I feel that my twins are being discriminated against by their Principal for past actions...?

Question

3 years ago one of my twins bit another child at school who happened to be a teacher's son. Well she is now the principal of their school. A flyer was sent him with the children stating they will be holding their state exams and for whom ever passes the test will be able to participate in school festival in celebration of their success. Well both of my twins passed and as their teacher stated they were surprised by their outcome.

Long story short, my twins weren't allowed to participate in such festival. Their explanation was because their homework had not yet been completed of which is not due until Friday. My twins were led to believe that they would be attending not until the day of the celebration. My children explained that they were even ridiculed when their Principal exclaimed that they were even dressed for the occasion.

I feel that my children are being discriminated against for past actions. Keep in my mind that my twins are only 9 years of age. I need advice desperately

Answer 1

This sounds like discrimination to me. If the flyer clearly states that those children who pass the exam will be able to participate in the festival, then if they passed they should have been allowed to participate. That is unfair to your children, especially to not inform them that they weren't allowed to participate and make them feel stupid for thinking that they were allowed to because they passed the exam. If this is bothering you and your children, first see if there were other kids who were not allowed to participate even though they passed the exam. If not, then that is singling out your children and could be discrimination. I would at least talk to their teacher about your concerns.

Answer 2

This is totally outrageous.  If they were going to be eliminated from the festival, you should have been notified far in advance so you could have prepared your kids for this, and perhaps even skipped school that day.  But the reason they gave is very flimsy, and to have been ridiculed is completely unacceptable.  I would take this to the Principal first, although I wouldn't expect much action.  But if you talk with the principal first, you'll get more information on his/her reasoning, which will give you more ammunition when you take this to the next level, which I assume would be the school board or superintendent.

(I'm not sure I love the idea of the festival in the first place!)

Answer 3

I would get your facts VERY straight before accusing anyone of anything.

They were kept out because they hadn't completed homework which wasn't even due yet?

If I were you I would ask them - separately and without warning - for a detailed explanation of exactly what this homework was and when it was due. Write down every word they say, and explain to them that you want to have your facts completely straight before you make a formal complaint. I'd lay money that their story changes at that point.

Answer 4

sounds like your kids might not be ready for school.  keep them home another year.   the school is too structured for their needs.  let them be little kids for a while longer.  never tolerate biting or hitting (and model good behavior).

Answer 5

the first thing I would do is call the superintendant and demand to know why it was said all children that passed would be involved but yet your daughters passed and they were excluded and that you feel the principle is holding a grudge for what happened 3 years earlier and it is not only stupid but she is being very emotionally abusive towards your girls.  If he doesnt get it resolved and amends made then i would go to the school board and explain it there and let them know that the woman has no need to be in a position like that if she is going to be that cruel to a 9 year old and if they do not resolve it you will go to the media.  We teach our kids to stand by their word and to be honest and then someone in authority turns and bends the words said around to benefit them, what kind of example is this setting for our kids.

Answer 6

I'm having a hard time even getting past the fact that the school would hold a celebration andonly allow children who passed the testing to participate. That's outragious, not everyone is capable and they should not be punished because of that. My youngest has a disabilty and if someone told me he couldn't participate because he didn't pass a standardized testing I would be throwing a huge fit. They should be rewarding  ALL the kids for doing their best.

This sounds like a rotten school so the rest of your story doesn't surprise me. I would pay a visit to the superindendent of the school district. My main complaint would be the fact that they even have a festival only for children who pass. What do they do with children who do their best and still can't pass? The whole thing is just not right. It also puts way too much pressure on the kids and will only hurt their self esteem if they don't pass. wow...outragious

Answer 7

I would schedule a conference and go talk calmly to the principal or teacher (whichever made the decision to exclude them) regarding why they were excluded.  It's a bit difficult to believe that they were excluded for not having finished homework which was not yet due.  Consider that sometimes reports from kids are not completely accurate.  In any event, give the teacher/principal a chance to tell their side of the story before you get too wound up.  If it turns out they were excluded for actual misbehavior, I'd support the administration -- suffering consequences from misbehavior will help them in the long run, and if they think that their parents oppose the discipline, that's not going to help them any.

If it turns out there was really no legitimate reason for the discipline, I'd make a fuss (asking, for example, if all the other kids who had not finished the not-yet-due homework were excluded), possibly even raising it with the superintendant since the principal is involved.

But honestly, my kids have been bitten by other kids.  I would not hold a grudge against them three years later.  I doubt anybody else who works with kids regularly (and knows that those things happen and that kids change) would, either.