I gave a daughter up for adoption 20 years ago, now I want to adopt a baby?

Question

I now have a 7 & 12 year old, and am remarried, but we're not able to have anymore children physically. My husband and I want another child together, but will the fact that I gave up a baby long ago count against us?

Answer 1

I wouldn't think that what happened in the past would have any reflection on the present. I don't know the reasons why you gave your daughter up for adoption, so long ago, & it's none of my business. Things happen in our lives that force our hand & heart to do what's best for the child, as hard as it is for the parent.(s) Find a good lawyer who specializes in adoption, & hopefully, all will go smoothly for your husband & you.

P.S. Forgive me for asking, but have you ever thought of trying to find the daughter you gave up for adoption?  I'm just curious, because I know that this child has always been in your thoughts & in your heart.  I'm adopted, so that's why ask. Didn't mean to pry.

Answer 2

Are you reunited with the child you placed?As an adoptee, I would have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I was relinquished and then mom goes on and adopts.

Answer 3

Of course not.

Answer 4

It won't. I know of someone who placed a baby for adoption and later went on to adopt 2 babies when her & her husband couldn't have biological children. I would be honest about your experience. If anything, you would be able to relate to a mother who is making the same decision you did 20 yrs ago.

Answer 5

I don't believe this is a question that is asked of you.

Answer 6

i' so sorry but i can't help only i can say is don't give up babies

Answer 7

Even if you were a teenager when you gave up your baby, you're probably getting a little old for a newborn aren't you - as evidenced by the fact you can no longer have children....   I think the window is shut for you and babies. Enjoy your preteens!

Anyway, wasn't it painful for you - do you want another mother to suffer that same loss?

How about you find your daughter, maybe she's got a grandchild already for you to enjoy.

Answer 8

It won't count against you at all.  My husband and I are in the process of adopting, and as part of our preparation class, we met a woman who had given up a child for adoption when she was much younger.  Now - she has other biological children, she has at least one adopted child, AND is a social worker for adoptions.

What the social worker(s) want to know is not whether or not you were unable to parent in the past, but whether or not you have the skills and home life suitable to parenting a child NOW.  If this is what you want - pursue it.  Don't be afraid to talk to your social worker about this issue ... he/she will be able to put your mind at ease.

Answer 9

You have nothing to be ashamed of, in fact you did something quite unselfish.  You carried your baby to term (when it might have been easier for you to abort) and made sure she was taken care of.  Now that you are able to care for children, and circumstances are better, there is no reason at all that you can't!  Good luck!

Answer 10

I don't know for sure but it seems like it shouldn't you gave a baby up when you couldn't take care of it. Now that you can you want to give another baby the chance of a happy family that someone gave your child.

Answer 11

it doesnt have anything to do with your question, but have you ever considered looking for that daughter you gave up for adoption?

Answer 12

Go for it!

Answer 13

It shouldn't.  And in fact I don't think it is even something you would have to disclose to them if you choose not to.

Good luck

Answer 14

Every factor in your life "Counts" but not the way you might think.... Having been throught placing a baby has given you some insite most adoptive parents don't have. The key factore are that you are now stable, safe and able to nurture a baby the way they need, and you already have 7 & 10 years of experiencs there.

good luck and God bless.