Question:

I found a thong in my son's room again.?

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Sam, my 14 year old was out and i was tidying his room up. And under his bed there was a bright pink thong. I don't know what the reason was. Should or talk to him, it might alienate him?

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well looks like he got laid ,

make sure he knows about condoms

and tell him to find a classier girl than one who wears a bright pink thong .
Report (0) (0) | earlier
it would be one thing if you had found the underwear once. but it's a little odd that you've found eyeliner, a purse, AND the underwear, more than once. did the bag have anything in it that you could use to identify the girl?

idk what to say, because it seems wierd that he has all that girl stuff. maybe he's just curious, and experimenting with his sexuality. i thought i was bi for a while... people experiment as teens.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Maybe get an adult male family friend, or an uncle, or someone like that who can talk to him about it ; they can tell him you know, but let them have a man to man talk to try figure out whats going on...but don't then go back to them to get the gossip. Just let it be that way, as if he has confided in them and not you, then atleast you know he's got the adult advise, and if he was to find out you knew what he said to them, that may alienate him..
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Yeah ask him about it, if he is having girls over then it should stop him as he will know you know.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Is he home alone during the day or after school? If you don't feel right talking to him (even though i think you should) than try to get someone over there so he is not alone. Nowadays people have to watch out because kids are having s*x younger and younger. Try to talk to him about it and see what he says.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
umm u sed again? have u found a thong in his room before? either way i think that u need to talk to him about this cuz if u don't sooner or later he''ll be introducing u to his pregnant girlfriend nd that wud be really crazy actually the fact that u clean his room for him nd found a thong is already crazy but yea TALK TO UR SON PLZ it will only get worse if u don't u may find sum thing bigger next time ..like for instance sum thing that shows he's being sexual

good luck!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I would talk to him about it. Especially if you have not had the s*x talk with him yet. If he can't be trusted to be home without having s*x than you should probably arrange from him to start an after school program like a sport or something.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I would just leave it alone honestly.

Unless you have reason to believe he's actually doing something wrong, it will only embarrass him to talk to you about it.

Seriously, this isn't something to worry about right now. He'll come to you with it if he needs you to intervene.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
Get the straight p**p on why it's there. Be like "Dude... Why did you have thong under your bed..." Then confuse him from being all hip and young people talking to talking like a stern parent. "I want an answer this minute young man!" That'll be like a blind shot to him, then he will have to tell the truth. Confuse him, he won't know how to lie properly in the situation. Haha, works with my imaginary unicorn children.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Dont be scared that it mite alienate him, beacuse u will then regret it when he tell u he has an STD. and why is he going out with a sl*t that wears a thong anyway...God, she musta had loadsa partners!

have a nice day hun.XX
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I think you already know - call it mother's instinct or just knowing. Looks as though Sam has been having a girl/girls round when you're not there and clothes have been coming off....

You need to talk to him, matter of factly and make sure he knows you're onto him. It's more than likely once he's been scared by the fact you know, everything will come spilling out.

Then it's upto you to decide how you want to proceed with your findings.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Leave him alone. If he found some condoms under YOUR bed would you want him to talk to you about it? I don't think so. Forget you ever found it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Only you know if it will alienate him or not. Do you have an open relationship where you can talk about s*x or not? Have you had the talk with him? If not, why?

   14 is a prime age for masturbation. He is probably using the thong as a prop shall we say. He needs to know that it is not okay to take girls underwear. Nor ask for it. It is totally inappropriate. At the same time he needs to know that you can respect his privacy. Their hormones are raging at this age. And for several years to come.

   Give him some guidelines or rules so he will know what is okay with you.. I expect he spends a lot of time in the shower or bathroom.

   I have 3 boys, 22, 18 and 6. I've been through it with the 2 older ones. The oldest one was cool with the conversation. The middle one was a little freaked out, but I let him know that it was okay to ask me ANYTHING. That's what Mom's are for. Now he's okay with it. I had the s*x talk with each of the older ones as soon as they had their first girlfriend. I

   Make sure any other children in the house won't accidentally walk in on him. You don't need that!
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
no he's not a cross dresser but you found the eyeliner and a handbag as well as a thong? that doesnt make sence.

for a 14 year old boy to have girls underwear in his room is fine, i can totally understand that for...reasons i wont mention to his mom.

but eyeliner and a handbag? no sorry, somethings fishy about that. theres no...sexual meaning to eyeliner or a handbag.

so uneless he got them all for a girl for a gift i believe he does something with those things you dont want to know about.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
You have to remember that he is a teenager. and less then 1% of people save it for marriage. so i would say talk to him. but dont freak out if he says he is sexually active. just accept it and make him promise you he will be safe about it..and make him clean his own room wou wont be there to take care of him forever.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Its normal to worry about this. Your son is growing up, and though it is early, he may be having s*x. You can't tell him not to, its not a goood idea, as it will just make him do it more.The best way is to confront him and make sure he has protection. You don't want to be a grandma!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
DON'T talk to him about it. If you do he will feel like you are rooting through his personal things.

He will talk to you when HE wants too IF he wants too. If he doesn't then leave it.

He's probably got it off his girlfriend of his friends are messing about.

He might be 'nicking' it off one of his girl mates for a laugh.

Don't make a big deal of it or get worried it happens a lot with boys that age.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
So maybe hes a cross dresser!? If he is, so what!? But they probably belong to his GF, i know loads of people that swap underwwear.

oh, and just cause he has them doesnt mean hes having s*x!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Honestly, at tha age of 14, knowing a lot of 14 year old boys n how they think, he is probably having s*x. If you haven't had tha s*x talk with him then you probably should.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
If you found eyelineer, thongs, and a girls hand bag, it sort of sounds like he ahd a girl over in his room. Maybe don't be so blunt, but ask him about them, Act as if you're interested more in if he has a new girlfriend than about the thong, it will ease the tention and he'll find it easier to asnwer you. if you're hard on him, he'll think he's in trouble and lie. That's what i would probably do gooooddd luck!!! :)

p.s. Boys will be boys! don't worry. :)
Report (0) (0) | earlier
if you think it is his girl friends, then just make sure he is using protection

if he doesnt have a girlfriend, leave him, wait for him to tell you he cross dresses or, he may not tell you. but it may be something that embarrasses him, so i would avoid bringing it up
Report (0) (0) | earlier
It's natural for a 14 year old boy to be interested in female and female attire. He probably found it or took it out of lost property at school, don't worry, its totally natural. Its the same as say when you were a 14 year old girl and you might steal the boxers of some lad you fancy at school lol
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Your son has girls underwear in his room, and you don't know if you should talk to him about it? I think it is time to have a REALLY BIG talk with him, before he is trying to figure out how to tell you his girlfriend is pregnant! And yes, kids are not only having s*x at 14, they are getting pregnant!! And getting all sorts of STD's that are out there waiting for them. You need to talk to your son!!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
hes 14 shouldnt he be cleaning his own room?

maybe he likes thongs, maybe he wears them, or maybe it was from a girl, who knows.

but if you're concerned, don't ask him why it was there or whose it is.

that will just make him feel awkward and make it seem like you are intruding into his private life and invading his privacy.

maybe its about time to give him the birds and the bees talk.

even if its not a girls, he still needs the talk because its going to happen sooner or later. at least you will feel comfortable in knowing he knows about protection.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
He should be cleaning his own room first of all, but I would wash it with his laundry and set the pile of folded clothes on his bed with them right on top. Then as calm as can be just ask if he has any questions, needs condoms and to please be careful. They are going to do it, just make sure he is smart and safe about it.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Sorry I must have left it thier, haha, Only joking, If i was you i would talk to his brother cause he would know if he is home with him.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
just let it go, im 15 and if my mom/dad/parents brought it up i would want to die, if you have other children about the same age or older ask them to talk about it with him, especially and older brother, cause brothers are always close, if my bro approached me about it i would be open with him, anyone else i would just make up some lackluster lie
Report (0) (0) | earlier
you also found eyeliner and a handbag?

either you're wrong about him being a cross dresser, or he has a very forgetful girlfriend.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
talk to him but use the discussion to bond with him, ask if hes dating someone. he might think youre butting into his life but just be clear that you want to get to know your own son better, and that you want to be closer to him. it cant hurt!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Well if you found a thong, eyeliner and a handbag there is either one of two things going on.

1. He likes to dress up drag queen style.

2. he has been seeing girls.

I personally think its probably number 2. Girls leave lots of things behind - I do it all the time. Its fine to have left an eyeliner or two on the side accidentally or even dropped her handbag....but a thong? This means there has been a certain level of nakedness going on and as your son is only 14, I suggest having a word about it to him. He is probably embarresed that he's got a girlfriend but when you talk to him, explain you don't mind girls coming around or if he dates but let you meet her first. When you do meet her, be really nice and friendly so you don't deter Sam from bringing other girls home. Secrets should not be in a family home.

Good Luck
Report (0) (0) | earlier
In my experience a guy asked for a girls thong if he was or wanted to have s*x with her! I think you should talk to him about s*x, if you haven't already, and I would bring up the things that you found in his room, just keep an open mind, because trust me you could drive him away in a second if you are judgmental or come across that way.

Good Luck!
Report (0) (0) | earlier