I feel so unattractive I can't look into the mirror?

Question

Well, basically, I have my 'days' where I feel great...and then days where I won't leave the house.

I'm only 15 years old and am told by strangers that I am beautiful/pretty...the lot, but I cannot believe them - I don't believe them.

Every time I look at myself, I feel like my face shouldn't exist. That it is overly hideous for anybody to look at.

I have done some research and I have some symptoms of BDD, but that doesn't change anything,

I desperately want to be happy with myself, and I don't want this to affect my studies, which it is already doing.

I want to be young and carefree, and not have to worry about stupid things like this, but it is always pricking me.

I feel hopeless, and I don't want to see a psychologist for certain reasons, so I need some answers. Please and thank you.

Answer 1

Wow...this sounded just like me in high school. I know the world is a shallow place, but you can make it better for yourself. Do something that makes you feel good..like wear a little makeup or get a cute haircut. Find things that you like and remember that things can be worse. There are people out there with serious problems like poverty and HIV.

Answer 2

Gosh that's tough, I experienced the same thing when I was 15 and I hated feeling that way but was also intelligent enough to realize this was not good for me... yet like you said, that didn't stop me from beating up on myself or feeling unattractive!

My suggestion to you is to accept that you have these feelings because its perfectly natural in modern day society - so long as we read fashion magazines, watch movies and television we're destined to have these insecurities in our moments of weakness.

The only way I know of to deal with this is to stop the negative thinking.  You'll discover in life that beauty really does come from within, you'll also learn that worrying and stressing out about your appearance is the biggest waste of time and actually makes us uglier.  The stress makes your skin dull and your complexion poor.  The most beautiful thing about a person is always their smile so if you don't feel good about yourself it actually shows on the outside.  A smile uses muscles that run all the way into your skull and actually pulls your face up, like a natural face lift.  But if you're grumpy all day or even fake smile, your face will actually begin to sag and as you get older it becomes permanent.

So the next time you look in the mirror think about the consequences of what you are about to think.  The moment you think you're hideous and unbearable, consider how much worse you're going to look just thinking these thoughts!  Also consider that how you look is not so important as the person you are.  I've seen so many awesome and beautiful women grow old alone because their image took precedence over more important things in life, they became the center of their own worlds overly concerned about their appearance, but also using their beauty as a tool for acquiring things.  Outer beauty is temporary so appreciate what you have now, be thankful for what you've got, accept yourself and focus on the good things in life.

Answer 3

"i once cried because I had no shoes then I met a man who had no feet",think of the millions of people whom are born with severe physical defects,now tell yourself about your problems

Answer 4

Youre lucky, I have never met any stranger who has told me Im beautiful and there has never been a family member or boyfriend who ever told me that.

Answer 5

I think everyone has days where they feel unattractive, but for most people that doesn't stop them from leaving the house and doesn't make them loathe themselves. This is affecting your life and even though you say you don't want to go to a psychologist, you really need a professional to help you with this. Nobody on here is going to have the answer to this question. It goes much deeper than just feeling unattractive, and a professional will help you understand what makes you feel this way and how to combat it. If you don't address it now it will affect your life forever, please get some help. It makes me sad to think of someone so young suffering with this.

Answer 6

your very beautiful your self esteems just holding you back

Answer 7

You know what everyone in the whole world that is not crazy has moments where they are insecure & see something different in the mirror than the day before.... is that possible to physically change from one day to the other??  Of course not & that shows you how powerful the mind is - the eyes can lie.    

I have to tell you some advice my grandmother said to me before she died....... she said you know what Steven when I was young I was very beautiful.  People would stop and stare, but I would just think why are they staring at me .... I must be hideous.  & I was very insecure... it was something I felt so deeply that I was not good enough or right inside.  And my sister who I thought was beautiful & kind & perfect was told by others how lucky she was to have a beautiful sister like me.... but it didn't bother her and she had many many friends that loved to be around her.... .where I didn't  have any.  She would just happily agree with them with a smile.  

& then she told me one day...... that beauty is not how you actually look is is a feeling that you radiate with your personality, your eyes & your smile & disfigurement & old age can't take away that beauty.  

You have to get away from the mirror ... it can be addictive staring at yourself, picking apart your flaws. This body is just not who we are ... it is our machine.  It gets us around it holds our minds & spirits but it is just a machine that will eventually break down & turn back into dust & to be obsessed about "your vehicle" is a waste of your short amount of time here.  

Sure give your vehicle a wash, take a shower.

Make sure your vehicle has a good paint job, dress nicely, little make up & good hair cut.

Give your vehicle high grade gas, eat good food.

But don't stare at it all day........ just have fun & take her out on the open road for an adventure & enjoy life !!!!!

Take care & God bless!!!  

Answer 8

everyones beautiful in their own way, i felt the same about myself at one point, but its something that will get better.

Answer 9

i think your beautiful