I feel like the world would be better off without me

Question

Every time my mom and I get into a conversation where she tells me she thinks that I don't try, that I only think of myself, that I don't want to get a job and that all i want to do is just sit ad take. And she even makes it worse sometimes by telling me she covered for me at an outing when she didn't have to.

It always makes me feel like I'm the biggest piece of **** in the world and that the world would be better off without me; my mom wouldn't have to worry about comming up with money for me (I'm a senior in high school and have a scholor ship, but still). But at the same time, I know that shes mostly wrong, I do want to work, I do try, and I do things to help others every single day.

After these conversations I lay in bed and think what it would be like if I shot myself right there after righting a will or a note or something.

I need help...

Answer 1

You must try and understand that adults can be idiots and do not always realise the impact their words can have.  Your mom in her strange way is just trying to motivate you (I no it sounds crazy).  Please talk to her !! Tell her how you feel (exactly what you wrote here) ... You know how you really feel/think so dont let someone else tell you otherwise and make you feel c**p ... you have the capability within to not allow it to get to you ... so dont !!

Answer 2

If you are feeling suicidal, please call a suicide hotline, like 1-800-SUICIDE.

You should not let your mom get you down. I know things may be difficult now, but you have so much to look forward to, like college.  If you are going away to college, you will feel so much better; you will make new friends, get away from your mom, and many schools have free counseling for students.

Please get help as soon as you can.  There are many more hotlines you can use right now:

http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines....

AND 1-800-273-TALK

Answer 3

DON"T shoot yourself !!! alot of what u r going thru is probably normal parent/kid dissention, and it will pass. i'm sure your mom loves u and it would CRUSH her if u died. sure, there's worries, money, grades, but IT WILL WORK OUT! maybe try and tt your mom when u r both in an ok mood and tell her how it makes u feel when she says these things. hopefully that will help, and if not, try and just detach from it. if there's some things u need to work on, well, try to then, but don't be so hard on yourself. "God don't make no junk!" also, what if it were reversed and your mom left a note and killed herself? think how that would make u feel. you'd feel so guilty, right? that's how it'd be for her. there is an old fleetwood mac song, "Don't Stop" that puts it into perspective:

Don't Stop

  



  Written by christine mcvie.

If you wake up and don’t want to smile,

If it takes just a little while,

Open your eyes and look at the day,

You’ll see things in a different way.

Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow,

Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here,

It’ll be, better than before,

Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone.

Why not think about times to come,

And not about the things that you’ve done,

If your life was bad to you,

Just think what tomorrow will do.

Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow,

Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here,

It’ll be, better than before,

Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone.

All I want is to see you smile,

If it takes just a little while,

I know you don’t believe that it’s true,

I never meant any harm to you.

Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow,

Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here,

It’ll be, better than before,

Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone.

Don’t you look back,

Don’t you look back.





"suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

God Bless

Answer 4

You're still studying, you try hard and help others, you sound very worthy. Maybe you should spend time with other relatives who are more positive.  

Answer 5

s***w the world.  It can deal.  You're alive, and you have the right to be alive, and nobody except murderers can take that away from you.  : )

Answer 6

You might think that your mom is your worst enemy, but she's not. She is just trying (in a way) to motivate you in becoming the person she thinks that you will become. All parents are like that. Another thing, don't think about suicide. Try doing meditation techniques. You might think it's kind of stupid, but it relieves stress and other problems building inside you. There are thousands of websites to choose from and it really helps you. Give it a try!