I feel uncomfortable when people give me things?

Question

I feel so horrible guilty. And I don't mean if I'm given a gift for my birthday or at christmas, because then it's an understanding that we give each other gifts of about equal value.

I mean when people give me things randomly. It makes me feel instantly guilty and I try to repay them as fast as I can. I hate feeling in debt like that. And they may not expect or want anything in return, but it makes me feel guilty anyway... I keep thinking that they'll demand something of me at a later date, holding their former kindness as a kind of "knife-to-my-throat".

What can I do to stop feeling so guilty?

Answer 1

Ahh, I am exactly the same. I wonder if, do we think we dont deserve it? That we are not worth it? Have we got a low self worth, and so automatically think that if someone does something for us or gives us something, there must be something behind it? It cant just be that people do these things for us because they WANT to?

I have just been away for a weekend with my parents. My dad does not let me pay for anything, and it makes me feel bad. I talked to mum about this, and she said that I should be pleased that he wants to take me out and treat me to things, and I explained that it makes me feel guilty, and like im sponging, and then i feel like im being ungrateful and then i feel even more guilty. She pointed out that I dont ask for these things, that i dont expect these things, so how can it be sponging? She said to accept it with graciousness, not gratefulness, and to be pleased.

Food for thought.  

Answer 2

I have that same problem. Whenever someone randomly gives me something, i never want to take it, because i makes me feel like they think i'm using them or something. It really hard to explain. But i guess just try to understand that they're giving you things because they WANT to. Not because they expect something in return.

:)

goodluck.

Answer 3

You are very lucky to have good friends that give you nice things.  there is no need to feel bad people are give gifts because they care try and exceptt that they mean well. and saythank youu that was very kind of you. try not to think there is a hidden agenda  

Answer 4

i feel the same way try explaining that to people