I feel so crushed by this. (wedding)?

Question

All our lives my sister and i have said we would be each others maid of honor. she just got married, today actually. my wedding is next year.

Due to circumstances we weren't able to see each other very much for about two months, work schedules, children ect.. so she tells me that she has chosen her fairly new friend to be her maid of honor instead of me because i had not been around much (i didn't even know the wedding date at this point and i had talked to her prior to that) turns out i wasn't even a bridesmaid and i had been treated so incredibly cruel by one of her friends at the wedding today. i couldn't even talk to my sister or help get her ready because this woman was all about trying to run the show(NOT the maid of honor a different woman) i never mentioned it to anyone how i felt, i was very pleasant and smiling all day, but after i left i couldn't stop crying. my sister has always been my best friend, i'm closer to her than anyone else and i felt like i didn't belong.

Answer 1

You have every right to feel hurt.  Keep that in mind for future knowledge.  What people are like as children is often very different than what they are like in their adulthood.

Answer 2

It's such a shame that you feel this way.  You may want to talk to your sister about it at a later date.  I can tell you that there were things that happened at my wedding (a friend who was helping - not even a bridesmaid or anything) that I found out afterwards and I apologized to my family and/or other friends for.  I know she was trying to be helpful to me, the bride, but she was being rude to my family and other friends in the process.  I'm sure your sister didn't realize it and would want the chance to apologize to you for the way you feel.

About not being the maid of honor - maybe she felt she was doing you a favor, not hurting you.  She might've thought since you were so busy that she didn't want to put more burden on you.

This will pass for sure.  You'll see on your wedding day that there's stuff you don't even realize or want to say anything about because it's "your day" and you just want to be the happy bride.  Cheer up, if you and your sister are so close, there's no way that she wanted that to happen and wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

Congratulations on your wedding!

Answer 3

You love your sister and are happy for her....all that is perfectly fine BUT....you NEED to talk to her about this.  Please don't be a doormat....stand up for yourself and tell her how all of this made you feel.  It's not healthy to keep it bottled up inside....it truly isn't.

When my sister was getting married years ago, I had always thought she would make me MOH....after all I am her ONLY sister and sibling for that matter.  But, she decided to make her best friend MOH and truthfully, that hurt.  In the end, she decided to only have my mother stand up for her as well as the groom's mother for the groom.  Not sure why it turned out that way but, that's how they wanted it.  Anyways, I never for a moment questioned my sister's role in my wedding two months ago...she was my MOH.  Maybe you care more about your sister's feelings than she does of yours.....because that's how I feel my sister felt towards me.  I was crushed and eventually I did talk to her about it....she did brush it off as nothing....but at least I voiced my feelings.  You seem like a very kind and caring girl....I do know this.  

As far as your sister's friend....s***w her!  Some crazy women like to steal other people's thunder....it's insane!  I'm sorry you had to be treated like that.  There is no excuse for that behavior.

Answer 4

I know your upset, but there is nothing you can do. In time she will realize her mistake. Talk to her about it in the near future and let her know how hurt you were. You can still be the bigger person and ask her to be in your wedding, even if shes just a bridesmaid. My sister did the same to me. It does hurt but know that you didnt do anything to her.

Answer 5

I am so sorry that's terrible I think you should talk to your sister about how you feel.