I get soooo darn frustrated!?

Question

I have a 3 year old daughter who really doesn't want to learn anything. It doesn't help that i have a 4 year old who does most of the answering for her. As many times that i've corrected him on this, and told him it's not his place he still does it!! I'm even trying to get him involved in her learning since she does look up to him. it's sooo frustrating when she doesn't know simple things. She can count to ten, with help. She knows all of her shape and i'm not sure if it were a show tonight, but she acted like she didn't know her colors.

I seriously started getting angry with her this evening over not knowing colors. We were both frustrated and i told her, don't worry about it, we'll start again tomorrow, and we both calmed down. I'm wondering if there isn't a problem because it's mostly yellow, green and orange, that she can't grasp.

She gets screened for headstart next month and i really want her to be prepared, but i'm getting frustrated!!! I'm trying to teach her the Abc's and all she does is sing..a, b, c...twinkle twinkle little star. I stimulate her everyday.

Have any of you parents had experience with this? How can i help her to learn? Is there a problem?

Answer 1

My guess? She knows it, but knows you want her to know it, and is holding back. The more you push this, and the angrier you get, the worse it's going to get. That's my instinct.

You could always call the ped if you're concerned about her mental development, but it really sounds like she's messing with you.

I don't know what teaching methods you're using, but maybe you want to scale back to more subtle ones. Or rewards - does she like stickers?

My 4yo entered preK this year, and a lot of what they're doing he already knows. They will go over colors and he knows them, but not everyone does. So she doesn't have to know it all at 3 going into preK - so you can probably afford to take the pressure off. I don't know what headstart requires though.

Answer 2

She's 3 years old, not6.Lots of kids her age don't know what she does gasp already. Why are you so upset? She doesn't sound behind at all. Plus as you said, her brother takes care of her. I had two that were 17 months a part and had the same situation. Only the younger (my daughter) told my son (the older) what to do, and say, etc. She was a pain to him!! He used to say, Mommy make her leave me alone! She acted like the boss! If it really concerns you try teaching her when her brother is else where or napping, etc. She is not behind at all, really. My youngest, Travis, didn't know his colors when all the other kids did. i knew he was color blind when he was 3.The DRs told me he wasn't but I knew he was. Its rare for girls to be color blind but it does happen. The colors are greens, blues, red/orange that they can't see well. Go to the library and get a color chart that tests for color blindness. Ask her what she see's. My son saw something other than the rest of us b/c he couldn't see the colors. It may be nothing but try it as it would explain why she hesitates.

I think she's on track and you are co,mparing her to your older child. Just wait until she has her head start eval, I bet she's fine. Good luck.

Answer 3

i would say that she doesnt have a problem my child doesnt want to learn either but im not worried he will learn it when he is ready he just turned 4 he goes to preschool in 2 weeks. the best thing to do is dont doubt your child they are smart and if you do that then maybe they wont learn  

Answer 4

When my son was 3 he was the same way.  My daughter always answered for him, and he was always too distracted to try to learn anything.  He told me he didn't have to learn because he wasn't going to go to school, he was just going to stay home with Mommy forever.

So I started taking long walks with him during the day (alone, while my daughter was in school) and on our walks, each day we would pick a new letter of the alphabet and come up all the words we could think of that started with that letter.  We would count all the ants, the tulips, dogs, trees with flowers etc.  We would name all the colors we saw, or played 'I Spy' where ever we went.  There was no distractions from tv, telephones, or toys.

I made learning fun, not a drill.  And the kid loves to learn now.  He's a sponge.  Just take the pressure off of her, and yourself.  Make it fun and interesting.  If she still can't grasp her colors after awhile get her tested, she could be color-blind, but that's likely not the case.  Lay out a few crayons and ask her which one matches a pumpkin, the sun, or grass.  That might give you a better indication.  Just have fun with it, if she feels it's SO important then that could turn her off.