I found out my 14 year old?

Question

has sent racey photos of herself to a 15 year boy, ( not nude but suggestive) What do I need to do to prevent these kind of actions. I cried my eyes out when I found them. HELP

Answer 1

Talk to her, investigate further, Ask her more than Tell

Answer 2

talk to her about it and what might happen if this continues..

Answer 3

Monitor her computer use more closely, and have a talk about modesty with her - tell her that she will put her own price tag on herself - if she acts in a way unworthy of respect she won't be respected.

Answer 4

Calm down, so she likes the boy...so what? It's not like he's 20 or anything.

It's the 21st century version of 'kiss-chase' that we all used to play in the school yard. Harmless flirting. Tell her you know, and tell her to be careful about taking things further.

Failing that you could lock your daughter in her room for the rest of her life to make sure she doesn't do anything that you think might be unacceptable.

Answer 5

Take her d**n phone or camera or pc or whatever she's using and smash that S**t to show her your serious.  Then have an obviously long-overdue converstion about self respect.   What the h**l is wrong with you people?  Are you too d**n worried about being your kid's "friend" that you can't act like a parent?

Answer 6

you need to talk to her and tell her it's wrong and also get in touch with the boy i would ban her computer for a while.

Answer 7

You need to keep a eye on her internet activity, a lot of teen boys and girls send pictures all the time even ones they shouldnt be sending. All you need to do is sit down and talk to her about it and just let her know how u feel and u dont wont her doing that. If she dont like it, or keeps doing it then just take her pc away including her phone that has a cam on it. Hope this work good luck and wish you the best.

Answer 8

i would take her computer away until she can give u a good reason y she sent them to him. AND in my eyes there should be no good reason to send that kinda pictures to a boy. She should have to explain her self and dont just take sorry i did wrong as an answer. JUST reading this makes me worried about her and thinking about how could she even want her body put out on the internet like that. Yes she may have ONLY sent them to him but whos to say wut he will do with them. good luck with all of this and god bless you.

Answer 9

How did you find out?  Were you looking at her phone or email WITH her knowledge?   Were you told by a trustworthy person?  If so, you have every reason to confront her calmly and tell her this is not OK and if she does it again you will take away her phone or computer privileges.  You can  put parental controls on her computer by installing software that lets you block certain web sites of certain types of content.  (I don't know if that works for sending photos).  Depending on the phone company you use, you may be able to monitor her text and picture messaging online.  She will know if you do this, however, so tell her ahead of time.  

If you found out in a less honest way (say by looking at her phone without her knowledge) then you're in a tricky position.  To confront her you'll either have to lie about how you found out or admit that you were spying on her. Either way she will feel hurt and betrayed.  Some teens take that very hard, and it may be difficult or impossible to restore her trust in you.  

I talked to my daughter about the issue in general, saying "some kids send nude pictures...." and explained that this was not acceptable and could result in sexual exploitation and possibly harm.  I told her that copies of all messages are kept for a while on phone or internet servers (this is true), and it is possible that someone she doesn't know could find them.  I also reminded her that any photo sent out into cyberspace can end up anywhere; don't ever send out something you don't want the public to see.

Answer 10

What can you do?  Take away her cell phone and access (unsupervised for anything other than school work) to the computer/internet.  Talk to her about why this behavior is inappropriate.  Racey photos send a message to people.  She may think it made her look seductive or appealing, but what it really did was make her look "easy".

On the other hand...you said you "cried your eyes out" and I am hoping that was because she sent the racey photos, NOT because she was involving herself with a boy.  Parents nowadays expect their children to remain innocent angels forever and unfortunately, this is not the world we live in.  Have realistic expectations for your children regarding dating, sexual activity, etc. and make sure you take the time to instill good values and morals into your children - educate them on things.  Ensure that they have the information they need to make mature decisions for themselves.  Don't wait until it's too late.

Answer 11

Take her camera/phone/computer (whatever she could use to send these pics) away for a long, long time...

Answer 12

get some, and put them on her bed so when she walks in her room she see's them.

your note say's you would like an explaination please.

  before you talk to her father, just to scare her,

  you may hold up on telling him, but it may make her think again on doing it.

Answer 13

how did she send them? Phone or internet? Take whichever it was away and teach her about respecting her body and let her know how dissapointed you are

Answer 14

Home school her and never let her watch TV or listen to the radio.

Answer 15

I would ground her from the computer for a while.Teens love their computers so I think this will do the trick.And tell her that you will start tracking everything she does if you found out that she is doing this again.

Answer 16

Tell her that exploiting herself is self degrading and unexcusable. Take away her camera and her computer for a month.

Answer 17

Imagine yourself at 14...and now imagine that you had today's technology at your command!

It really isnt a big deal (I know, "easy for me to say"), but that is true because you caught it and can nip it in the bud.

Let her know your feelings and remove her "social networking" abilities until you are certain she knows right from wrong.

Still...always remember what it is like to be that age (while understanding the changes in society and technology...for better or worse).

Answer 18

You can try to talk to her. You can punish her.  Short of grounding her for the rest of her time at home, you can't really prevent this sort of thing.  Her judgment is faulty.  It usually is when you're 14.  You can only try to explain why this is a bad idea and how this can hurt her for years.  Get ready for some serious talking.

Answer 19

i am 15 and would never do something like that however if i done that and my mom found out then i would want her to understand that it is not big deal.

i think you should talk to her...not shout......just tell her what she done is not right yet give her freedom by saing you dnt mind her having boyfriends but there should be some level of respect as boys like to take advantage.

if she gets angry or does not listen to you then you have every right to get strict on her but hopefully it wont come to that

some times us teenagers have to learn from our mistakes. lol

goodluck!

Answer 20

Take away her phone/PC.   she needs to learn there are consequences for  her actions....

Answer 21

She is fourteen, at this age, girls and boys start experiencing these things, it's natural for them to want to attract the opposite s*x. He is 15, which is good, at least she is not sending them to some random old man. I trust she likes this boy for a reason, think about it. She is growing up, 15 is about the age when these things start happening. What I would do, is talk to her. Just tell her she should wait for the right person, like when its serious, to start this behavior, so she wont regret it. It's important that you don't  show her how torn you are by this, because she may feel you are acting irrational and rebel. But if you talk to her, normally of course, about the subject, and the risks of s*x, and all these things, she will be more willing to listen to you input. good luck hun

Answer 22

lots of young girls and boys show eachtoher pictures of eachother....especially inaproppiate....its probably a boy she meet on myspace...talk to her about it

Answer 23

I know you don't want to hear this but maybe it's time for the talk and birth control. It's better to offer BC than end up with a pregnant teen. No one likes to think about their child doing this, but these days teens aren't waiting around like they use to. You still need to explain it isn't right and that she should respect herself more but If I were you I would prepare for the worse and hope for the best,sometimes no amount of talking will keep them from doing what they want.

Answer 24

talk to her about it dont get mad at her just talk

Answer 25

confront her...take AWAY picmail....thats the main reason teens want pic mail, trust me !

Answer 26

That could be a very dangerous thing to do. A hairbrush blistering a bare bottom sound appropriate.

Answer 27

how did she send them? if it was e-mail, then you havent been following the first rule of parenting young teens. the ONLY internet access teens should have is school, library , and home. at home the only access available to youngsters should be in a common area like the living room, so the other family members are aware of the sites and activities the kids are up to when on-line!

Answer 28

Take away her computer and cell phone until school starts so she cannot send anything else. Make some time with her one on one to do fun things -- go out for ice cream -- make smoothies -- maybe go to a movie -- whatever and in that relaxed atmosphere talk about respecting herself and her body and how people can get the wrong idea even if you meant it for fun.

Then right before school starts again give her a hug and tell her you are proud of her and you trust her.

I can understand you were upset but this is simply her exploring and being bold.  You can use this to build a closer relationship.

Answer 29

Tell her that you know about it. That'll probably freak her our enough. She probably didn't think anything of them.

Answer 30

I'd sit her down and take away her cell phone and/or computer and tell her if behavior like this continues you'll speak to the boys parents.

I've heard a lot about things like this lately.  Have you read any of the articles lately with Miley Cyrus doing things like this? Theres been like 5 or 6 different occasions over the past couple of months where the girl had been posting/sending half nude pictures of herself. Some kids look up to her and they might find this acceptable.