I feel so inadequate because i have a perfect brother...?

Question

i'm a 16 year old girl and i have a brother who is 18 and we get along really well. the only problem is is that he is just too perfect. everyone likes him, he's good at sport, he's clever without even trying, he's cool, he's nice, he's streetwise, he turned down the opportunity to be in the choir, all the teachers at school like him, all the parents like him and he is so relaxed. he's just left the school that i'm at now and to be honest i don't feel like i can stay there anymore. his legacy will always be hanging over me there and i just don't want that. i'm not very pretty, i'm not a complete loser but i'm not cool, i'm not particularly sporty and i work hard but i'm not clever and not everyone likes me. he got invited to everyones parties and i got invited to one girls only because she's in my house at school. what should i do? i know i should try to be a first class me and not a second class him but how do i get away from all this comparing of him to me? should i leave the school in sixth form or just stick with it?

Answer 1

This is excactly what my brother left for me to deal with in high school as well. Of course, that was almost 20 years ago, but I still remember hating him for being so darn "special'

When teachers asked me "Oh...are you so and so-s little sister?"

I would reply with "No, he's my brother"

I ended up creating my own legacy, didnt take the same classes, went on a limb to be different. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not, but by the end of my first year at high school, hardly anyone bothered me about it anymore.

Just be yourself and try to stop comparing yourself to him.

You are not an extended version of the same person, you are you!

Answer 2

Firstly I know how you feel. I went through school with people asking me why I couldn't be more like my big sister. She was head of this and president of that whereas I was sort of middling. Even now if we go out together people give her all their attention and ignore me almost completely

You know the answer to your question, that you should be the best 'you' possible. Are there good opportunities for you in 6th form college or similar. Maybe it'd be a good idea to change, but only if the opportunities are at least as good as school.

Answer 3

its a huge question... keep ur options open and look at other schools and if u see one u prefer then move but if u feel ur ok with ur brothers rep before the start of sixth form then stay but if not move

also if hes gone now.. in sixth form itll be new teachers, new pupils and a new start, not as new as a new school but still people wil stop comparing you  

Answer 4

The first thing is to stop comparing yourself to him. You are 2 separate human beings and just because he is your brother does not mean to say you have to be a female version of him. You will only let your own personality come through when you stop worrying. He is him and you are you...celebrate the differences instead of worrying about them sweetie!

Answer 5

Youve got to keep with it..if you can!

Im in a simular situation...im a few years younger than you and my brother is my twin! So we are int he same classes, same year, smae everything, so it makes it hard! Hes always annoying me because hes much cleverer, all the teachers adore hima nd it drievs me crazy! You have to keep trying, work hard and be brilliant as you, your brother seems great but you are your own person, dont let your brother reputation ruin what YOU are!

Answer 6

Firstly, stop comparing yourself to him. It won't help. Secondly, only leave the school if you don't like it. You just need to make your own name at your school. You have to make your own path rather than following his. Take up a hobby that you enjoy that maybe he never did. If he played football, try basketball. If he sang in the choir, take up an instrument. These are just examples but see what I mean? My older brother did Languages, Maths and Chemistry for his A Levels. My older sister did Photography, Psychology and Maths for hers. I did English, German, History and Maths for mine. Although we all did Maths, our choices were quite different. We spent all of our school years get asked if we were related to each other. It was hard not to be compared to each other especially since we were at that school for 12 years between us. Try not to be shy, get talking to people and take some risks on your hobby. You may not think you'll like something but it turns out you love it. Just stop comparing yourself to him and remember that he is not better at being you than you are. That, he can never be better at. Hope this helps and things work out for you.

Answer 7

I don't know which is worse, having a brother who's perfect going ahead of you, or having a brother who was the original h**l-raising anti-Christ.

I had the latter. It was as bad, if not worse, because I had a reputation for being wild simply because of my brother. Things were said about me that weren't true, but you know what, I just did my own thing, and when people talked about my brother, I said yeah whatever. We were two very different people, and the people who mattered knew about it, and those who didn't know, well, they didn't matter much anyway .... not to me personally.

Didn't have a whole lot of time for gossipmongerers.  

Answer 8

you should stay put think of all the good things about you, if its still bothering you canhave a talk with your brother but you can also leave its your choice

Answer 9

Stick with it Poppet,

you have nothing to prove or live up to.

Just be proud you have a brother like this, and let everyone know how proud you are.

Your not 2 peas in a pod,you are individuals with your own likes and dislikes.

Opinions,and tastes in Life.

Enjoy being you, do your best at what you do, and be Nice! That's the most important ingredient in Life.

Good Luck.x

Answer 10

You are absolutely right that you should be a first class you.  I know that my own brother feels this way about me.  He is going to the school that I went to and he felt that he wasn't living up to what I accomplished while I was there.  What he did was he found something that he was good at (art) which I wasn't as skilled in and has stuck with it.  He is making a name for himself in the halls of that school now.  You should try and make your name stand out too.  Not just as your brothers sister but as you.  Showcase some of your talents when the opportunity comes around.  You never know where you might get with that!

Hope I've been helpful! <3