I feel so depressed and so alone?

Question

i feel like there is nobody here for me. i have friends and i have family, but i just cant seem to understand why this is happening to me. i have reoccuring suicidal thoughts, and it brings tears to my eyes and horrible guilt to say that because God has done nothing but blessed me with a loving family and great friends.

my "best friend" completely betrayed me, and we are starting at a new school and its very big, so i probably won't hear anything from her or about her, and it makes me a little upset to know that someone who could have impacted my life so much, will just treat me like that. it has always been a competition with her. if i got a cute boyfriend, she had to find someone cuter, or if i got a new phone she would try to get a better one or just sneer at me and tell me how g*y it was.

she just tried to be better than me, and when she failed, she got angry at me, as if it was my fault.

i just want to move on, but i can't! and it makes me feel worthless because i sacrificed everything for her. when someone did something mean to her, i stood up for her--even if they were my friends. i lost most of my friends because of it too! i put her before me, no matter what, and it really just gets me upset that she would do this.

what makes me even more angry is that i let this happen. it just makes me feel so sad, kind of like i ruined everything not her.

what can make me feel better? i just want to move on!

Answer 1

I know it's hard. You've been with this friend for so long and you've made such a spiritual bond with her that you just can't force it out. Don't worry, I know this sounds crazy, but  leave her be. Who knows, maybe oneday she might just come crawling to you in tears... :P

Answer 2

I had a friend like that and we were friends for like 4 years but it does get better. just try and be you self now and make good friends that will treat u with respect. i think you should talk to a professional if you thinking about suicide because that's really not the answer.

Answer 3

Don't worry I went through the same exact thing with my ex best friend. The only difference with me in u is everything was a competition in sports I am a better athlete then she is and it really pisses her off and still does 2 this day. So when we got in2 middle school when the competition gets more serious and u are noticed more she started 2 be a ******* ***** 2 me all because I am a way better athlete and basketball player then she is. So I realized i did not have 2 taker her BS anymore so I blew her out of the water and told her exactly what I thought of her. I am going 2 be in 10th grade and we don't even talk 2 each other but that's how I like it. Please don't blame yourself u r better then her and it pisses her off. What the h**l kind of friend is that blow her off 4get about her. Plus if she tries 2 make up with u blow her off u have 2 trust me on that 1 cuz she will just end up hurting u over and over. So member u r better and it rips her up!

Answer 4

Aww.. email me, I had the exact problem and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here. I know how that feels and its hard to deal with it alone.

Answer 5

been there..well I'm there right now..best thing that i can recommend is to befriend yourself and remember that you are important..and you are your best friend..friends do come and go no matter how close we thing we are to them  

Answer 6

You may have "Clinical" Depression, which is a disorder, and doesn't actually have anything to do with what is going on around you.  People with clinical depression look for a reason or excuse that they feel that way.  I suggest that you see you doctor. Medication can really help, even just for a short period.