I feel that my parents are way too strict. I really don't want other teens answering this, only moms and dads

Question

Okay so I am turning 14 in October and I am still not allowed to wear any makeup, date guys, straiten my hair, wear abrecrombie (ae aero and etc.), or text so basically that sorta stuff. I totally feel they are strict and they don't listen to how I feel about those things. I think I am kinda pretty and I genuinly like those things, not just cuz they are cool but I am sorta outcast because of my parents. The "popular" girls are really nice and they like me and talk to me but I basically feel outcast even though I eat and hang out with them and stuff. ARE MY RENTS TOO STRICT AND DO ALL YOU OTHER MOM AND DADS HAVE THE SAME RULES TO YOUR KIDS???

Answer 1

I would say they are definitely way over protective.. You are only a child once.. I am a parent and it is very hard to not be over protective but how else are you going to grow into a beautiful woman without life experiences... Stay strong hirl.. You will do the right thing

Answer 2

My parents were strict as well.  I can remember crying over not being able to do what everyone else was doing.  Now that I am a parent, I would do exactly as my parents did.  Your parents are only doing what is best for you.  The popular girls obviously like you as you are- no makeup and no designer clothes.  Don't stress.  The time will be here in no time when you will be able to wear make-up and date boys.

Answer 3

Well my kids are not that far up in age but

at 14 my daughter will not be wearing make-up, unless she dances like I did, then it would only be for performances not everyday.

She and her brothers will not be dating until high school and before they do they have to prove they can handle the pressure of school work first

I'll let them text as long as its on a family plan and I can track it but not on a prepaid phone.

They can wear those types of clothes as long as I can afford it and the clothes fit in a decent way.

my daughter already gets her hair straightened at 4

Your parents are a bit strict, but I can ensure you they are only doing what they feel is best

Hope this helps you

Answer 4

Thank God your parents don't let you wear Abercrombie. What a terrible product. You don't want to wear that c**p anyway.

I think it's fine that you don't wear makeup. I would be thankful that they think you are naturally beautiful and don't need to cover your face up with makeup. But perhaps that is something you can negotiate. Maybe they'll let you wear a little bit of makeup (mascara, blush, and lip gloss) when you turn 14. Just talk to them about it.

I didn't text when I was your age either. Haha then again, they didn't have cell phones.

And you are too young to date in my opinion.

Answer 5

My son is only 9 weeks old so I havnt gone through this. But I wasnt allowed to date until I was 16. Maybe sit down with your mum and say id really like to wear makeup and for you to show me how. These rules seem like normal ones to me. You have a cell/mobile phone and arnt allowed to text? That seems a little pointless.

Just be youself and you dont need makeup to be pretty

Answer 6

ok, im 15 years old. so don't get all mad at me or something. but my parents think the same way. first off, i can't date guys til im basically 30.and im not allowed to wear makeup until im in college. your parents don't want you into any trouble with guys and such. your parents are just protecticing you and they love you no matter what.

Answer 7

Well, my daughter will be 14 this weekend and she doesn't own a cell and she is not allowed to date until she's at least 16, although a group thing would most likely be all right. As for makeup...she chooses not to wear it, but I would buy her some if she wanted to wear it, provided she didn't wear too much. I'm not sure what your parents have against you straightening your hair. I think you should be allowed to do as you wish with your hair. As far as clothing, I'm not familiar with those brands, although I've heard of them. We don't buy name brands because they are way overpriced. The teen years are tough under the best of circumstances, but hang in there and be glad your parents care about you!

Answer 8

well with the make up, my rules are a cheap lip gloss and a little blush untill 14 and than you can wear it on special occasions, and on 16 they can wear it whenever they want.

my dating rules are 16+

I think them not letting you straighten your hair is ridiculous! I straightened my hair at 9! If your old enough where your mom can show you a couple times (that makes them feel better) and than you can do it makes you old enough.

I think the clothes situation depends on the budget, I always had to save up my own money for expensive clothing as we didn't have alot but all the other girls I see not working for any of this stuff show they have to responsibility and are spoiled.

The texting, I think is okay, but some teens get obsessed and that can be a problem, maybe tell your parents, if I can test I will only do it for -------------- a day. You can negotiate and that could be one of the rules.

Answer 9

Am I that strict in those ways? No. Am I strict in other ways? Yes.

My daughter was allowed to start wearing make-up at age 12, she has always been allowed to date (what harm will a little child do with a boyfriend?), but could never actually go anywhere with them until age 12 (besides school activities), she has been able to straighten her hair since she asked (11), she wears Abercrombie, AE, Aeroepostale, and designers ever since she could fit in the particular store, and has had a cell phone since age 11, been able to text since age 11.

Maybe your parents feel you aren't ready for these privileges, my daughter is and was very mature for her age. We never had any reason to keep these privileges from her. Frankly, you sound like a little brat and you should have these strict rules. If your parents are not financially able to buy you clothes from the 'popular' stores, accept that. If you 'have' to have something from there, earn some money and buy it YOURSELF.

Compromise with your parents or at least see if they will compromise.

Instead of full-blown make up, light pink/peach/clear lip gloss, mascara, and Bare Mineral face powder.

Instead of going on dates alone, have a group of friends go along.

Instead of them buying you 'must have' clothes, buy them yourself, do chores to earn them, or offer to pay for half of them.

Instead of texting whenever, ask if they could set a limit on your phone, say to 20 texts a month.

Just try and see what they say, but remember they are your parents, and what they say goes. If they refuse to compromise, it means you are not ready and they are just doing what's best for you.

Answer 10

Well, I agree with you that your parents are a little strict.  But some of the things you mentioned have a reason behind them.  

If your parents can't afford clothing from the mall then you will have to deal with that.  You can't change your parents income to suit your tastes in clothing.  Maybe there is a place like Plato's Closet around you?  They sell name brand clothing for a fraction of the cost.  Just an idea.

As far as dating, that's about the norm.  I wasn't allowed to go on dates until I was 16.  Most kids aren't.  

Texting is probably for a reason as well, some people get carried away with it and rack up huge phone bills.  Maybe you could suggest to your parents that you get an unlimited text plan so they wouldn't have to worry about the extra cost.

The makeup and straightening your hair issues are pretty strict.  I was allowed to wear light makeup when I turned 12, pretty well as much as I wanted by 14.  And straightening your hair isn't a big deal, so I don't know what their reasons are for that one.

Maybe you could make some compromises with your parents.  Tell them that you would like to wear makeup, but will only wear lip gloss, powder and mascara for right now.  Or whatever you would like to wear.  And also that you would like to be able to straighten your hair.  

Talk to them, they may not really realize that what they are doing is so strict.  But don't go into the conversation with the 'you don't listen to me' attitude.  If you want to have more grown-up privileges you will have to go to them with an adult attitude.  Talk to them calmly and rationally and explain how you feel.

Answer 11

Hi there, while it is clear you're parents seem pretty strict, they are only doing so because they love you and don't want you involved in certain things until you are older, you're only 13 going on 14yrs, that's still really young sweetie. I can understand your frustrations but I'm sure they aren't strict to be mean they just care about your future and the influences of others etc can make a huge difference.

I have a 15yr old step daughter and a 12yr old step daughter as well as my own 2 daughters who are 5yrs and 3yrs old, and yes while we don't have so many rules for lil 2 as they are just too little and we don't have to worry just yet, the older 2 especially 15yr old have displayed really bad behaviour and attitude and are not mature for their age (well and truly under), we have to be really strict like your parents as they just aren't capable of being safe and responsible. Have you gotten yourself into trouble before or done anything to make your parents doubt your capabilities??? You know right from wrong now, would you choose right over wrong amongst your friends? if yes and your parents know this maybe they will let up on the rules a bit, sit down and talk to them and explain how you are feeling, Although I gotta admit I think the no makeup bit is way too harsh, every girl deserves some makeup, not to wear to school of course (makeup is against school rules) but at home it shouldn't be a problem, all our girls have makeup but are banned from wearing it at school but eldest still does and looks cheap and nasty and giving herself a bad rep (and wonders why we are strict).

Are you respectful at home anddo chores etc? maybe your parents are just waiting for when you are mature enough to handle the extra responsibiity. Good Luck to you

Just behave, be responsible for your actions and be respectful, and eventually your parents will turn around and give a lil, but be defiant etc and it'll only confirm their reasons for being strict.

Answer 12

so... are they strict because of moral issues or are they strict because of external circumstances like finances?

my oldest daughter had her first boyfriend at 14 - she didn't like him and spent much of her time telling me to say she wasn't home.  i let her wear whatever she wanted as long as she paid for it herself.   i told her "the law says i have to dress you - it doesn't say i have to pay a hundred bucks for a pair of jeans".   she got back at me by learning to sew fashion knock-offs.

yes, she was allowed to wear makeup but only because i sent her to a modelling school where she learned how to apply it.  same rule - she can wear it but she buys it herself.

straighten your hair!???  are you insane!!!????  i know someone who just spent nearly $200 getting her hair permed and coloured and yadda-blah-blah.   i love the curly hair i only recently discovered i had - for 40yrs, i thought it was straight and bushy.  turns out it's curly as h**l, i was just torturing it to death by brushing and combing it.

i think straight hair is boring.

Answer 13

My sister is 14 and she isn't allowed to wear make up or date, not that she's interested in any of that.

The rules about texting and wearing AE clothing are a bit over the top if you ask me.

Answer 14

14 is too young to wear full on makeup except for maybe a little lip gloss and blush.

14 is too young to "date" guys. Going to activities with guy/girl groups margianally supervised or where an adult is within reach OK, but not one on one dating. Wait till you are at least 16 and your parents must approve of the guy before you walk out the door.

Straightening your hair is not very good for it, depending on the style it doesn't seem to add much to it. Unless you have really unruly hair where straightening it would help 14 is a little young to start caring so much, but if it were my daughter, this one would probably be OK.

The designer labels are expensive and I am guessing that's why they don't want you wearing them. They pay the bills. My daughter didn't wear designer clothes unless she got them as gifts, grandma paid for them or she bought them herself.

The texting thing is pretty unnesscecary. The cell phone my daughter's dad and I gave her didn't allow texting and the use of it was strictly limited until she started paying for her own minutes.

I understand you want to fit in and hang out with the popular crowd. If these girls really like you they couldn't care less about your parents rules. If it's a big deal, they are not very good friends in the first place.

I was much stricter with my daughter (now almost 23) than my parents were with me. They let me and my 2 sisters do anything we wanted including hanging out with the wrong people, drinking and partying at very young ages etc.

I wish I had your parents then.

Answer 15

well i have 3 grown children and i  let them be themselves up to a point i tried to listen to my daughter and do what i could to make her happy i remembered how i felt when i was her age i know peer presur is out there so i let my kids expecialy my girl  talk to me about anything  i let her wear makeup but helped her applying it i had her as my friend but still her mother    hang in  there hun your parents will learn

Answer 16

I am a parent to two boys ages 10-7yrs and they dont have name brand clothing because i cant afford it and they dont mind... wal-mart and kmart and sometimes old navy if they run a sale is what they wear... You are only 14 yrs old and i think way to young for name brand outfits unless u can help pay for them like babysitting... but it sounds like u have a cell phone and that is cool but not for our boys they will get a cell phone when they can help pay the bills... just deal with the rules and show them u can be responsible enough to earn some of the other stuff and it may work out for u in the future...

Answer 17

I am a parent, and as such, I understand what your parents are doing, but maybe they are a little too strict. They have seen many things in their lives that don't look good for you, Respect what they tell you, because they don't want you to have the problems that some of the other kids, are probably going to face. Which in that case may not be good problems. Let yourself grow up first, then you can decide, what you want in your life, and possibly choose the right way. Hopefully

Good Luck Sweetheart

Answer 18

I understand that the cost of stores such as abercrombie, ae, and aero are expensive, but often times things come on sale and you can get clothing at a good price. I have gotten a couple shirts from hollister for about 10 dollars and at abercrombie you can get something on sale for 14. As for the other stuff, your parents love you so they want to keep you protected. I think that they don't want you to grow up too fast.

Answer 19

Well...understand that some things in life are earned and not given.....K. Money is hard to come by right now and they may be facing some issues that you may not comprehend.

Answer 20

I felt the same way at your age, but you are only 14 and you have a long way to go. Do you know when your parents plan on letting you start dating? I couldn't until I was 16 years old! Maybe you should at least see when they are going to let you and you will have something to look forward to. I don't understand why they won't let you wear abercrombie because of your age. That is a little weird. My parents definitely watched what I wore and I couldn't wear anything skimpy, but name brand wasn't a factor. Maybe you could find some things on the website that are actually cute and age appropriate to show them. All parents have rules, some more than others, but you will get more freedom very soon. Just remember, even though they seem very strict now when you get older you will realize how right they were about many things. I know I can see it now, but I hated the way they treated me when I was younger.