I feel so disconnected from the rest of the world?

Question

i have lots of friends but i can't connect with any of them. whenever we hang out in a large group, i just hide in the background, not knowing what to say or do.

i feel like the odd one out at home too. the rest of the people in my family seem normal. i spend more time with myself than anyone when i'm at home. and sometimes i prefer to be alone.

i only have one friend who i can relate to... but we don't see each other that often, only once a week. i feel normal when i'm with her.. but i always feel like a weirdo when she's not around. everything.. everyone seem so different than me...

why am i like this?

how do i make myself feel normal?

Answer 1

You don't say what age you are, but my guess is, you have a lot of learning to do. This is only a phase you're going through, its all part of the growing process. People can feel like this whether they're 13 or 23, but we've all felt it at one stage in our lives, usually our teens. It does pass though, you get wiser and gain more confidence and learn how to deal with situations. Don't panic! You'll be fine.

Answer 2

Ok, I partially agree with the people saying it is a self confidence thing. However, maybe you ARE different?

When I was in high school, I dyed my hair pink...and people called me a weirdo. Now, it seems like everyone does it, but when I did it, it was considered "weird". It may be considered weird  now too, I don't really know. I am from the south, where people are very more narrowminded and conservative usually, but now I live in California, so it oculd just be my environment that changed.

Anyway, maybe you are smarter than most of the people you know, or more caring, or shyer...or any number of things that make you different from them. My best friend is a g*y guy, and he lives in rural KY...and he does not fit in. This is not some paranoid dillusion or lack of confidence...he really just does not fit in. However, he doesn't care...he understands that backwoods KY is not the g*y capital of america.

So, maybe you should try to find more friends who you do feel connected with. If you are like the people you feel disconnected from, then it means it is psychological in some way. Most people feel alienated and different than others at times...and wonder if they are normal. However, you dp have 1 friend you don't feel that way around, so maybe you just need to find more people like you, and your family and current friends just aren't t he same as you.

Also, as you get older, it becomes less important to be like others in order to feel connected. My husband is a redneck and I am sorta goth/punk or something....In high school I wouldn't even talk to rednecks....because they were just "so different", but I was wrong...at least about my redneck :)

Answer 3

OK, good question, basically in order to change, the best way to do it is this, decide how you want to feel then ask yourself the question if I really felt that way how would I act, then do it.

Our actions and thought must line up.  Currently you are lining your actions with your thoughts, flip it around, line up you thoughts with your actions.  This is going to suck at first and you won't like it, but do it anyway, it's your best chance.  You will just have to use discipline and make yourself do these things to start with.  After a while, maybe 1-6 months or so depending, you will change and you will be thinking acting  and feeling, how you want to.

I have a website that deals with this in great detail, you might find it useful.

http://www.dream-life-coaching.com

Good luck

Answer 4

Behaviour of a human being depends on the condition of seven main energy centres in his body.  They are controlled by different divine forces. If one is able to connect the divine energy existing in his sacrum bone [that is why it is called sacrum - sacred] with the nature, then he can very well control his  energy centres and thereby improve his behaviours.

To know more about energy centres and how to connect the divine energy with the nature[all pervading power] pl. log on to www.sahajayoga.org.

Answer 5

you lack self-confidence my dear.. all you have to do is to expose yourself with more social situations..

Answer 6

I agree with Jordan. I was and am still a little bit the same as you. People see you totally different than you see yourself. Some people are just socially awkward and feel they don't really have anyone to relate to or that sees life and other such things the same as you do.

Do you have trouble making eye contact? If so start small with telling yourself to make more eye contact.

Give yourself little homework assignments when in social situations. You don't have to be witty all the time. Just make sure you're contributing to the conversation.

I don't know if you're the same way, but I tended to to use the word "I" when I tried to engage or start conversation because it was the only way I knew how. People take that as being self centered so I just worke don changing the way I spoke.

The more you look into all of this the more you'll understand and come out of your shell a little. See about some self help books. Are you in your teens? This is a factor too. Best of luck.

edit - oh and by the way. My guess is that you're probably very bright and smart. People that are your "type" I guess you call it, tend to be.