I find it discriminatory.. Do you?

Question

when I said on this forum that I wish to be a househusband to a career woman, there were lot of ridicules, even from the women. My first question is that in 21st century, when we are talking about equality of genders, then why is it acceptable for a woman to be housewife, and not for a man to be househusband?

There are quite a few women only who have fancied this idea theoretically but they are not sure in practical life. In short, I have not found any single woman, who seriously wanna pursue this lifestyle. Can I conclude that though women are talking about equality, but when it comes to take up the sole responsibility for family finances, they are not confident or there are some other reasons. Men have taken responsibility single-handedly since ages and even now majority of men are successfully taking care of family finances solely, what is wrong with Modern Women even after pursuing successful careers?

Answer 1

I think the guy should be the provider and the woman should take care of the home. If both parties must work, then both help take care of the home. But the woman shouldn't be the only one working because it totally negates the man's place-they don't get respect, and it basically emasculates him. Plus guys don't have as high of a cleanliness standard, so the housework tends to suck.

s***w Feminists!

Answer 2

You just have to face the fact the most people (women and men) perfer traditional gender roles. And despite what a vocal minority of people say, most women like masculine men and most men like feminine women.

Answer 3

Despite reference to gender equality and what not, there are certain social unwwritten rules that dont change. Just like men should be the ones opening doors for women,holding their seat for them to sit down e.t.c.

This is not to say that the call for equality is inconsistent but life always has exceptions.

Answer 4

Maybe women are less likely to be comfortable with being financially responsible for another adult of sound mind and body. If you want to be a househusband, find a wife who wants you.

Answer 5

It is discriminatory.

I plan on staying single (I'm a lot happier when I'm by myself, I breathe easier and I get more done: NOONE is worth giving that up for) , which obviously means that I'm going to be responsible for my own finances. If I wasn't, though, I'd be ok with my partner staying home while I worked.

Answer 6

It is not "discriminatory". Discrimination would be if you were forced to work outside the house. If you want to be a househusband, good for you. You just gotta find a willing partner and work on this mutually.

Think about how society judges women who decide to pursue their career full-time after having children. There will always be people who disapprove and even openly ridicule you choice. A secure, confident, independent adult should try to enlighten and then go their own way if the ignorants still persist.

Answer 7

You should do what you feel is right for you.  It really depends on how your relationship is with your wife.  Is she OK with this idea and is she willing share finances with you.  It  sounds really nice but not having your own money could be a little touchy.   Are both of you pretty sensible or does one spend a lot more than another.  You would also have to have a lot of communication to make sure the two of you understand how the finance thing will go and what will your responsibilities are and what hers will be.  Are their children involved?  Sounds good to me if all checks out.   Here is a question to ask yourself....When is come time for Christmas or a birthday will you be able to just take money out or the account and buy her something say $300-400 dollars or are you going to have to ask her.  Will she be okay with that.   Here is another question to ask yourself.  If lets just say your mother is coming down from another state and your want to take her out while she is here will your wife have  problem with you taking you mom, dad, and little sister out to Disneyland, out to eat, or shopping for souvenirs.  If your wife has a pretty good job and money is not a problem then go for it.  Just make sure the two of you communicate these things and know your boundaries before you get into the situation,.  Good luck.

Answer 8

There are some women who dont mind it and like the idea...some that have lived it.

I did for a while, husband/then BF got out of the military and wanted to take a break.  He was a house hubby for about a year.  I was fine with that, my company was making plenty of money the little girl was thrilled and it was kinda nice to have dinner ready on nights that i worked late.  After a while he got bored and wanted to go back to work.

i didnt have a problem with it at all, and I can understand why men like having a SAH wife...just dealing with work is the fun end of the deal.

In note to other response, he isnt/wasnt less manly b/c of this.  I didn't respect him less (do you respect sahm's less, I thought it was real work make up your minds)

Only reason we stopped living as such is b/c he wanted to, which i dont blame him.  I wouldnt want to sah forever either.

Answer 9

I'm more than welcome to the idea of fathers staying home to raise the children. I am a career woman and hope that my husband would stay home if we have kids, at least for a couple of years.

Answer 10

Good question.

The old double standard at work for ya!

There's always something that even the most flawless "rule" will not apply to.

Keep your head up you'll find that woman!  I, however, love the idea of being taken care of... maybe that's just it. Women want to have their choices... but they don't want to be forced into doing anythng?  Who knows.  This is  a rambling answer.

Answer 11

I really don't think it's about taking full responsibility for the finances that is the problem, it's the traditional gender roles that come into play. We've all to a certain extent been programmed as to what gender roles are, and it always seems when those roles are challenged is when there is negative feedback.

It is discriminatory - if a woman should be able to find her path with career and family certainly a man should be able to do the same. I don't see why there is a need to ridicule, as it's important to access the needs of YOUR family.

You should do what is best for your needs and you family. What others think is actually irrelevant.

Answer 12

I think that it is useful to frame this as an economic question.

The woman wants to maximize her opportunity for gain.  Sometimes she does that by marrying well, and being a housewife.  Sometimes she does that by working hard and not having children.  Gain is a fuzzy word because it means different people.

I think that a man who advertises that he wants to be a househusband is poorly marketing himself.  There is an implicit "laxity" in the advert an odor of "serve me".  In a more frequent definition of gain there is less of an idea of being a servant to others, and more of having them serve you.  The wealthy tend to have servants.. not be them.

You can be seen as not inviting the woman to wealthy, but poverty.  Of course they are all going to say no.

Its not a matter of a false standard on their part.  

Its a matter of not understanding inter-gender communication and not thinking through the situational economics on your part.

Why is your raising her kids more profitable to her?

Why is your housekeeping going to keep her happy?

How ironic that its permissible for women to ask these questions of men, but not of men to ask these questions of women.  It shows that the pendulum swings first to one extreme then to the other, and it does not (and often can not) stay long at a balanced point in the middle because of social momentum.

Answer 13

Yes it is discriminatory.. if I could have that kind of set up and have a real house husband that made my home a warm comfortable  place to come home to and cooked me food and did the c**p chores.. I would literally thank God and kiss his butt daily.

I am married and we both have to work. If I had my choice I would work and have it just that way.

Answer 14

It depends where you live. I know a few men in metropolitan areas that are care takers for their children bec. their spouses make more than they do. But these men work hard to raise their children, take care of their homes and in no way lazy to work for their family if they have to.

What you want is what everyone wants regardless of gender. Who does not want to just sit around at home and not work? It is however extremely hard to find someone who would support all the finances even for people who are ridiculously attractive. I personally would love to have a lot of money so my husband and I don't have to work as hard. If you can find someone who's willing to support you then why does it matter what people think? Why would you care? You'll be at home watching TV and they're at work all day. I think it might be you who has the most problem with this.

Answer 15

Yes,it is discriminatory,and i do I think it's all about making as much money as possible. I was pretty much a 'housewife' since I was 16.I did have part time jobs here and there,but it was my responsibility to be home with my 7 children. I had more than enough work to do at home anyway. We did have to make a lot of sacrifices to live on one income. I don't see why the roles could not be reversed,but there is no reason to be at home when there are no children to be raised. That's just being lazy.

Answer 16

I am interviewing.

Do you keep a spotless and tidy house?

Do you cook and bake?

Will you still change the oil in the car?

And can you use your tools when necessary?

Answer yes and you should have no trouble finding the position you are seeking.

You just have to decide if you want a Doctor, a Lawyer or a CEO.

Good luck. It pays to advertise.

C. :)

Answer 17

"In short, I have not found any single woman, who seriously wanna pursue this lifestyle. "

I would be very happy with it, were it economically feasible. Unfortunately, I live in an area of the U.S. where the cost of living is about as high as it can get, and unless you have a seven-figure salary, both partners have to work.

But I think it's a perfectly valid choice for a man.

Answer 18

It is very discriminatory.

You see, long ago, men felt they needed to be "manly", and they needed to all be the same. Hunters, providers, money-earners, farmers etc. Now there is a democracy and equality among gender, race etc.

Do you see what's happening? More men are becoming who they always have been. They're coming out. Whether it's their feminine side, whether it's their sexuality etc.

I'm not saying you're g*y. I'm saying that you are acting like a true man. You are who you are and you're not putting up a front. Men have always been like you - they've just always had hid it.

Answer 19

Yes, you do have that option. Find a women that would be agreeable to that arrangement that has a healthy income for the both of you.

Of course, you would be responsibe for the household and the tasks that it includes.

Answer 20

househusbands are my idols, because they oppose the 'bum husbands' who do nothing and let the women suffer all the pains: do houseworks, make money, bear child, etc. while digging their women's money.

but sad, that very few men can have the heart as yours. most men (more than 80%) in your shoes prefer to be the bum husbands, in fact.

however, according to personal observations, career woman + househusband always have boyish daughters and girlie sons. so it's kinda creepy in that aspect.

Answer 21

I agree with you to an extant.

I don't believe in any partner staying in the home and relying financially purely on the other partner, but you have a right to equality. Men are constantly being attacked if they don't fit a certain role. Sexism against men is as old as time itself much like sexism against women. But, men have never fought for their rights and that is why society as a whole looks down upon men who are different than the accepted social role. Even women do this not because they fear to take responsibility, but because they have also been conditioned by society to feel that they can do anything but men have certain roles they must fulfill.

My friend's dad (back in elementary school) was a househusband. I remember thinking it was rather q***r, but he was a great guy. I think this is when I first understood sexism against men when I heard my mom make a mean joke about the guy.

Answer 22

I would loathe to have a husband taking care of the house when im slaving away at work. Success or no success, i certainly dont' want a man who would freeload off me. If I'm the CEO of company and I can pay for a nanny to care for the kids and take care of the house then I'd be the first to hire her. But for my husband to stay home, nope get your @ss to work pal. Is it discrimmination, not at all, gender rolls no matter what century we're in are innate in us. Our physique, the fact that we carry babies and have female ovaries is the reason for it.

Answer 23

Yes it is discriminatory.  Double standard...it's the "do as I say not as I do."

Answer 24

There are soo many things in life that are just unfair to women, they have to get their period they have to go through birth and are expected to be the ones to do all the house work and everything so i wouldnt complain... that is the least they can do to let women be at home or have it accepted that they do stay at home. Did you ever think of that? So dont complain when one thing isnt fair that has to do with gender.

Answer 25

Of course is discrimination!. Is another example of how gender roles affects men too.