I get taken advantage of by my eldest ?

Question

daughter she does not work hassels me for money for hours and even nicks half my food, i am thinking of not letting her in the house anymore she never takes her kids out which i have brought up and it does get me down

Answer 1

Wow.  How did this behavior start?  Did she take advantage of you as a child?  I would make sure her children are taken care of, but not her.  If she wants you to support her children, take them in, but not her.  She needs to grow up and get a job, and act like an adult, not a child.  

Answer 2

You shouldn't let her do that.  My sister lives less than a mile away so she can mooch off of my parents.  They bought her a car, they buy all of the clothing and toys for her kids, and my sister always bugs my mum to take her out shopping too so she'll pay for her things.  And she's 30.

Answer 3

Be strong yes your her mother but if she dosnt have any respect for you then she dosnt deserve your help stop lending her money shes a adult and needs to do things for herself it may be hard but if you ignore her and dont let her see you down then maybe shell stop being such a self-absorbed brat.

Although maybe you need to talk to her she may have problems herself making it hard for her to move forward?

Mental problems or maybe lifestyle problems

But no matter the case she has no right to take you for granted.

Answer 4

mabye you guys should go to group therapy? But yeah i think you should not let her in your house

Answer 5

It normal for the eldest to ask for money and food sometimes. I really think that she should take her kid out more. if she is 16-25 it's problably because she likes partying  a lot. If she is around that age you should sit down and talk to her about her life or something. no disrespect but if she's older she MIGHT just be bad daughter/mother.

Answer 6

yea you should

Answer 7

make her learn her lesson...she is a grownass adult..... stand up for urself...make her do something alone

Answer 8

I'd sit down and talk to her, make some type of agreement that she'll have to start paying rent or such because its getting hard on you.

Tell her that you don't really have extra cash to be throwing to her all the time, and she needs to do something to help support.

Let her know that her kids need her and it seems that you're spending most of your spare time with them and throw in something she could do with them, like go see a movie, go out to dinner, go to a local park....

hope i helped.

Answer 9

How old is your oldest?  If she is over 18 then she needs to respect your house and your belongings.  If you don't put your foot down now, she will always be trying to free load off you.

Answer 10

First off, I am sorry this good-for-nothing is doing this to you. If i were you, I would kick her out, lock the doors at night, get a restraining order if you have to, and if she does not get a job ASAP call CPS. Child Protective Services will WAKE HER *** UP. In this day in age, women NEED to work. And if you are going to be having babies you HAVE to work! (this is why i am pro-choice. My boyfriend cant find work in this economy so i am the breadwinner. I put the food on the table, and gas in the car. I cant afford a baby and i KNOW it.) So seriously, i would sit her down, and tell her what is up, or have CPS "borrow" her kids until she can provide them with a safe, sustainable home with food, heat, water and insurance on her car if she has one. I believe that mothers can re-prioritize things REALLY quick if someone takes their babies from them. As her father, and someone who loves her, it's time for a little tough love.

If I did this to my father he would have had CPS on my *** before the first week was over. When I moved out of my house at 18- 2 years ago- I tried to move back in and they said NO! I made my bed, and i have to lie in it. That bit of tough love really helped me out, and i am finding my feet. I was counting on moving back in, and they dropped a BOMB on me. You need to do the same!

Answer 11

I would kick her out and fight for custody of your grandchildren.

Answer 12

It sounds like its time for some tuff love. What ever the whole story is your daughter sounds like see is grown so its time that she act like it.

Adults have jobs; make her get a job now! She needs some kind of income even if its not very much at the moment.

Adults have homes to stay in; Don't again let her stay the night unless she has a job to pay you for your help...or an emergency (meaning life threatening)

Adult provide for their children; if she cannot provide for her children and can't give them food or shelter for their best interest you should take them off of her hands or have them stay with her.

this is not about love or being nice...it is about what is right. There was a time when people had children they were completely responsible. If you had to rely on a parent to take care of your children it was because you could not be there to take care of them. Dont be her crutch. You owe no man nothing but your love.



Im trying to write this as eloquently as possible, but you know what people had to do in the past in this type of situation. Its for the children. God Bless