I feel very insecure.?

Question

I am so self conscious about myself. I feel that everyone is watching me, and when I make one mistake, say something wrong, or even misspell something, I feel like they can never look at me the same away again, and that I won't be appealing anymore, or that I won't be good enough.

Though I have had friends for years that have been unaffected by this, and time and time again, it is proven to me that this stuff doesn't matter, but I can't shake the feeling.

I can't feel better until I spend a lot of time convincing myself that things aren't going to change, and that things are just fine.

Does anyone have an idea about this? How do I overcome this, because I feel like it is stifling me.

Answer 1

Being self conscious actually happens to be a subconscious ordeal. Everyone is self conscious, however being overly self conscious can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle (yeah I'm sure you heard all this junk before, sorry).

Anyways one way to break the feeling is to (ironically) s***w up more. I don't mean to s***w yourself up to a point where you can't recover like failing grades or anything, but I mean make mistakes, do something stupid, be funny! Seriously, imperfection is an asset to the human existence.

I happen to be self conscious about my weight. I'm an athletic person who exercises an average amount to maintain some good tone, however I still feel that the little tiny amount of fat on my belly is disgusting. HOWEVER, I do not let it get the best of me. On some days of the week, I just splurge out and eat what I can until I sometimes involuntarily lie on the ground and relax.

From what you said, "things are just fine," I think you should keep this mindset within you at all times. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you say something wrong? Heck, when I type on the IM with my girlfriend, instead of saying, "gimme a sec," I sometimes type, "gimme a s*x," because c and x happen to be next to each other and it was an honest mistake. All we do is laugh about the little mistakes you do.

Next time, be sure to laugh about the mistakes you do and say, "things are just fine."

Answer 2

I'm sorry I can't answer your question, but I have this same exact thing myself (very self conscious/everyone is watching me feeling)....

Answer 3

Hey! I've felt this way too although more paranoia.  I used to think people were watching my every move, that they had video cameras in my room and were watching me and laughing at me.  If people gave me a gift i thought it was bugged and they were listening to me.  I also thought people could read my mind.  I know, it sounds as though i'm a complete lunatic but i felt that way because i have major depression and wasn't getting any help for it at the time so i became quite delusional.  Much better now though.

Anyway, its good that you are telling yourself that these things aren't real, i did that too but admittedly, like you it didn't help me much either.  I think the best thing you can do is to talk to someone about how you feel with open honesty.  Either a family member or a close friend - or if you don't feel comfortable with any of those options then perhaps the school councillor (if you are still at school).  I saw my school councillor and they were a big help for me, they were able to refer me to a psychologist who i was able to see for free.

A councillor will help you identify possible reasons why you can't shake off this feeling and why you are insecure.  It sounds as though you don't have very good self esteem or much confidence in yourself.  They will be able to help you improve this and offer you some ways that will help you deal with this feeling if it starts arising again.  Of course you don't have to see a councillor if you are uncomfortable, but talking about your feelings is very beneficial and you feel as though a big weight has been lifted off your shoulders.  They are very understanding and have a number of very usefull techniques and methods that can help you.

Be open and honest with them, trust me they're not going to think your insane or anything - a lot of people feel the same way as you and is very treatable.  I wish you all the best and hope things get better for you in the future.  Good luck!

Answer 4

I feel the same way everyday, I cant leave the house without changing my clothes over and over again and putting on makeup is a must. I feel like everyone is watching me and that some of the comments aren't very good. I'm taking paxil and valium to ease the tension some and therapy is good also.

Answer 5

you may have social anxiety. at least thats what it sounds like.

when i was around people i used to be afraid of doing something stupid and being laughed at.

do you only get this way when around people?