I got engaged today...bridesmaid help needed ALREADY!!!

Question

My now fiance asked me the big question today on our anniversary. But since we spoke about it before i've thought about bridesmaids..

~ i have 1 best friend who i could never replace

~ a girl who is like my sister and i see about 3 or 4 times a week

~ another friend i see every weekend without fail and talk to through the week, i love her to bits.

~ a girl i've been great friends with since i was 6 and know her inside out.

~ then 2 more girls, 1 i see as much as i can because she is another one of my best friends and the other i see as much as the 3rd girl and i speak to her nearly everyday.

i have no sisters, my fiance has 2 but we do not get with them, so neither of us want them in the wedding...but my wedding is in a religious hall which seats 220 people at a big stretch. what do i do??do i cut people or have them all???

Answer 1

First off, DO NOT ask these girls right now.  Wait until about 8-10 months out from the wedding.  I know you're excited, but if you guys haven't even picked a wedding date yet, that's the first thing you need to do.  And then start focusing on your venue and other vendors.  Wait to ask your bridesmaids.  These girls are all very close to you right now, but you can't predict what your relationship will be like a year or two from now.  

I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of girls asking their bridemaids too early and then regretting it later because "now Sarah and I don't talk as much as we used to" or "Janey got a new boyfriend and has completely changed".  You don't want to be one of those brides who comes on here and asks "How do I ask a bridesmaid to step down?" (By the way, the answer is you don't, unless you want to ruin a friendship)

You can wait until 8-10 months and THEN if you're still as close to these girls, ask all of them.  Big wedding parties are starting to become a trend these days and I think look like a lot of fun.

Answer 2

I would wait a while until things calm down after the engagement to make any major decisions about bridesmaids, etc. I also wouldn't let people know who you are inviting to the wedding (unless they definitely are invited) because I have seen situations where the bride has told co-workers, friends, etc. that they will be invited to the wedding and then when it's gotten closer to the date they've realized that they can't afford all of these people and so not actually sent them an invite.

As for the bridesmaids, it's up to you how many you want to have. I think you could have all 6 if you can't separate them, but if you think 6 might seem like too many, perhaps you could ask a couple of the girls to do other tasks for your wedding- one could be the MC (announcing speeches, the bouquet toss, first dance, etc.) and one could do a reading/poem during the ceremony.

Just don't rush and make any decisions too fast- it would be awful if you told someone they were a bridesmaid and then had to tell them that they couldn't. Relationships do change, people move interstate and things happen. If any of them asks just tell them that you haven't made any plans yet.

Answer 3

I had 7 bridesmaids , 7 groomsmen and 2 junior bridesmaids.  I just couldn't say no.  It was so beautiful.  The pictures came out great !   The were all in red and against my white dress it was awesome..  

My daughter had 6 bridesmaids in her wedding and  250 guest.   It was very beautiful. But I had to rent a hall for her bridal shower.  I didn't have room in my house for everyone .

Her wedding cost me and her dad over 20,000.00. Not including the dress which was 1200.00.  

It really depends on how many you want there and what you can afford to spend.  Its your decision and its never to early to think of these things.  

Depending on when you are getting married you may need to start looking into photographers, halls and the Church.  

Congratulations !!!

Answer 4

congrats! wow, you haven't been expecting this have you? lol. these days, there aren't any rules for weddings. you can have just 1 person in your wedding party (maid of honor) or you can have 20. if you want them all, have them all. also there doesn't have to be an equal amount of groomsmen. good luck

Answer 5

Have them all!

I went to a wedding once when they had 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen and in the ceremony they were all lines up diaonally on the steps to the altar and it was beautiful!

Just remember that one of them can be your made of honour as well!

Congradulations and Good Luck!

Answer 6

Calm down...are you getting married tomorrow?  What is the big deal!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

well 1st of all congratulations.

i think you sld have them all its your big day.  It sounds like its going to be a big wedding and just think of the photos they will be amazing.

and as for cost of dresses either find someone you know to make them or hire them at least that way its cheaper.

just think of it everyone has got to do what the bride says lol.

by the way if his sisters by some chance do turn up make sure you have the (only you are aloud to wear white) rule

sounds like they would try and upstage you

take care

Answer 8

Hi and congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding!

The way I count them up there are six.  You can make your best friend the MOH and the rest bridesmaids.  Six is not unheard of where I live.  So, go ahead and have them all!  Just be warned....sometimes the bigger the wedding party (bridesmaids/groomsmen), the more drama there is for the bride.  It sounds like you have a good bunch of friends so I hope it doesn't happen to you....but sometimes, the "true" personality comes out with planning a wedding.  This one doesn't like the color of the dress you have in mind.....that one doesn't like the style....this one says she can't afford to pay for it....that one says she will not chip in for the bridal shower.

Again, I hope your friends don't go "bridesmaid-zilla" on you!

Good luck and happy planning!

Answer 9

6 isn't too many bridesmaids, my sister had 6 (her 3 sisters and 3 friends) and it looked fine. If you want less then consider having the most important to you as bridesmaids and the other 2 or 3 as the ushers.

Answer 10

1. Take a deep breath.

2. You can have them all in your wedding party. Make up your mind before you officially ask anyone, though.

3. Go celebrate your engagement!!

Answer 11

see how many Groomsmen your fiance wants, and then balence it out with your bridesmaids.  don't make any promises to any of them yet.  once you find out how many GM there will be, ask that same amount to be your bridesmaids or MOH.  if he chooses 4 guys, i would go with the first 4 girls, and ask the other two if they would like to do something else in the wedding (think of jobs for them beforehand, like helping decorate or choose music and all that).  if someone gets snappy because they aren't a bridesmaid, just tell them you would really like to have it even with the GM and that you thought their talents (assuming they have a special talent or something) would be better used in other ways.

good luck

Answer 12

Six people is about one too many bridesmaids. My mother had seven and my father had seven groomsmen, and the wedding pictures look horrible. As a bride to be myself, I would say five is the max. I cannot tell you which girl to cut out, because only you know your friends, but I would say the one who would be the least offended. Ask her to do the guest book or ask her to be your wedding planner. That way she is still involved, but your bridal party won't resemble the senior class photo!

As far as the size of the hall, the amount of bridesmaids you have is irrelevant. You would still have to invite those girls to the wedding even if they were not in the wedding party, so they would still be counted in the total number of seats. And believe me, that is enough seating. I tried to rent a place with more seating than that, until my fiancee and I realized how much favors for all those tables, wedding invitations and food would cost. It ends up being like 30 a person. Yikes! Especially considering no one outside of your family is going to spend that much on your wedding gift! Not to mention, when you look back at your wedding, you are not going to remember that half of those people were even there, to be honest, because the time will fly so fast. Keep it small! Spend your money on the honeymoon, which you will remember!

Answer 13

At least you have people to be bridesmaids in your wedding.  I have no one to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. have you even told any of these girls the news yet?  I would wait and plan some other details of the wedding .....or go get your engagement pictures taken!  

Answer 14

Congratulations!!!

You remind me of myself a bit when I first got engaged.

Here is some advice that I didn't take but I wish I had.

DO NOT ask anyone to be a bridesmaid until you have set a date and if you set the date for a couple of years away then do not ask anyone until you start making bookings and arrangements.

People can change very quickly and unexpected things can happen in their lives and if you ask someone too soon it's heart breaking to have to ask them to step down and kind of rude too.

Give your self time to think about who you really want in your bridal party.