I going to adopt a 2 year old... Should i change his first name?

Question

I dont like his first name.... so should i change it? He wouldnt know the difference anyway

Answer 1

Nice try whoever you are, people on here know I'd never adopt.

*yawn*

(Oh and BTW you have the wrong background, I'm using the Munich background.  You better fix that.  Otherwise, not bad, it was a pretty good effort.)

Answer 2

My oldest child was 5 days old when I received him. I changed his name. My other 4 children were 3, 4, 4 , and 5 when they were adopted. I asked them if they wanted to change their names. They all said no so I gave each of them different middle names. Their middle names were those of family members they loved. I think if a child recognizes his or her name it is not right to change it unless the name will cause embarrassment or teasing as they grow. Their name is their identity.

ellie

Answer 3

Can he change yours if he doesn't like it?  I think 2 is a little old to change a name, especially for a vain reason as not liking it.

Answer 4

As you are an adoptee with no love for adoption you are obviously just asking this question because you are bored.

But I am too, so I'll play: I wouldn't change a 2 year old's name. The child is old enough to recognize it.

Answer 5

Definately not.

Answer 6

Yes!  Change it to DeLancey!!

Or Squishy.

ETA:  No wait!  I have he perfect name for the kid...you ready?

Walt Disney

Really!

Because adoptees are supposed to make everyone happy so why not name him after the founder of The Happiest Place on Earth?

It's perfect!

I wish you and little Walt all the best.

Answer 7

O.K. For one thing:  from the way you responded to Taylor M, I don't think you have good enough control over your anger to even raise a child without emotionally abusing them.  If you don't want people to answer your question, then don't post it.

Plus the way you said "I'm the boss."  really makes me question your motives about having a child in the first place....

Furthermore,  I think you are treating your future son like an accessory.  Its like saying "I don't like the color of this top, I'm going to exchange it for a new one."  You can't exchange your son's identity.  You bet your a** he knows the difference, and it WILL confuse him.  Clearly you know nothing about kids if you think a two year old wouldn't know the difference.  In the future he will feel like his true identity was never good enough for you.  You had to change it.

Answer 8

This is a very hard question.  I am sorry that people are so rude on this.  YOU are is MOM, HE is YOUR son.  You have the right to do as you please.  I would look up what it would do to him phycoligly ( talk to his doctor) of course although you do not care for his name you do want to do what is best for him.  A second option is to keep his birth certificate as his given name (with your last name) and give him a nick name that you love.  A nick name does not have to be anything like your name it is just a name people call you.

best of luck!! I am trying to make this decision myself.

Answer 9

Oh please don't! He has already had so much stripped from him. If he already has a name that he has been called for 2 years, please don't change it. Maybe add a middle name that you like, but he is not a cat you got from a pound. You just don't take that from him.

Imagine if someone took your first name? and you were already going thru so many scary changes! How confusing that would be!

And please do not underestimate what a 2 year old knows. I adopted a sibling group of two. My daughter was 18 months and my son 3 years. My daughter knew her name. It was the one thing that never changed as she went thru foster care.

Maybe you should discuss this with your social worker first and please please mention to her that you don't think your future 2 year old would know the difference. Please mention this to the child's advocate or the child's social worker as well.

Answer 10

I'm against renaming a child in almost all circumstances. And those circumstances would be if, say, the child had been named after a father who was an alcoholic and abusive and repeatedly beat their mother in front of them before they were taken by CPS and put up for adoption, then you might want to think about changing the name, because it just could weigh down on the kid's personality to know who they are named after, because the name has a meaning to them besides themselves; it connotates their abusive father. But, if there are no negative connotations, then all their name is to them is who they ARE.

Unless something extreme like that has happened, then there is no need to change their name. That is who they are, it is probably the only thing he will ever have from his biological parents.

And yes, he will know the difference.... he is two, and can probably respond to it and say 'My name is ........' People sorely underestimate the awareness of young children.

Something to note: yes, the child will be your son, but he is not 'yours' as you put it. He is his own individual with his own mind and personality, and he needs to be respected as such. He is not a hair excessory that you can change as you please.

If that really is your attitude, it makes me wonder about the seriousness of your question. I can't imagine someone like you (what with the other stuff you've been posting here) would be approved to adopt a child.

Answer 11

Keep this in mind...If a child is coming to you at 2 years of age, he may be coming to you with nothing BUT his name. It's unfair to take that away completely. Considering that it is a name you will say several times a day for the rest of your life and you don't like it, maybe you can find a nickname from his full name that you like or, add another middle name and call him by that but still keep his name.

Really, no one can tell you if you should change his name, that is a decision you have to make for your son. If you do change his name or at least how you address him, do it slowly so not to confuse him. If you see that it bothers him, back off. It's not worth it! His name will eventually grow on you!

Answer 12

I dont know about this one I think yes he is going to be yours so you should be able to name him but my daughter is almost 2 and I think she would find it a little weird if out of no where I started calling her something totally different maybe you could talk to the boy I know you might not think he would understand but try the name out first and if he answers to it then you could do it but if not I would probably stick to his name he was given Congratulation on adoptioning anyway 2 is such a fun age.

Answer 13

Yes, he is yours once you adopt him but you can't change his name after two years.  It will be very confusing to him.  His name is part of who he is so just leave it.  If I adopted a dog from the pound and he was two I wouldn't even change his name because hes already had it for to years.

Answer 14

h**l has frozen over! Lillie is going to adopt.

Yeah, didn't think so.

Answer 15

My 2 year old knows his first and last names. I think he would know the difference.

I personally wouldn't change it.

Answer 16

I believe the poster is trying to be sarcastic.

Answer 17

It depends. I would say yes, especially if the child has experienced some trauma in the time before you adopted him or her. It can provide him or her with a break from the past, and help your new child establish a new identity with you as the parent.

Answer 18

considering you just called someone on here a "miserable orphan who was never wanted", maybe you shouldn't be adopting in the first place.  sounds like you have some growing up to do.  poor child.  Did you ever think that maybe his little life has been confusing enough?

Answer 19

THe boys we're adopting are much too old to change their names (don't want to do anyway) but we're adding a middle name to each of their names....nothing taken away from them.

Answer 20

I would ask him to see what he thinks of the new name. If you do change his name, please consider at least keeping his origional name has his middle name, that way he still has some connection to the name he had for 2 years of his life.

Answer 21

By all means, change it!  After all, adoption is about making the adoptive parents' dreams come true, right?  If his current name is not part of your dream, then MAKE that dream happen, honey!

Answer 22

Lillie,

People answering don't necessarily know that you are being sarcastic...I've seen your posts on here before so I know your story.  You certainly know how to stir the pot ;)!

Answer 23

If you changed it to something that sounded similar, that would be easier for him to get used to. He's your son now, you have every right to name him.  You could always change his name legally and try to call him the new name, if he doesn't respond to it, or get used to the new name, you would still have legally named him but he could go by his old name.

Answer 24

lillie you have issues.  Wow....miserable orphans?  I seriously question your motives.  That said...

I don't think you should change the name.  That is his name, he already knows it very well.  He identifies by it.  You are going to change his whole world, why not give him one thing to hold on to, especially something as significant as his name.

Answer 25

i just feel sorry for that poor poor kid.

i hope you dont get to adopt him.

Answer 26

you're right, it is your decision to change his name.  BUT, he is two and he answers to his name so i think it would be confusing.

i personally don't agree with changing names.  i see foster children, especially the really young ones who can't speak up for themselves, get their names changed by adoptive parents.  these kids have nothing to take with them from their family of origin and the only thing they carry is their name at this point.  this may sound disappointing to an adoptive parent but someday that child is going ask where he came from and in many cases the only thing that trace them is a name.  

my father was adopted and was brought to the U.S. and his name was changed.  he was 7 years old at the time and to this day it affects him that he lost the name he was born with.  he in fact that name to his son so he could somehow carry it on.  i believe that it is almost as if they are losing a part of their identity when their name is changed.  i would encourage you not too, but like you said he's yours now right?

Answer 27

I would not change it.  It is what he has been called his entire life. And if you don't think that a 2 year old would know the difference, then maybe you should not be adopting a 2 year old.    They are very smart and understand more than you think.

I could understand changing the last name to your last name to make it a family unity, but not his first name.

If you don't like his name then maybe you should give him a nickname.

Answer 28

When we adopted two of our children they were almost three. They asked us not to change their names. With our daughter, she did not have a middle name, so we were happy to give her a name we loved.

With our son, we did not care for his middle name, his first name became his middle name, and we named him after his dad, but we have always called him by his middle name.

The final decision is yours.

Answer 29

Absolutely not. That's his identity. You shouldn't change the name his birth mom/dad gave him that would be wrong, especially since he's not yours. Your not in the position to say whether his name should be changed or not.

What is his name anyway?

Edit: And it has been a whole 2 years. He would know the difference, he's not like a few months old. Thats different.

Edit #2: That doesn't mean anything. Would you like it if your parents just decided "We don't like your name, were going to change it" after you already being used to it?

And your NOT the boss, your not his mother. His mother, who gave him the name in the first place is the boss.

Or better yet, ask him if he likes his name. He may be young but he should be able to tell you whether he likes it right?

Answer 30

Well of course you should. Why would you keep him a name that you dont like? Hes going to be your son so you should name him the name you want too. He's little, changing his name now won't confuse him.  He's 2 yrs old. How much do you really remember before you were 2?

Answer 31

statements like you don't like his name and he won't know the difference anyway scream that you have no business adopting a child.

what are you going to do when he has or does other things that you don't like?

this is not about you, it's about this little boy.  get over yourself.

my 2 year old is fully aware of her name and many other things.   you need to take some child development classes so you can understand and be respectful of what a child can and cannot retain at certain ages.  but 2 years of age they know many things.  their name being one of them.  most kids are responsive to their names before their first birthday.