I feel worried and left out because "everyone else is doing it"!!?

Question

im not really that effected by peer pressure....first because i don't really have ...peers and choose not to have friends for many reasons. (perhaps when the time is right). i am 17, female, USA and have never kissed, dated or had s*x or even oral s*x. i feel as if i need to catch up because i keep my distance from guys. i don't know why but when a guy looks into my eyes im afraid he'll see something i don't want him to see (don't know what.) and anyway, i feel as if im missing out or that i need to catch up because once you're 20 its embarrassing not to have kissed or done stuff...

:( why do i feel so pressured? i want to wait till marriage for s*x but feel like a big loser because im the only one.

Answer 1

It's hard not to feel pressured when you feel like the only one. Just ignore them and stick to your guns.

Answer 2

Well you shouldn't feel pressured because everyone does things on their own terms. Not to mention you are NOT the only one who is waiting to have s*x until marriage. I suggest you get involved in a church somewhere and make some friends that have the same morals and beliefs as you. You will come to see that there are MANY people out there just like YOU. Good luck!!

Answer 3

Well... maybe it's not just feeling pressured to have s*x.. maybe you're feeling bored with "choosing not to have friends"

That's  no way to live your life.

Answer 4

Honey, do it when YOUR ready. Otherwise it'll suck anyway. Just try to make friends and hang out. Your s*x life isn't anyones business.

Answer 5

don't make yourself uncomfortable or put yourself in an uncomfortable place. you will end up with regret. keep doing what you feel best with. and if the opportunity for something comes along and it feels right.. just go with your heart.

Answer 6

You are Not a Loser at all!! You should feel very Proud of your Self.There are many women who have s*x just to get attion from a man.It is Not worth it.My Daughter in law waited till she married my Son and they was 20 at the time.s*x should be something Private between 2 people who love each other and are married.

Answer 7

you should wait until your married

Answer 8

Eh, if you are in it for love you are looking at all the wrong angles.   You should find someone that you really click with... thats the important thing, and then doing those things will strengthen your relationship as it is more about the person than it is the act.  

I really wish I didn't have feelings and c**p.  Blah

Answer 9

Your sexuality and body is nothing to do with anyone else or your peers. It's not embarassing if you are 20 and haven't done anything. You will be glasd if you have saved yourself for someone special, honestly.

Answer 10

Then wait until marriage. You are probably a bit paranoid. Stop giving yourself a headache over things that you do not really want to engage in.  A kiss is just a kiss, but the other more involved stuff can wait until you feel ready.

Answer 11

Anal, that way you get to have s*x AND keep your virginity.

Answer 12

petey says don't join the crowd if your not ready. pandas must wait until they are mature for sexual relations

Answer 13

How about this?  How about doing exactly what you have been doing - moving at your own pace.  Obviously, something inside you is not allowing you to make that move.  Pressure doesn't necessarily have to come from others.  You can place a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself!  Ask a few people if they had it to do over again, if they would have waited to become intimate with someone.  I bet you, they'd say yes.  I actually envy you right now.  Sweetheart, take your time.  If you are more worried about being around people on a social basis, then join a group that has your interests (sports, dance, church, etc.).  You appear to be suffering from loneliness, not lack of intimacy.  There is a difference!  And besides, no one (that I know of) has died from NOT having kissed or had s*x with anyone.  Again, take your time.  Don't settle for anything other that truly genuine people who can accept you for you!  Take care...

Answer 14

catch up to what exactly? possible unwanted pregnancy> possible unwanted diseases?

and how much do you think you would have to " do it" to catch up?

you claim you really have no peers...so what number would you even shoot for? 10? 20? more?

see how stupid this all sounds?

you are only 17 anyhow...use this time to make friends....its ok to go out with guys...and not have s*x with them.  Save it for someone you really love..

Answer 15

wow, sounds like you are pretty anti social and need some help. You are 17, have NO friends and can't touch the opposite s*x. You need to start becoming more social. You say you want to wait til marriage, but you will never get married if you don't become social. Think about it, how will you meet someone if you are anti social and locked in the house all day?

Answer 16

it's a mental precept known as the "Last American Virgin", aside from the lack of sexual activity you probably like who you are

Answer 17

You are not everyone else and everyone else won't feel your pain or loss.  Only you!

I never understood peer pressure.  I believe in thinking for myself and making my own decisions, regardless of the outcome.  At least, I will be responsible for me and not someone else.  I cannot live with someone else's decision or life style determining who I must be.  

You may feel left out now - you're only 17.  One day when you have gained some wisdom and seen what life truly is about, you will not be so easily swayed by other people's opinions and mistakes.

Incidentally, you are not missing out on s*x.  It has been around since one day and will be here even after you're gone.  Meaning, it will be here next year and the year after that, and so on.

Answer 18

I was your age and felt pressured. I felt like I needed to do something about it and i did. i had s*x. it was the worst mistake of my entire life. I am 23 and i still regret it to this day, my fiance is a virgin and we arent going to have s*x until we are married. I feel like a gave a part of my away that belonged to him. Please, please, dont let anyone pressure you. You are not the only one out there i promise.

Answer 19

Oral s*x is s*x.  What part of oral s*x isn't s*x?

Hint: the operative word is "s*x".

Anyway, its not all its cracked up to be.  If you are that tortured about it then you should see a psychologist for evaluation.

Answer 20

Nothing wrong with waiting till marriage if that is what you want.

But, don't use it as an excuse not to get out there and make friends and date.