im 18, a high school graduate, and ready to go to college in a couple of months, but y dont i feel happy, or at least satisfied.
my parents got divorced when i was about 11, and to this day no one has never really talked to me about it, about how i felt. im the oldest of three brothers, so i had to pretty much give up my adolescent life and most of my high school years in order to dedicate my time to taking of them while my mom worked.
and no one seems to appreciate it, i have few, if any, memories of appreciation. i mean i graduated hs wth honors, and am going to ucsanta barbara with a 3.5 gpa. yet the make me feel like i didnt do good enough. instead theyre making me feel bad by asking me y am i moving away, y didnt i go to school nearby.
and now as i wait to go to school and have had time to reflect on things, i realized that i have felt worthless. i have no job, any possible gfs i could have had ive pushed away, and now it seems my own friends r tryin to avoid me
i feel unmotivated, unneeded. im not at the point here i wanna hurt myself, but if someone wanted to take my life, i dont think i would put up that much of a fight
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