sorry to hear about all the drama going on in your life right now.  It's sad how friends always seem to want to be around when you are the fun one that makes it entertaining for them, but they disappear when it's not fun anymore.  But you also have to understand that your peers are not going to have any idea how to handle some of the serious things you are facing, and they feel awkward when they don't know what to say or how to help.  It doesn't mean they don't care.  Most of the time they just feel stupid when they don't know how to act.

I would suggest looking for other adults you trust, like a friend's mother.  It doesn't sound like you need professional counseling.  You just need someone to listen and care and believe in you and tell you what an impressive job you are doing for handling all this.

One caution, though, even if you find someone like that and you begin to truly appreciate them and trust them, still keep your family's secrets.  It's one thing to talk about your mother's drinking on a board like this where you can post anonymously.  It's quite another thing to discuss it with a friend and neighbor.

Good luck.  I can tell you are under a lot of pressure, but you are definitely an impressive girl and you come across as someone smart and resilient.  You will make it through this rough patch and come out on top.