I found holes in my bathroom door, how should I confront my 2 boys?

Question

recently, i noticed that there were little holes in our bathroom door.cause i saw a light coming from outside when the lights in the bathroom are off. .i always take a shower every night before going to bed and noticed that i could be seen in the shower through the hole. i have'nt told my husband yet cause he might really get furious. i know little boys are curious about the female anatomy but boring a hole is too much and the fact that one of my two sons might actually be spying on me is just hard to believe.i could not suspect anyone else doing it because i only live with my husband and 2 kids ( they are 9 and 11yo). by the way,I don’t think I’m that interesting for someone to look at, cause I dress conservatively and a little overweight so why would someone bother checking me out and bore holes anyway?i hope I may be wrong, cause I feel awful and awkward with this situation. I want them to grow up to be normal and healthy kids. how should i open it up without embarrasing them?

Answer 1

maybe it isn't them. i mean... how could they have made a hole in the door. ask your husband to hide and see if one of them comes along. if they don't, then watch the next night. so this for a week. if none of them come, then it's probably not them or they only did it before. cover up the hole (as in... get it fixed. don't tempt them).

tell your husband your merely suspicious and not to jump to conclusions and get mad.  

Answer 2

ask both of them watch faces to see if they are lying

Answer 3

Make up a Story about another family.

The boys in that family are peeping Toms, it was their friends Mother.

We can very nicely and convincingly bring tears in the eyes by emotionally counseling any one. Take their word that it will surely anger any friend if some one eve-drops or peeps into the private life of a friend's mother, sister. This will make them good gentleman.

They could easily confess their crime if you are on the same level and friendly. They will also talk about their friends, which is also a very important part in bringing up children. If their friends come and meet you they are in right company.

There was a similar case with a child whose mother complained to us. Now the boy has become very friendly.

Answer 4

i wonder your conclusion.  why not your husband ?  Even children are your children.  There is no chance about the kids.  it is your wrong calculation. please change it and without any doubt, it is the work of your husband.  whether your sister will come home at times ?  or any other relations will come ?  Go by this way.

or if you don't want to rise this matter further, just ignore this immediately.  who will check you except your husband.  you know, some husbands are having such a bad habit of seeing their wife while they took bathe.

Instead of coming to us, you yourself can do spying by opening the door immediately while taking bathe.  instead finding fault on children is not good. First set right the door in order.

Answer 5

maybe you can say to them this

i have an idea, lets put holes in your bathroom shower

if one of them says ya that sounds great or something like that, or looks scared, then tell them how you feel about the holes, and that it is very wrong and you don't want them to ever do it again. then ask them why they are interested in the female body(if that is the case)

good luck

Answer 6

well first time just repair the holes without tellig your hudband... check out the height of hole that might tellyou who bored it... and it also will give a clear message that you know whats happening to the door but keep a check if holes reappear... and if they do well time to confront...

Answer 7

Repair the holes and don't say anything.

Look, they know it is wrong and probably already feel guilty about it. If you repair the holes without a comment, they will get the message. If you have to, you can make a simple comment about having no idea how those holes got there, but you hope they don't come back.

This is a very confusing time for young boys- hormones, social pressures, the Internet, schoolyard chats, personal development, etc. You may want to talk to your husband about a comfortable way to talk to them about 'things'- but let a little time pass so it is not connected to this incident.

My suggestions... for what they are worth...

- Don't talk to both together. There is almost no way to make that seem natural.

- Pull the 11 year old aside first.

- I told my kid something like I knew he was looking at things on the internet and in magazines, and that it was perfectly natural to be curious. He asked a few questions, we talked for a bit, and my goal was to reinforce that it was natural and normal, although private.

- We talked about how it can become too big a part of your life, like eating ice cream an candy all of the time, and then it can become a problem- like any good thing taken too far.

- You get the idea, I'm sure!

Good luck!

Answer 8

as you are walking past the bathroom door one day and one of your kids is near start looking at it and ask them what it could be? Do it at different times between your two boys, your there mother you will soon see which one has the guilty face! Then explain to them that they may be curious but it really isn't on and explain to them its an invasion of privacy and how would they like it if some did it to them? Hope this helps to be honest i think it will be more embarrassing for you than them! If that also puts it in perspective! Oh one more thing when i was a child i remember i always used to wonder what the opposite s*x was like, saying that i never went to those extremes t.v soon explained it for me! It doesn't matter if you are good to look at or not, its not in a sexual way at all its in a more 'oh so that's what a girl looks like!'