I feel so devastated, how can I heal from this relationship?

Question

I met this man from another country and I never felt this way about someone before; I felt like I knew him forever and I never felt so happy just to be next to him. Unfortunately, before I met him he already made plans to move back to his country to get a phd, so basically... he's leaving me :(

And all of the sudden he got really quiet and was too "busy" to see me. He is leaving in less than two weeks and all I want to do is see him and he won't allow it. Of course I was hurt and asked why and he said that I'm making the situation worse since he won't see me anymore. This is so depressing. I just want to see him, but I know he can't do it mentally. I'm sad that it had to end this way :( what can I do to heal?

Answer 1

Hi

First off, the pain you feel when someone has "cut free" from you and you are not ready for it is unbearable. We have all been there and felt it.  I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this right now.  If he doesnt want to see you then I would say keep your integrity intact and dont chase him.  If he wants to see you he will contact you but at least then the ball would be in your court and you could make an informed decision.  In the meantime cry as much as you want to cry, punch your pillow and vent all the upset and anger in a way that gives you a form of release.  Write him a letter about the pain and upset you are feeling (but dont post it) and then just destroy it, but get all your feelings out one way or another.  There will be another love for you and the process of getting over this one may be long and arduous, but its a learning process.  You will learn from this experience and your learning will make for positive experiences in the future.  Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with all the love and respect you deserve.  

Thinking of you

Mary x

Answer 2

i think hes a ''hit it and quit it'' kind of person o__O

Answer 3

Your relationship would appear to have been limited to a physical attraction on his part.  You'll get over it.  I know.  I recovered from the nastiest divorce many years ago.  It just takes time.

Answer 4

Baah, there is a saying that it is better to love and lost than never to love at all...you may be hurting at this time but soon it will be over and you will just laugh at loud with the memories of what you're into right now.  There is no other way to heal but to start analyzing the scenario.  Wake up! That man do not love you at all..coz if he does he will definitely find ways to get in touch with you and will not lose contact even though he is moving back to his country...move on girl!  Make yourself busy..go out with your friends, meet and date other guys.  Don't look much on what you are feeling right now for him but look at the side of what he is creating you to be and that is to be miserable and depressed...remember, there are other men out there who are more deserving of your love.  There is nobody to help you heal but yourself....seek God!...remember that it is that man's lose not yours.  If you want to be given importance it should start from you.  Start forgetting him...and make yourself busy till the pain is gone.      

Answer 5

This is just sad.. but may b this is good for u both. Doing PHD takes a lot of time and its hard to get over someone u fall for once........

it hurts.......what country is he from?? bcz if its a nearby country..may b u can move with him..but if he is frm far...u gotta let it leave u......as very few women can go all the way for a man...n vice versa.

May b u can take a break from relationships..or may b u can start dating again so that it keeps u busy...n if u strike the chord with some gentleman...feel lucky and ull forget all what happened betn u n him..

can IM me or mail me if u like...

Answer 6

"What ultimately defines a relationship, is another relationship". Allow your heart to mourn for this guy b/c it has to in order to appropriately heal, but then get out there again and enjoy yourself and your youth.

Hope this finds you well.

God bless sweetheart!