I get married in 7 days and my MOH is being Very selfish and annoying.?

Question

I get married next Sunday and I called my MOH today telling her that I booked a 17 passenger Hummer Limo for my bridal party.

She said well, I am your MOH and honestly it would be better if Just you and your husband and your MOH and BM ride in the limo alone. She said" Believe me, you will be soo tired that you won't want to be with your bridal party...I told her, I got the Limo for everyone..Then she complained that her Dress was the sames as everyone else's and that she hopes to have a Bigger Bouquet. I dressed everyone the same and gave everyone the same flowers...Is the ball in her court or do I have a right to have things my way?

Answer 1

Most women/girls who want to be bridesmaids like to be a focal point of attention.  They want everyone at the wedding to know that they are Special - that they are the Closest and Dearest Friends of the bride and everyone else is not.  This particular MOH is of the mind that she should be showcased as the Most Special of All and needs all the trappings to not only remind the guests, but also the other bridesmaids.  It would seem that she is suffering some self-esteem issues and wants to put the rest of the bridesmaids in their (inferior) place by placing herself on the MOH pedestal.

Don't feel that you have to give in.  You may need to sit her down and tell her, "Yes, MOH, you are my honor attendant, but this is the vision I have for my wedding and so this is how it will be.  When you get married you can bring your vision to life, and I will support you in whatever role I'm given."

Answer 2

Just listen to her, smile and nod and ignore what she says.  She can only get on your nerves and annoy you if you take her seriously and let her.

Answer 3

I think you're right, it's your wedding and you call the shots, just make sure if she calls on you to be her MOH for her wedding, you let her call the shots. I think you're being very fair.

This is why I'm not having a MOH, just 2 bridesmaids who are equal to help me out!!

Answer 4

You are being perfectly reasonable, and I certainly hope that your MOH isn't the best friend you have.  

Answer 5

This is YOUR wedding, you have the rite to do, say, have whatever you want.  Everyone is to abide by your wishes, because it's your day to do whatever you wish.  If she gets to be too much of a problem, I'd come rite out & ask her if she doesn't agree w/you, is she sure she really wants to be in your wedding!  Congratulations, & best to you...:)

Answer 6

When she gets married, she can have it her own way. This is NOT her day however, its YOURS! So don't let her bully you. She's being very petty.

Answer 7

you should let her know straight up that it's your wedding, and you can do whatever you want... and then you should tell her if she doesn't want to ride with the rest of the bridal party then she can just meet ya'll at the place of the ceremony...

Answer 8

I think you're too overwhelmed with the planning process.

Your Maid of Honor just wants recognition that she's the Maid of Honor.  You want to spend equal amounts of time with her as your other bridesmaids, you put her in the same dress, gave her the same flowers... not that any of that is bad or your fault--but traditionally, the MOH is somehow distinguished from the other bridesmaids.

You should be more sensitive, even if you don't plan on changing anything.

Answer 9

I would say just ignore her. You are making the arrangements. All she has to do is show up and she has no cause to start complaining now.

My best wishes on a great wedding and terrific MARRIAGE.

Be happy and don't even think on it.

Answer 10

LOL. Geeez. My MOH is the same way.  I ended up letting her get a different dress, in the same color, but different. And, you have every right to want things your own way! It's your wedding.  And, just how petty she's being about the bouquet and her dress says something about how she feels about the limo: it's NICE of you to include your whole bridal party! Why should it just be her and the BM? I like the idea of everyone being together like that.  Especially if it's what you want.  And tell her to shut it when it comes to the bouquet and the dress.  Seriously.  

Answer 11

Do things YOUR way. The MOH's job is to take care of you and make you happy. Her role is to help you when you're stressed and make sure things are going smoothly. It sounds like she's got a jealousy issue, she probably wants to make sure she's getting a lot of attention. You don't want to hurt her feelings, but you don't have to cater you're wedding to make her feel special, in fact, it needs to be opposite. She should be the one making you feel special and stand out in the crowd. I say keep things just the way they are, because it will be a blast for the whole wedding party to ride in the limo and everyone will feel special. She doesn't need a special dress or bouquet, with the wedding a week away you don't need to stress over things that were taken care of already. If you do want to do something a little special just for her, because after all she is a friend, you can give her a special MOH gift. Maybe a necklace or a gift card or a fun gift bag/basket to let her know you appreciate her as a friend and helping you on your wedding day. Good luck, and be glad its not your mother in law causing the uproar!  

Answer 12

Ive got to say that both of you are right.

From your point of view, its your wedding, you've been dreaming, and planning this special day for almost your whole life..

From her point of view, the MOH SHOULD be set apart from the rest of the bridal party so people will know that she is special to you, and what not.

But either way, you should tell her that, its your wedding ,and youve been planning it for as long as you can remember, and you really would love for her to share the day with you, and love it not only for the fact that shes IN the wedding party, but because you would LOVE for her to be there for YOU.

She should understand, if you handle it the right way.

Answer 13

I think your being reasonable. It sounds like shes having some other issues. Maybe she feels left out or something.

Answer 14

Sorry to put it this way but F what she thinks. This is YOUR wedding. So what if she has the same dress and flowers tell her a** to get over it and you go ahead and enjoy your day.