I feel trapped!!!! PLEASE HELP I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! 10 POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER!!!!!?

Question

Last night my dad caught me up late last night. Well, I'm 15, and teenagers tend to do that, right? Well my dad said I have to sleep in his and my mom's room for a while now!!!! I told my mom and she said it was a good idea! I don't get along with my dad at all. He has slapped me, pulled my hair, and said some pretty hurtful things to me. He doesn't support me in anything I do. My 12 year old sister is treated like a princess, though. They always SAY they will punish her, but never REALLY do! I get my cell phone taken away at night, and if I sleep in too late, I get something else taken away! Is there any way I can get out of sleeping in their room???? I really don't want to!!!! They take every bit of freedom I have away from me!!! Tomorrow, luckily I am staying over night at my grandma's house, so then I won't have to worry about it, for a night at least. But what do I do about all the other nights??? I can't take it anymore!!! I feel sooo alone sometimes!!! My mom can be really nice, but when she takes my dad or sister's side, forget it. I really need help!!! I want to know if I can get out of this!!! My dad has made me cry soooo much, and I am pretty sick of it now. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10 POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

if you reallly dont like your father, you really can call someone (social worker..and if you dont know the nember then just call the police) and he could get in realllly big trouble, then maybe you could just live with yo mamma and sisster. if your mom doesnt already know...then make it clear what he does to you. try to make it through the night. maybe do alot durring the day so you can  sleep well at night. if your dad abuses your mother too, there are shelters for abused mothers and childrean

Answer 2

Wow. Not sure what exactly is going on here. I have a 16 yr old daughter and I can't imagine forcing her to sleep in my bedroom, unless she'd been caught sneaking out of the house or something. I can't imagine their reasoning for this, its actually bizarre to me.  

Answer 3

Just calm down and think it through. Apparently, you DO NOT want to sleep in your parents room, right? Ask your mother, whom you said usually gets along with you, why she wants you to do this in a calm manner. If the conversation dosen't seem to be going your way, you may have to make some sort of compromise with your folks. You should also show some remorse or fear, maybe even fake it. Sometimes parents exagerate and just want to see some reaction out of you. If that works, you should be more cautious, maybe a little quieter. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your situation. I feel your treatment as well, though I am the baby. Maybe you should annoy them when you sleep in there by snoring or something. Pull them aside and talk to them though. Say you're through with unfair treatment. If you feel abused, tell someone you trust. Maybe stay at a friends house or Grandparents. I'll pray for you, but pray to God for strength. Good Luck, dear!

Answer 5

Disclosure: I am a Father, although it would take my daughter being homicidal for me to lay a rough hand on her.

One thing that flips my switch;however, is when my children show disrespect to my wife or my self.  They get in trouble and there are always consequences when this happens.  

I know your father can be hard on you.  Parents are like that sometimes.  Their worst fear is that you will make a HUGE mistake and ruin your life.  They do know quite a bit, and what they tell you is usually rooted in experience.

From what you've told me, he reacts to your behaviors, but you haven't articulated those behaviors that initiated the incidents. Considering that your mother supports him in some cases, I'm going to assume that you have earned some of your punishments.

Here's you Answer:

1)  Follow Bill and Ted's 1st Rule "Be Excellent to One Another"

Your Father isn't out to get you, he is probably worried about you for some reason, and you need to accept and honor that this is his job.  Arguing forcefully with your parents only shows your lack of respect for them.  If you disagree with them make your case without yelling and be patient to let your father speak first. Above all else remain calm. A more effective approach is to discuss it practically.  For instance, "Dad, I'm sorry I stayed up late, I was texting My Friend Jenn, and I should have turned it off.  If you want, you can keep my phone after bed time, but I think sleeping on your floor isn't going to guarantee me a good nights sleep.  Would that work for you?"

Parents do listen to reason when you sit down and talk to them with a respectful tone.  Be excellent to them and there is a better chance they will be excellent to you.

Caveat: There are things they will never go along with regardless how well reasoned you think your argument is ( e.g. sleeping over at the boyfriends house, smoking, piercing your genitalia, etc.)

2) Trust is hard won and easily lost.  You need to think selflessly.  This means before doing anything remotely off-limits, consider whether it's worth whatever punishment and the loss of trust that will follow. It takes discipline, a decision on your part to act responsibly.  You will be surprised how quickly your parents really want to trust you, but don't cross them or it will not come again for some time.

My 15-year old is starting to drive, and he knows that the first irresponsible act in the car results in bicycle time and no solo driving until he's a Senior.  This sucks for him and me because I want him to drive, but I can't afford the insurance for an unsafe driver.

3) Don't compare yourself to your little sister.  If you are the older child your parents are learning parenting with YOU.  I spanked my oldest child initially, mostly for things that had the potential to get him killed. I stopped after about a year when I realized there was a better way to teach him without corporal punishment.  He actually asked me when he was Ten, why I spanked him and I didn't spank his little sister or brother. I apolgized and told him that his dad was learning how to be a dad when he was young, and that I figured out that spanking was a bad idea while raising him. I'm learning how to raise a teenager as I type.

4)  IF all of the above doesn't apply, and you are actually a perfect child being persecuted, well your best bet is keeping your head low, and gutting it out until you can go to college or get a job.  

Answer 6

I have a dad like that.  and it is hard. My advice is to maybe see about going to stay with your grandma? or go talk to your school guidance counselor and tell him/her the deal. The fact that your dad slaps you and pulls your hair is wrong and something can be done about that. Especially if he says hurtful things to you. My dad focuses on that one the most. You need to get out of that household. Its not safe for you at all. Please see about living with your grandmother or maybe a best friend will let you come stay with them?

I know what its like to grow up with a father like that but believe it or not verbal abuse is worse than the physical. Verbal abuse can leave emotional scars and negative feelings towards men. You need to get that taken care of you don't wanna go through life not trusting and hating men. Its not healthy. Go to your guidance counselor or tell SOMEONE. please :)

Answer 7

Taking your question at face value there is some real disconnect in your family. I would talk with a school counselor.

Answer 8

what you have to do is sleep in your house and tell your dad how you really feel about what he did to you explain to him why you should be aloud to go to places and grab your mom and tell her that she doesn't have to go by what your dad says all the time. I've been through that situation exept i didn't come home late and my dad didn't hit me but my mom didn't care she just went by with what my dad said and i told him and my mom how i felt and now we are really close. So i think you should just talk to your parents and tell the how you really feel even if its hard. Think about it =}

Answer 9

tell them that at 15 u shouldnt have to sleep in their room.  but if they do give u a specific bedtime sadly u have to aide by it.  (personally i think that u dont need a bedtime at 15)  anyways, maybe if u have ur own room just close the door while being awake and if they check on you jump into bed.  idk  

Answer 10

that ain't right.Talk to someone besides your parents, like your grandma, and calmly tell them what is going on. Sounds like your dad is being to rough and you both need a breather

Answer 11

Well, not sleeping with your parents what you have to do is prove to them that you could sleep on your own.  So,put any kind of camera (video camera) all night to prove that you could it.  You could also go to sleep and tell your parents to check on you and have them do surprise sleeping checks that are random.  Now, the unfairness with your sister is different.  Talk to your parents about that, and if that doesn't work E-mail me @  ([e-mail])        GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

I am sooo sorry!!!=[ my mom can be like that sometimes.

and she takes my phone away at night too!! just go to sleep tonight early and mayb they wont make u sleep in there room.. or if u cant sleep wen they check on you fake sleep!! [[thats what i do]]

and if your getting sick of them just go over to your friends house for the night!! =]]

i hope this helped you

plezzzz [[best answer]]

Answer 13

tell the police they abuse you, that will show them. lol :)

Answer 14

That is a weird punishment. I just don't get it... and honestly, it sounds a bit inappropriate, just my opinion. I doubt that they will cave on it though. If you really want to get out of it, then you could try going to the school counselor and telling her about all of this stuff. She would have them feeling so uncomfortable they probably wouldn't try to pull something like this again. But it could go the other direction too - they might flip out on you and things could just get worse. The fact that he slaps you and pulls your hair frightens me a little. It sounds like he is very degrading, and that he likes to feel powerful. Just remember that there is life beyond childhood, and the best is yet to come. I know when things get so hard at home it tends to look like 18 is too far away, but it will get here and then you can really start living!

Answer 15

You have to earn your freedom in your household; if there is a house rule you have to respect it and abide by it. As for getting out of your parent's bedroom... try talking to your mom again, promise her you will not be late again (and you better do what you promised her, too). Sounds to me that your parents see you as the more rebellious one and they want to teach you some manner, so stop trying to fight back whatever they are teaching you, this way you can get them to try to understand your feelings and even respect it. Remember, you don't want to make things worse by going ballistic on your parents or I can promise you that you will be sleeping in their bedroom for awhile. Best wishes to you.

P.S. try a softer way to "beg" for your freedom instead of fighting them, maybe you can offer to help with chores in exchange of your punishment.

Answer 16

k ur dad has slapped u and pulled ur hair? u might wanna try calling kids help phone or w/e some kinda help line and talk to some about this. i think slapping and pulling ur hair is way too harsh and it sounds like they mistreat u

Answer 17

ya know what i would do? i would just go sleep in there  and i bet  after 2 nights with you in the room they wont want you in there. i know that dosnt sound like something you want to do, but sometimes when you play by your parents rules, you get better things out of it.. just try it and see what happens.  

Answer 18

Oh you sound as miserable as I was when I was your age.  I'm sorry.  It is really painful.

A 15 year old shouldn't be sleeping in her parents room.  You might see if your grandmother will advocate for you on this one.  They could just take things out of your room to make staying up late less interesting.

I'd consider seeing a counselor at school about the slapping, hair pulling and hurtful comments.  You deserve to have someone listen to you and support you.  You're not getting that at home, so it's okay to go looking for it somewhere else, like a school counselor or something.  The counselor's not going to call child protective services unless you have a physical mark on your body, so talking should be confidential.

If he leaves a mark at any point in time, call the child abuse hotline.  It should be in the front of your phone book.

And this may sound nuts, but you may want to think about taking up yoga.  You've got a shortage of inner peace.  May want to cultivate some.  You are deeply loved, and this difficulty is simply a task that you are charged with working through (some people get cancer or parents who prostitute them, so perhaps it could be worse).  Ask for strength and support, perhaps pray for it if you do.  It will help you get through.

Answer 19

You should tell your parents about how you feel, and maybe you can work out a compromise. Your dad should understand that a teenager of your age needs a bit of freedom too. Making you sleep in their room isn't exactly the best solution.

Answer 20

its not so much to not sleep in your moms room, you need to do something about your dad! tell your mom... thats not right.  

Answer 21

Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think that you are going to get out of it. You should be thankful for what you DO have - you're using a computer, aren't you??

That aside, I do understand where you are coming from. When my sister and I moved in with extended family a few years ago, I had the same problem. It seemed like I was always the one wrong, when in fact, I wasn't. My sister did some pretty outrageous things while we lived there, and they never did a thing about it.

The best thing that you can do is give them respect. They provide for you. They put a roof over your head, a bean in your belly, and a warm place to sleep at night. The least that you can do for them is follow their rules. I know that it doesn't seem fair now, but you will be thankful for those rules later. Your parents aren't trying to torture you, they are trying to teach you how to respect an adult - as you should (although I don't totally agree with the punishment).

Help out more where you can, and show them that you deserve the things that you want. You can't just expect them to hand everything over all the time.

Also, if you feel that you are being abused, you need to talk to someone. Not just anyone, but someone that you trust outside the home.

Answer 22

thats completely unfair :(

and not only is sleeping in their room for being caught up late one night unfair but its also kind of weird.

Im not sure if youve tried this, but incase, maybe you could try reasoning with them. like if they dont go to bed really early agreeing to go to bed at the same time as them or before them, and if they think youre gonna get back up tell them that you really want to 'earn their trust' back and you want an opportunity to show them youre gonna be responsible or something ahah.

if all else fails and you haveto sleep in there, Id purposely be rolling around and stuff in bed so that it makes it hard for them to sleep coz of the noise of you shufing about and stuff, but not so much they realise youre doing it on purpose.

oh and fake snoring could be useful if theyd fall for it.

hope they start being more reasonable for you soon! :)

Answer 23

Well i know how you feel. When you have everyone ganged up on you, and even though you seem right everyone says your wrong. I think the whole sleeping in your parents room is way out of proportion. Since no one else in your own house will hear you out or take your side, tomorrow when you stay at your grandma's you should tell her what's happening. Maybe she can talk in some sense into your parents. Tell her how you get mistreated and explain to her how your tired of it; how no one hears you out and you get ganged up on. I think that's the only choice you have in this situation. Your grandma interfering might make everything better. Have you thought about moving into your grandma's?

Answer 24

An answer to your important question.

Please call with any problem, anytime:

Girls and Boys Town "National Hotline."

Phone: [phone]  (toll free)

Email: [e-mail]

Answer 25

go to ur mom wen ur dads not around and say no offense but I'm 15. sleeping in ur room is too awkward for me... but switch it with another punishment like say instead of sleeping with u can i just sleep with my door open?