I gave some advise, am i right?

Question

Recently i gave some advise and i'm not sure if i am right.

here is the situation.

2 friends of mine i have known for close to 22 years. they are bf & g/f, and 4 weeks ago, had their first child, a daughter.

this morning, my friend came to work upset and asked for the day off, in a private conversation, he basically told me, that he woke up that morning saw his g/f asleep with their daughter, and realized, all he ever wants in life, was right there, he went to the jewelers, bought a ring and popped the question to his g/f but she took the car keys and left the house.

i have to point out that my friends have been friends too before they started dating, and have been together for 5 years. My own personal opinion is that there are no 2 people who deserve each other more because they are perfect for each other. i was delighted when they got together.

so this is why i gave the advise.

i said that when women have children, their hormones are in a spin and sometimes it takes a bit more time to get on track. plus combined with the shock of proposal will have made her confused. so the reaction is not surprising, she may just need a little time to adjust to the shock. i have no doubt it was a shock because the reality is, maybe it's a couple of years too late.

I told him, give her time, give her space, and don't pressure her, because it's a difficult time for a woman, and she needs to make her decisions, i also told him to let her know all this, but also let her know that the proposal was serious, and that if neccesary, the proposal will still be there in 2 years, if thats what it'll take.

am i right, i doubt myself sometimes.

Answer 1

I think you totally gave great advice & I applaud you for your insight & support of your friend!

Answer 2

I say that's good advice.  If she JUST had the kid her hormonal balance is probably still off a bit, plus lack of sleep and getting used to having a kid.  She may also feel that they are JUST getting used to this and doesn't want SO much change all at once.  I hope he told her what made him decide to propose because that is so beautiful.  SHe'll come back, she'll talk to him they'll discuss it and work out what's good for them.

I think it's great you told him to let her know she can wait to accept, or have a long engagement.  this is a very strange time for her getting used to being a new mom and all. So space and time is great advice.

It's so nice that they have such a great friend like you to help them!!!

Answer 3

Hello,

I think you gave pretty good advice. Stop doubting yourself. :) I hope everything works out for your friends.

Answer 4

You gave great advice to your friend.

I'd definitely agree that the new baby, then a proposal happening all at once probably sent her into panic mode.

However, when your friend does talk to her, make sure he lets her know that he didn't propose to her JUST because they have a child together.  Who knows what she's thinking right now, but it could be that he proposed because he felt obligated.

I'm not saying that's why, in any way.  It's a just a suggestion of why she may have freaked out the way she did.

Hopefully everything works out for them!

Answer 5

I think you gave very good advice.  It very well may have flipped her out when he popped the question.  New baby, hormones running rampant, all of a sudden he wants to get married.....I am sure she is overwhelmed and in overload.  I hope that everything works out okay for the 3 of them.  You sound like a great friend, stand by your buddy.

Answer 6

don't doubt urself. after i had my lil brat, i didn't want any help but didn't want those who were helping to leave me alone with him. they will get thru it. it will take sum time. and maybe meds.

Answer 7

I think you gave great advice.

Answer 8

You gave very good advice. Don't doubt yourself.  I think any professional would have said the same thing.  

Answer 9

nicely done. I could not have said it better myself.