I found my 12 year old smoking marijuana and all he will do is say, "lets just say i know a guy" what do i do?

Question

i found my 12 year old son in the basment smoking

Answer 1

Make it VERY clear that you will not allow drugs in your home and given that he is under 18 and your responsibility and living under your roof he is under no circumstances to be using while living with you.

Also do explain that while you understand it is possible that he only wants to use pot and only recreationally that his supplier may be pressuring other people to use harder drugs that can really harm them and that if he has not yet that his ``guy`` might do the same to him one day. That the guy is not his friend -- his motivation is money and if he feels your son is not spending enough money with him there could be trouble.

Tell him that even if pot alone is not a big deal (and not everyone believes that) it is very illegal and whether or not we agree with the government`s war on drugs you will not fight the law and win on this one if you are caught by the authorities. That simply  using pot could land him in lockup for years -- which would be much worse than what you are going to do.

Have the talk be fairly low key and like you are really  on his side but you have to prevent the dangers.

Consequences: very limited access to the basement. Checking in and out when he goes anywhere. You have access to his pockets and backpack etc. and you start doing random drug tests. Say this all relatively calmly but firmly and that he is getting off easy -- that if he had been caught at school or by a cop you would not be able to get him out of some serious consequences that could affect his future.

And keep the lines of communication open. This may be a conversation that comes up later in different forms but if he feels he can be open with you -- you will both be better off.

Answer 2

Don't be too hard, or else he will start sneaking around. Limit access to basement. Get him to volunteer for something; keep him busy and he won't have time to smoke.

Answer 3

Wow 12 years old and he "knows a guy".  To be honest, the drug talk may not have done me any good.  The problem isn't really that he's smoking weed, it's that what smoking weed will lead up to.  Other drugs to try, him being high and doing criminal things he should not.  His grades may slip, skipping school to go get high.  It's not only the effects of what the drug does to your body, but other things too.  The only thing my parents could have done to stop me from trying weed was to lock me in my room and never let me go out.  However, he's 12 and there may be a chance to get through to him.  Limit his basement use, make him keep his bedroom door open always.  Limit his time outside the house to just at his house.  No, he can't go to his friends house but his friend can come over.  Yes, he might rebel but it's worth a try.  Talk to the principal at school and let them know.  Maybe there is activity at the school they are not aware of.  If all else fails, put him in a rehab program.  Yes, it may cost money and time but I wish more parents did this when their kids were young and maybe we wouldn't have so many druggies out there.  

And whatever you decide to do, please don't say it's only weed - what's the harm.  Like I said, this can and will lead up to other things, not just the harm of weed on the body.

Answer 4

They have over the counter drug tests, you should let him know it is not allowed in your house and explain why he should not get involved in things like that..exe what happens to people that do drugs, maybe even have a cop come to the house and talk to him.

The only reason why I would get so serious about this is it is a gateway drug and if he is starting this at 12 I don't want to know what he would be doing at 16. Nip this in the bud now, but let him know that you love him even though he might not believe it now.

Answer 5

12?!?!?! im 12 and i still play with dolls!!!!!! wow um treaten to call the cops!!!! lol i really dont know srry

Answer 6

smack him n say   SAY NO TO DRUGS lol

Answer 7

take him to the police =(

Answer 8

Try to see if you can take him to a rehab center.  Not for him, but to scare him from the affects of drug addiction.  Personally marijuanna, is not that big a deal. It's the drugs that stem from weed that you need to be concerned with.

Answer 9

Make him feel guilty (e.g by saying if you dont tell me other people may get permanent damage and that the drugs are damaging you and so he aint your friend so why are you protecting him)

Answer 10

Give hugs , not drugs