I filed for divorce & we're separated. Should I also press charges for an assault that occurred in May?

Question

Our property is already divided (easy since we both have nothing), we don't have kids, and it should be cut and dry. However, my husband did bloody my nose when we were having a fight this summer. I took a picture so I have proof. I also have tape recordings of him yelling at me and demeaning me. Should I use this to press charges or would it just cause more trouble? Do you think it would be obvious that I'm just trying to 'get' to him since I waited so long to do it, and even lived with him for a few months after? But it is still assault, right? He has cheated on me and is unremorseful...just an all-around jerk. Am I being vengeful or would this just be what he deserves and would teach him a lesson?

Answer 1

I dated a woman once, then she told me that her ex was stalking her. I believed her, all her stories, how he hit her ( she had pics too ) he, verbally abused her and so on. When I went to her house she would out of the blue, jump to the window. Then she would close the blinds and say her ex was outside and watching her, stalking her.

I went outside to confront him if he was out there and she would stop me. I looked out the window and I seen nothing, no one in cars or in bushes or anywhere. I went with her to her job , she was a professional dance instructor. She then told me that her ex was a dance instructor too. I said, o.k.

Then she told me he worked at the same place she does and has been working for the 6 months we have been dating. And that he works in the next room at the same scheduled time frame. I said, Hmmmm?

I told her I was leaving her. I don't like the fact that she was not honest with me about this issue. She quit her job at the place and got a new job at another place and told me to come back. I said, o.k.

Then one day I came home from work, she was not home, ( we moved in together ) and went to bed. it was late and I worked a double shift. She called me on the phone and said she was at a party with our friends for so and so's birthday. I said o.k. I will see you later. She said she wanted me to come to the party, I said no, I am too tiered.

She kept calling me, over and over telling me to come to the party. she then started getting angry and calling me names. Really mean names. I said, you better stop. she said, f*ck off. I went back to bed.

About 3 am she came home, she woke me up. She started screaming and yelling at me about making her look bad in front of her friends because I did not go the the party. She spit in my face and kicked me. Then she got a plate from the kitchen and thru it at me and it hit my face and cut me bad.

I was in shock and just grabbed her and through her to the ground and tried to stop her from grabbing more plates.  when I did that, she hit her head and I think cut her head on the table. it was glass so the ends are not easy to see. She picked up a candle holder and was going to throw it at me. I told her to calm down. she was in this rage that was scary, man, it was crazy!

I got her when she looked like she was about to throw it at me despite what I said. I pulled her to the front door and thru her outside and locked the door. she banged and kicked the door. I told her I was calling the police and she left. I never called the police.

The next day. I got all her stuff and put it outside. The lease was in my name. I called her to tell her that her stuff was outside and get it and it was over. She never answered, so I left the message. I never called her work or cell. however, I got calls on my cell and home phones, all hours of the day and night for about two months after.

The moral of this story? Woman can be crazy and play the innocent part many times and they do. They can cause hurt and pain to a man easily when their guard is down. You never expect your woman to smash you with a plate. They could be the ones who are doing the stalking and telling everyone that will listen the opposite. When all of this happened, I had a sick feeling in my stomach and I am getting one now.

Peace.

Answer 2

I'm pretty sure their not going to do much since its from june, and if you just happen to bring it up during your divorce, they might even think you made the pics up to bring him down.

Answer 3

don't think of it as revenge or teaching him a lesson think of it as saving another woman's life.......if he can do it to you he can do it to someone else.....he'll have a record of it forever and that could stop someone from being with him.......do it!!

Answer 4

Honestly your just trying to be vindictive.  Get over it and move on and try to be happy in your life and forget about this guy.

Answer 5

AS a Husband and a man, A real man would never hit and treat a woman like that, 2nd you could have did something I say in the first 2 weeks and told the police you was scared and waited so long, but that was way back in may, I think it is a bit to long, You may sue for pain and suffering in small claims, but not sure if you will get a lot. depends on the judge, talk to a lawyer, many do one freebie, just find out what you can do.

Good luck

Answer 6

Check this website if you want to: http://divorcehelper.net/

Answer 7

I was with my husband for 15 years (married 11yrs).  There was a lot of fighting, and some times I lashed out in frustration too which I do regret. when our marriage was coming to an end my husband did the unthinkable and tied me to our bed as I slept.  It took a while to just get my head around that and even though I was angry and hurt as a christian I tried to forgive and move on but 6 months later he created a situation where I had to address what happened with the police.  The initial officer was great but the SVU basically said "why bother"  I wasn't prepared to turn my life upside down going to court with that attitude from the start.  You however have something on tape.  I would at the very least consult with a lawyer and the police and ask them what you should do.  Too many women live with this day in and day out because they didn't do something about it when it happened and some women don't live to talk about it at all.  I have two young kids and so I have to deal with my ex for several years to come, but you don't have to deal with yours so make sure you take care of yourself first.  All the best    

Answer 8

Anne, you are in a very hard situation. Marriage is so hard to make work because of all the work it takes. Here......come join us for the support and anwers you need. @

freebibleemail.com  click on prayer....I hope to see you there. I am

Jason the carpenter  

Answer 9

No.

No cop would arrest him and no DA would prosecute him for something that happened in May.

Answer 10

This is definitely assault, and I think you should file charges. Who knows, he could treat someone else like this and get away with it. To file charges, you're sending a message that it is NOT okay to beat up women, no matter what.

I'm not going to lie, there is a lot of unfounded, sexist c**p that people will throw at you during an assault hearing. People honestly still believe that it's okay to do in some cases, or that any woman who files charges was "asking for it" or that they're trying to gain something.

The evidence that you have is almost flawless. I think it's something you should do, to show him that he no longer has power over you. It will also get you a lot of closure, you'll feel stronger and begin to feel like you can put the pieces of yourself that he broke back together again.

Standing up for yourself in the face of adversity can be so, so hard. But the benefits are limitless.

Good luck! I wish you all the best. Be strong, you're not alone.

Answer 11

Leave well enough alone and yes it would seem like spite to me sorry your marriage is ending but now maybe you will find a great guy!

Answer 12

Why keep him in your life any longer than you have to...  Trust me, his violence will follow him, and he will pay.  karma.    

Move on and learn from this.  The sooner you are away from him, the better!  You don't need the drama.

*Tell yourself you are worthy and you do not need to be abused*